A MEDICO-DRAMATIC SKETCH.

A MEDICO-DRAMATIC SKETCH.

221 principle of the Ten-hours RODERICK.—Well, this is all new to me. Bill, contained in Mr. Malyn’s paper. The But pray, sir (addressing himself to ...

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221

principle of the Ten-hours RODERICK.—Well, this is all new to me. Bill, contained in Mr. Malyn’s paper. The But pray, sir (addressing himself to REFORCHAIRMAN, however, said, that according MER), what makes you think this coniin-

in favour of the

to the rules of

the Society, they could not drum of Wakley’s likely to advance the take that step, but that on his vacating cause of Medical Reform ? the chair, the gentlemen present might do REFORMER.—Why, sir, it requires no so as an independent meeting. Œdipus to foresee that the venal medical Accordingly, some friend of Mr. KING Tories-" the men who have made broad immediately moved that gentleman into their phylacteries, and enlarged the borthe chair (Dr. Jewel having proclaimed ders of their garments,"-will be so sethe termination of the session, and quitted verely dealt with, and their morbid parts it), when resolutions to the effect pro- so dissected and exposed, that they will posed hy, Mr. Costello were forthwith stink in the nostrils of the public, who will passed with acclamation, and the meeting look upon them as the very maggots of

separated.

corruption. RODERICK.-As champion of the

con-

servatives I will stand up in their defence. We have little need, and less probability, of A MEDICO-DRAMATIC SKETCH. any revolutionary movement in the medical policy of this country. REFORMER.-The champion of the meHill’s SCENE, Burgess and Reading-room. RODERICK MACLEOD, HARRY EARLE, dical Tories, are you ? I really have not and A MEDICAL REFORMER, seated at a the pleasure of knowing you. May I be favoured with your name. table. RODERICK.-Most certainly; my name REFORMER. (Turning over the leaves of sir isTHE LANCET.)-Well, I am inclined to HARRY.—Stay, my dear Roderick, stay; hope THE LANCET Gallery of Medical Por- - don’t allow your candour to exceed your traits will do more in the way of accom- discretion. These are troublesome times, plishing Medical Reform, than anything you may involve yourself in a quarrel, and which the Editor has ever written on the thensubject. RODERICK.—Well, and what then, Hal ? RODERICK. (Affecting an air of surprise.)— You know my name is no insignificant LANCET Gallery of Medical Portraits ! one, and that I have reason to be proud of What—what—I never before heard of it. My name, sir (to REFORMER), is Roit. Pray what is it ? derick Macleod, and I am editor of the REFORMER.—Never heard of it! Why Medical Gazette, a fact which although I then, sir, I presume you do not read li once refused to acknowledge when an authe medical periodicals. It is to consist dacious fellow threatened to horsewhip of a series of correct lithographed pornow most readily avow. meiI traits of the most eminent physicians and REFORMER.-What ! are you indeed ! surgeons, each to be accompanied ; by a I could have had no idea of being in the faithful memoir of the depicted man, deof so renowned a personage. tailing his birth, parentage, and educa- Still I must be allowed to think that Metion, and all his professional characteris- dical Reform. is imperiously called for, tics, whether good or evil. Two are al- and that the time is not far distant when ready out-one of Sir William Blizard, it will be accomplished, and when the old the other of Clot-Bey. ladies of Rhubarb-hall, and the shavers of RODERICK.—Then the Editor com- Lincoln’s Inn will no longer reel in their menced with Sir William, did lie ? On ac- unrighteous orgies, like the delirious votaries of the Indian Juggernaut. count of seniority, I suppose ? The REFORMER.—Most probably ; but yet- plague-spot is upon them; they are a HARRY. (Interrupting him.)—No, not kind of modern Naamans, affected with on that account, I imagine, but from Sir the scabs of leprosy, who, having been William’s being pre-eminently insulting brought before the great high priest of meto the " subordinates," and Mr. Wakley’s dical Reform, the Editor of THE LANCET, object being to expose the stupid and the , must be dipped in the waters of regenevicious, as well as to immortalize the ration before they can be made clean. gifted and the virtuous. As the citizen HARRY. (To REFORMER.)—Do you said of Caius Martius, therefore, he think, sir, that Mr. Wakley in getting up ceeds against him first because he’s a veryhis biographies will be likely to be infludog to the commonalty." Mind, I give enced by an old grudge ? If so, I would this opinion snb rosa, presuming you are call on Fay the dentist, and Macchrisboth gentlemen, who, like myself, would the surgeon, to propitiate him. I fear tlisdain to retail private conversation he is my enemy

