RENAISSANCE It is true; humor can be a wonderful medicine. This Renaissance section as well as some future ones will not focus on poetry or philosophi...

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RENAISSANCE It is true; humor can be a wonderful medicine. This Renaissance section as well as some future ones will not focus on poetry or philosophical ponderings, but instead, on another important area of life–laughter. We hope you enjoy these humorous anecdotes from a book by Karyn Buxman, MSN, called This Won’t Hurt a Bit! And Other Fractured Truths in Healthcare.1 The statements below were found in patients’ charts. Maybe they will produce a few belly jiggles; you know they are good for you. “The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaint.” “Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.” “Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.” “The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.”

turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.” “She is numb from her toes down.” “While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.” “The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as stockbroker instead.” “Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.” “Patient is short of breath even at the thought of exertion.” “The patient is functionally illetrate.” “The patient fell off a driveway onto a ladder.” “She lives in an environment that is not fit for human consumption.”

“Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.”

“Although alert and generally oriented, she tends to suffer from good judgment.”

“Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought that you might like to work her up.”

“The mother has been doing a nice job of manipulating the foot with diaper changes.”

“Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.”

“He was seeing people who were dead and suffering from shortness of breath.”

“Patient refused autopsy.” “Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.” “Discharge status: alive, but without permission.” “The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.” “Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.” “On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it completely disappeared.”

“The patient is 76 years old . . . His mother is elderly also.” “The lungs are clear, except for congestion.” “She broke her hip when she slipped and fell on a wet floor. She is practically blind and didn’t notice the floor.” “The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.” “The skin was moist and dry.” “Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.” “Patient was alert and unresponsive.”

“She has had no rigors or chills, but her husband states that she was very hot in bed last night.”

“Patient deserves a colonoscopy.”

“The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.”


“I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.”

1. Buxman K. This Won’t Hurt a Bit! And Other Fractured

“The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet

Truths in Healthcare. Hannibal, MO: LaMoine Press; 2000; 86-91.

CURRENT SURGERY • © 2001 by the Association of Program Directors in Surgery Published by Elsevier Science Inc.

0149-7944/01/$20.00 PII S0149-7944(01)00503-7