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Father's days. A true story of incest
252
Book reviews
nature of the problem and distinguishing between dependent and dominant patterns of husband-wife relationship, focuses the treatment needs on the "'offender" rather than on the family. The family treatment section, although delineating the issues which need to change, does not give as helpful advice clinically on how to work with the family system as such. The section on art therapy with sexually abused children based on Sarah Joe Stember's work is most interesting, informative and innovative. There is an obvious role for such an approach to assessment and therapeutic work, a real contribution to the field. The chapter on law enforcement, although applying to a different legal system than the one with which I am familiar, seems to provide some most helpful hints to assist the two professional groups to talk and work with each other, absolutely essential if a satisfactory and meaningful sexual abuse project is to be effective and to work well. I was left wondering what happens to sexually abused children and their families in Connecticut now that this very admirable project has come to an end. Perhaps the "Handbook" is an epitaph.
Consultant Psychiatrist The Hospital for Sick Children Great Ormond Street London WC1N 3JH
ARNON BENTOVIM,F.R.C.PsYCH. D.P.M.
If I Should Die Before I Wake. Michelle Morris, T. B. Tarcher, Boston, 1982, 197 pp., $11.95. Carors Story. Chip Ricks. Tynsdale House, Wheaton, IL, 1981, 202 pp., $4.95. Father's Days. A True Story of Incest. Katherine Brady. Seaview Books, New York, 1979, 216 pp., $9.95. D U R I N G THE PAST FIVE YEARS, several books have appeared recounting the agony experienced by victims of father-daughter incest during the active phase and thereafter into adulthood. The abusive acts described by these authors are gut-wrenching and make one despair over the forces that drove their fathers to such extremes. Carol's father, for example, began to violate her when she was only six years old and finally impregnated her while she was still in the seventh grade. At age thirteen, he arranged to have her raped by his "friend." These three books are reviewed not because the stories differ, but rather because the tones the authors take differ. Carol tells her story with deep sadness not so much for the abuse she suffered, but in bereavement for the love she was denied by her parents when she was a child. Adding to her confusion is the guilt she feels for having failed in the mother/wife role she was forced to assume. Carol turns to religion for relief and is comforted by her pastoral counselor. Katherine rejects feelings of guilt and forcefully voices her resentment and anger at the way she was sexually exploited and debased by her father and her mother's inability to protect her. The tone of Michelle's book is generally one of cold, objective fury as she meticulously describes the acts of relentless cruelty by her father. She is choked by a loathing which she could only appease by planning and carrying out his execution. Not only these three books, but the approximately 2,000 letters received by Parents United from women (and a few men) who were molested as children by their fathers scuttle the claims of a few overly cited individuals that father-daughter incest may not be harmful and may even be beneficial to the child, and that the main damage is wrought by moralistic interveners. The attitudes of official interveners will, of course, add to the distress of the principals and the family as a whole if the punishment of the father is excessive (the pound of flesh is taken from the victim as well), and if they repeatedly interrogate the child for the sole purpose of acquiring court-proof evidence. Fear of the authorities undoubtedly prevented the victims in these three books from reporting the incestuous situation. The recognition of rage felt towards their parents, and its discharge, as in the writing of these autobiographical accounts, is an important stage in the therapeutic process, but does not mark the end of it. These three books are well-written and strengthened by autobiographic authority, including the one
Book reviews
253
by Morris which is described as a novel. The books are cathartic for the writers as well as the readers, especially those who were also sexually abused as children.
Executive Director Parents United, Inc. P.O. Box 952 San Jose, California 95108
HENRY GIARRETTO,PH.D.
Father-Daughter Incest. Judith L. Herman (with L. Hirschman). Harvard University Press, Cambridge, MA and London, England, 1981, 282 pages, $15.95. FATHER-DAUGHTER INCEST synthesizes the information Dr. Judith Herman of the Women's Mental Health Collective gathered during in-depth interviews with women who had been incest victims. She obtained her subject population by asking an informal network of therapists in the Boston area to refer to the study patients in their private practices who had a history of being incestuously victimized by their fathers. Dr. Herman then compared the forty women who consented to be studied (she does not say how many refused) with a group of twenty women in psychotherapy who reported that during their childhood their fathers had been frankly seductive but had never attempted actual incest. Like so many authors who have written about incest in the past, Dr. Herman tells her readers of the sorrow, anger and perplexity both groups of women suffered. Poignant, descriptive excerpts from the interviews are scattered throughout this book's pages and deserve careful reading. The statistical analyses are simpler to share in what must be a short review. Daughters victimized by incest were significantly more prone to adolescent pregnancy, to tolerate extremes of physical abuse in their marriages, and to have a predominantly negative self-image than were daughters in the comparison group. Daughters victimized by incest were more likely to make a runaway attempt, a suicide attempt, to be promiscuous and to abuse alcohol and drugs, but these tendencies were not statistically significant. Both these groups of psychotherapy patients suffered frequent, major depressive symptoms as well as sexual problems. Dr. Herman writes in an exciting, passionate style which aims to persuade her readers of the accuracy of her feminist conclusions that incest is a product of male supremacy and the rearing of children by "subordinate women." What do Dr. Herman's victimized patients report about their parents? Many daughters "described their fathers as gifted, likeable, and intelligent, terms they rarely applied to their mothers." Some daughters viewed their mothers ambivalently, "excusing their weaknesses as best they could . . . Many daughters remembered their mothers only with bitterness and contempt. They described the women who had borne them as selfish, uncaring, and cruel." Incestuous daughters were