company

" pro-

tie

222 REFORMER.—I cannot answer for that.Physicians is the Hades of the medical All I can say is, that in your world, where Science has long been sacii. with Wakley you cut a very sorry figure ; ficed to Mammon, and its wandering ghost and if (as you undoubtedly must have is continually being driven away by been) you were conscious of being in the swarms of lucre-loving Plutonites. The wrong, you should not have dared him to ’ College of Surgeons is a great, filthy, Au= the combat. You should have learnt wis- gean stable, which, although it contains dom from Balaam’s ass, and turned out of just double as many herds as the King of the way when you saw your enemy beforeElis’s contained oxen, has never been cleansed out since its erection, and is now you. As it is, perhaps, he may punish a little more for your old offences; but as I become intolerably offensive from the 7,akfor Fay’s or Macchristie’s good offices, it its ings of its self-engendered corruption. The unreasonable you should calculate Apothecaries Company is an illiterate, them : you know they both gave contemptible,,junta-its acts stupid and Both the Act and the actors, like against you in the affair alluded to. HARRY.-O dear--O dear-I-I-I- the melancholy of Jaques, are compounded RODERICK.—Don’t be cast down, of many simples. The Legislature, when I’ll help you on; don’t look to it granted the former, thought probably he’s the very man who insulted me, and it imitated the wisdom of the Athewhom I hampered in the manacles of the nians, who passed a law for the admission law, at Bow-street. Pluck up, my boy, set of old women to medical honours and ap. the medical destructives at defiance-they pointments. cannot destroy our popularity, and should RODERICK, (Much excited.)-By Jove, not our peace. sir, I will not hear-

paper-war

you

upon evidence

illiberal.

Hal. Macchristie, that

REFORMER.—Aye, indeed, you are right.

HARRY.-Stay, doctor. (To REFORMER.)

The Mr. Macchristie your friend spoke of, Do you think, sir, there would be any is the self-same gentleman whom you chance of making interest with Wakley, bound down hand and foot at Bow-street, so as to get one’s self lithographed in THE lest he should experimentalize on your frail LANCET without being twitted on those anatomy, and deal with you as coolly as little mistakes and frailties of which few Magendie did with the greyhound. But of us have steered clear? 1 have but little you seem merry in the midst of your mis- personal vanity, and am not quite so young fortunes, and you remind me of Sir Thos. as I was ; still I flatter myself my portrait More, who is said to have been facetious would be no disgrace to THE LANCET. REFORMER.—You will doubtless have even on the scaffold. RODERICK.—I have nothing to make me a place in the gallery, but with what resad, having no apprehensions for the safety marks I have no means of knowing. of that cause in which I am embarked. Others exhibited will probably be-" Little Medical Toryism is based on the rocks of Benjamin the ruler,"-and " Robert le loyalty and legitimacy, and cannot be un- Diable," with a few other west-enders. RODERICK. (Resuming his composure.)— dermined by the frothy tide of blustering radicalism. Well, Sir, if reform in medicine should REFORMER.-Well, sir, pray enjoy your take place, I apprehend that, like reform equanimity while I admire your eloquence. in Parliament, it will effect no good; we In your infancy-as in the instance of should soon relapse into the old system. Plato-a swarm of bees must have settled REFORMER.-The idea is preposterous, on your lips, as a presage of your delect- and reminds me of the philosophy of old able elocution ! had a conundrum in his brain HARRY. (Aside to that the world turned round, so that after come, Roderick, we must endeavour to a certain time everything was to happen conciliate Wakley, or we hospital nobs over again. will be all sacrificed. (To REFORMER.) RODERICK.—Well, then, I will contend, What think you, sir, will there be any that should you overturn the present syschance of saving the corporations? tem, the LONDON COLLEGE OF MEDIREFORMER.—Not the slightest, CINE scheme will never be substituted you thoroughly purge them of their oldfor it. REFORMER.—You are a prejudiced and leaven. The same may be said of the hosinterested party, and before you attempt pitals, those modern Golgothas, the of skulls and numskulls, where almost argue the question, I advise you to every medical functionary is a Barabbas. imitate the philosopher of old, who, before RODERICx.-How dare you run he engaged in disputation, purged his the chartered bodies ? What have you to head with white hellebore, that the corsay against them individually ? rupt humours of his stomach might not REFORMER.—Don’t be so feverish, doc- annoy his reasoning faculties. tor, and I will tell you. Your College. of RODERICK.—Well, well, I concede the

RODERICK.)—Come,Chipps, who

unless

placestoi down

223

point.

