- Email: [email protected]
Dear friends …
Dear Friends
A 99-year old resident gives would-be letter writers a few pointers. RUBY O L I V E R / M A R Y BAYER I
love keeping in touch with my family and friends. Getting a. letter brightens up m3/whole day. But when a letter comes for m e - - I can't get it open. Someone opens it for m e - - b u t the print is too small for me to read. When someone reads the letter to me, I want to answer i t - - b u t I can't write anymore. Even ifI could write, I wouldn't be able to read what I had written. I'm grateful when someone offers to write for me, but when the letter is finished, sometimes it doesn't sound like me. I'm still a unique individual with an active life I want to share with family and friends-- I just happen to live in a nursing home. If I could teach helpers how to write the sort o f letter I would write ifI could, this would be m y advice: Write early and often. First o f all, tell everyone how much I enjoy their cards and letters and ask them to send more. Reread the latest letter and let's write a response to every paragraph. Be patient and help me find the words to express how happy I am that my greatgrandson is doing Iwell in school; that my daughter enjoyed her trip tO Pans. Together, let's think o f some questions to ask. Maybe they'll write again soon to give me the answers. I know, it's an old trick, but it works. M y life's still busy. I'm interested in my family's life and I want them to be interested in my life. Check the facility activities calendar to remind us about what's been going on around here lately. Have we had any pet therapy visits? My gr~atgrandchildren al•
.
•
Ruby Oliver, RN, a resident ofthe Sandy River Nursing Care Center, Farmington, ME, celebrates her 100th birthday April 11. Mary Bayer, RN, BSN, is the owner and consultant administrator of the Sandy River Alliance Nursing Care Centers. She has helped many residents write letters though her pen.
Mary Bayer pens Ruby Oliver's thoughts as Roscoe, the facility mascot, looks on.
ways like-io get a full description o f the kittens and puppies that the lady from the ASPCA brings in. IfI went to a cooking or craft class, let's describe what I made. Have I gone on an outing? Have I participated in a social event? If so, lei's describe the food, the decorations, and the entertainment. Look through my guest book so we can say who has been to visit me. Also, read me all the letters I've received recently so we can pass along any news from other family members and friends. Let's write about what my room looks like, the furniture, decorations, view. We can write about friends here among the patients and staff. I can mention my roommate too - - all o f her good (and bad) points• Let's mention the holiday church services and who participated. O f course, I have my downs too. But I'm sure my loved ones want to know about my physical therapy and progress--or lack thereof. They'll want to know, too, how well I'm doing with my walker, or if I need a wheelchair fulltime now. We can also work in a few paragraphs about the
weather here and ask them about their weather. If the cold is making my bursitis act up, we can hint for a new sweater or shawl to keep my shoulders warm. Love always. The most important part, o f course, is to tell my friends and family that I love them and think o f them often. Let them know I'd love to see them. My happy memories o f the .past are precious but tell them how much I like to get new photos, too, o f family babies, new cars, houses, boyfriends, anything that's a part o f their lives so I can make it a part o f mine. Remember, it's my letter. Above all, help me sound interesting and worth knowing. Make my letter so enjoyable that my family and friends will want to respond quickly in order to get a letter back from me. When we've finished writing a letter, please take the time to read it over to me very slowly so I'm sure that we're saying what is in my heart. If possible, help me sign the letter in my own handwriting. And if you do take the time to write a letter for me, please know how much I appreciate your efforts. GN
Geriatric Nursing March/April 1990 71
A 99-year old resident gives would-be letter writers a few pointers. RUBY O L I V E R / M A R Y BAYER I
love keeping in touch with my family and friends. Getting a. letter brightens up m3/whole day. But when a letter comes for m e - - I can't get it open. Someone opens it for m e - - b u t the print is too small for me to read. When someone reads the letter to me, I want to answer i t - - b u t I can't write anymore. Even ifI could write, I wouldn't be able to read what I had written. I'm grateful when someone offers to write for me, but when the letter is finished, sometimes it doesn't sound like me. I'm still a unique individual with an active life I want to share with family and friends-- I just happen to live in a nursing home. If I could teach helpers how to write the sort o f letter I would write ifI could, this would be m y advice: Write early and often. First o f all, tell everyone how much I enjoy their cards and letters and ask them to send more. Reread the latest letter and let's write a response to every paragraph. Be patient and help me find the words to express how happy I am that my greatgrandson is doing Iwell in school; that my daughter enjoyed her trip tO Pans. Together, let's think o f some questions to ask. Maybe they'll write again soon to give me the answers. I know, it's an old trick, but it works. M y life's still busy. I'm interested in my family's life and I want them to be interested in my life. Check the facility activities calendar to remind us about what's been going on around here lately. Have we had any pet therapy visits? My gr~atgrandchildren al•
.
•
Ruby Oliver, RN, a resident ofthe Sandy River Nursing Care Center, Farmington, ME, celebrates her 100th birthday April 11. Mary Bayer, RN, BSN, is the owner and consultant administrator of the Sandy River Alliance Nursing Care Centers. She has helped many residents write letters though her pen.
Mary Bayer pens Ruby Oliver's thoughts as Roscoe, the facility mascot, looks on.
ways like-io get a full description o f the kittens and puppies that the lady from the ASPCA brings in. IfI went to a cooking or craft class, let's describe what I made. Have I gone on an outing? Have I participated in a social event? If so, lei's describe the food, the decorations, and the entertainment. Look through my guest book so we can say who has been to visit me. Also, read me all the letters I've received recently so we can pass along any news from other family members and friends. Let's write about what my room looks like, the furniture, decorations, view. We can write about friends here among the patients and staff. I can mention my roommate too - - all o f her good (and bad) points• Let's mention the holiday church services and who participated. O f course, I have my downs too. But I'm sure my loved ones want to know about my physical therapy and progress--or lack thereof. They'll want to know, too, how well I'm doing with my walker, or if I need a wheelchair fulltime now. We can also work in a few paragraphs about the
weather here and ask them about their weather. If the cold is making my bursitis act up, we can hint for a new sweater or shawl to keep my shoulders warm. Love always. The most important part, o f course, is to tell my friends and family that I love them and think o f them often. Let them know I'd love to see them. My happy memories o f the .past are precious but tell them how much I like to get new photos, too, o f family babies, new cars, houses, boyfriends, anything that's a part o f their lives so I can make it a part o f mine. Remember, it's my letter. Above all, help me sound interesting and worth knowing. Make my letter so enjoyable that my family and friends will want to respond quickly in order to get a letter back from me. When we've finished writing a letter, please take the time to read it over to me very slowly so I'm sure that we're saying what is in my heart. If possible, help me sign the letter in my own handwriting. And if you do take the time to write a letter for me, please know how much I appreciate your efforts. GN
Geriatric Nursing March/April 1990 71