But allow me to ask you how the

College is going on. REFORMER.—Away with your wheedling ! Why you are the very counterpart of Sidrophel’s Zany, Whackum, now

MEDICAL REFORM. THE THREE

"GRADES."-ONE NATIONAL "ROYAL COMMISSION"

COLLEGE. - A

" Whose business ’twas to pump and whefn)e, And men with their own keys unriddle,"

CONTEMPLATED, TO

with his

To the Editor

in

conjunction

literary

occupa-

tion, and his " trade of squandering paper and ink." For the desired information respecting the LONDON COLLEGE OF MEDICINE, I refer you to Lancaster Buildings. RODERICK.—What! the devil! Why the very first person I should there meet, would be that pugnacious person, my arch enemy, Mr. Macchristie, or Maccrusty, or whatever his name is. The very idea of the thing almost petrifies me. HARRY.-Poh ! Poh! Your quarrel with him was long since, and no doubt but the gentleman has ere this quite forgotten it. As to myself, I shall be guided into joining or supporting the new College entirely by the determination of my professional bre-

OBTAIN DELAY.

of THE

LANCET.

SiR,-You have most ably and most truly pointed out in your last No., that the only influence possessed by the ene-

mies of medical reform, arises from the discordant opinions, and, alas! too frequently, from the selfish views, of those who seek amendment by addressing the legislature and both Houses of Parliament.

The malady is deep-seated. Its existis admitted by all, yet the patient must be sacrificed because each Doctor insists upon his favourite or plan of treatment, as the only cureI Our foes are not numerous, but knowthren. ing that their strength consists in a perfect REFORMER.—I don’t doubt you; for union, they have not omitted any means from what I have heard of you, there is in their power of fomenting those jeafor which our corporations are so reason to believe you may be led this way lousies or that way with all the ease imaginable. admirably adapted, and by which they Like the cobbler of Beneventum, you have alone profit. Were the sincere well" wishers of medical improvement each to many handles in your nose. sacrifice but a little to the common good RODERICK.-I, also, shall probably be of their profession, their perfect success influenced in the matter by public opinion. would not long be doubtful or incomplete. We must all swim with the tide. REFORMER.—I believe you. Men of your Such a union would of itself be sufficient drive from the seat of corruption the principles can change to as many colours to whose only cry is MONEY. as the dying dolphin. " 0, Alac, thy slip- vile herdhave too often exposed the ab. You turns ! pery the prevailingdistinctions or RODERICK. (Much disconcerted.)—Pray, " grades," as they are called, to render it spare your sarcasms. I will this much confor me to add a word on this fess,-that I should have joined Mr. WakA PHYSICIAN, according to the point. ley in his advocacy of the new College, but that he has much abused me ; and in allu- present system, confines himself exclusion to my squabble with Macchristie, has sively to one branch of the healing artSURGEON, who, igrepeatedly called me " a coward." Be- norant ofpathology. Awould be scouted as medicine, fore this I had the reputation of being a an empiric of the lowest grade, has, in adhero. HARRY.—And he calls me a " cock-spar- dition to this branch of knowledge, to learn surgery, which, in fact, cannot be ac. row!" without many years of hard study. quired REFORMER.—Coward is a degrading apAPOTHECARY, Cod help him ! is pellation, certainly, and cock-sparrow to know evervthing that is commore so ; for, according to the Evangelist, obliged in the whole sphere of meprehended two cock-sparrows are only worth a far!!! thus establishing the fact, that thing. Perhaps, however, in future, the ! dicinewho learn least are best paid, while conduct of both of you will be such as to, ! they who know most, and practise most, are, ensureyoufrom the Editor of THE LANCET the lowest grade ! In the mean more dignified cognomens. Can such a state of things be any longer I recommend the care time, youto especial Will the general practitioner of that Providence, to the absurdity, nay, the disgrace, submit ‘° Who sees with equal eye, as God of all, of being obliged to sell physic instead of A hero perish, or a sparrow fall." being allowed to charge that reasonable Omnes. CExeunt remuneration for his services, which the Z. public are ever ready to accord to his Wiltshire, April 29th, 1833. merits ?

ence

remedy

"

surdity of necessary

internal

"

The

they forsooth,

tolerated ? ,