significantly more likely to report that their fathers had been violent (p ,(.05). They were even more likely to report that their mothers had suffered periods of disabling illness which resulted in frequent hospitalizations or in the mother's living as an invalid at home (p ~.01). Depression, alcoholism, and psychosis were among the most common causes of the mothers' disability. "Over a third (38%) of the daughters had been separated from their mothers for some period during childhood. The separations occurred because their mothers either were hospitalized or felt unable to cope with their child care duties and temporarily placed their daughters in the care of relatives" (p ~.01). Dr. Herman feels that the origin of the mothers' ailments, though obscure in some instances, was only too obvious in others: repeated enforced pregnancies. While Dr. Herman follows many others who have noted that families of incest victims are larger than those in the general population, she presents no evidence to support the idea that in her research sample, or in any other in report in the literature, these pregnancies were "enforced." In Chapter Seven, Dr. Herman ponders the reasons for the seductive fathers' greater self-restraint (whatever their impulses may have been, these fathers did not commit actual incest). She entertains the possibility that these men had "better developed adult personalities and more highly elaborated inner controls," but finds these possibilities impossible to test given her data. More impressive to her in the seductive-father families was the daughters' descriptions of their mothers: These women "appeared to
Book reviews
nature of the problem and distinguishing between dependent and dominant patterns of husband-wife relationship, focuses the treatment needs on the "'offender" rather than on the family. The family treatment section, although delineating the issues which need to change, does not give as helpful advice clinically on how to work with the family system as such. The section on art therapy with sexually abused children based on Sarah Joe Stember's work is most interesting, informative and innovative. There is an obvious role for such an approach to assessment and therapeutic work, a real contribution to the field. The chapter on law enforcement, although applying to a different legal system than the one with which I am familiar, seems to provide some most helpful hints to assist the two professional groups to talk and work with each other, absolutely essential if a satisfactory and meaningful sexual abuse project is to be effective and to work well. I was left wondering what happens to sexually abused children and their families in Connecticut now that this very admirable project has come to an end. Perhaps the "Handbook" is an epitaph.
Consultant Psychiatrist The Hospital for Sick Children Great Ormond Street London WC1N 3JH
ARNON BENTOVIM,F.R.C.PsYCH. D.P.M.
If I Should Die Before I Wake. Michelle Morris, T. B. Tarcher, Boston, 1982, 197 pp., $11.95. Carors Story. Chip Ricks. Tynsdale House, Wheaton, IL, 1981, 202 pp., $4.95. Father's Days. A True Story of Incest. Katherine Brady. Seaview Books, New York, 1979, 216 pp., $9.95. D U R I N G THE PAST FIVE YEARS, several books have appeared recounting the agony experienced by victims of father-daughter incest during the active phase and thereafter into adulthood. The abusive acts described by these authors are gut-wrenching and make one despair over the forces that drove their fathers to such extremes. Carol's father, for example, began to violate her when she was only six years old and finally impregnated her while she was still in the seventh grade. At age thirteen, he arranged to have her raped by his "friend." These three books are reviewed not because the stories differ, but rather because the tones the authors take differ. Carol tells her story with deep sadness not so much for the abuse she suffered, but in bereavement for the love she was denied by her parents when she was a child. Adding to her confusion is the guilt she feels for having failed in the mother/wife role she was forced to assume. Carol turns to religion for relief and is comforted by her pastoral counselor. Katherine rejects feelings of guilt and forcefully voices her resentment and anger at the way she was sexually exploited and debased by her father and her mother's inability to protect her. The tone of Michelle's book is generally one of cold, objective fury as she meticulously describes the acts of relentless cruelty by her father. She is choked by a loathing which she could only appease by planning and carrying out his execution. Not only these three books, but the approximately 2,000 letters received by Parents United from women (and a few men) who were molested as children by their fathers scuttle the claims of a few overly cited individuals that father-daughter incest may not be harmful and may even be beneficial to the child, and that the main damage is wrought by moralistic interveners. The attitudes of official interveners will, of course, add to the distress of the principals and the family as a whole if the punishment of the father is excessive (the pound of flesh is taken from the victim as well), and if they repeatedly interrogate the child for the sole purpose of acquiring court-proof evidence. Fear of the authorities undoubtedly prevented the victims in these three books from reporting the incestuous situation. The recognition of rage felt towards their parents, and its discharge, as in the writing of these autobiographical accounts, is an important stage in the therapeutic process, but does not mark the end of it. These three books are well-written and strengthened by autobiographic authority, including the one
Book reviews
253
by Morris which is described as a novel. The books are cathartic for the writers as well as the readers, especially those who were also sexually abused as children.
Executive Director Parents United, Inc. P.O. Box 952 San Jose, California 95108
HENRY GIARRETTO,PH.D.
Father-Daughter Incest. Judith L. Herman (with L. Hirschman). Harvard University Press, Cambridge, MA and London, England, 1981, 282 pages, $15.95. FATHER-DAUGHTER INCEST synthesizes the information Dr. Judith Herman of the Women's Mental Health Collective gathered during in-depth interviews with women who had been incest victims. She obtained her subject population by asking an informal network of therapists in the Boston area to refer to the study patients in their private practices who had a history of being incestuously victimized by their fathers. Dr. Herman then compared the forty women who consented to be studied (she does not say how many refused) with a group of twenty women in psychotherapy who reported that during their childhood their fathers had been frankly seductive but had never attempted actual incest. Like so many authors who have written about incest in the past, Dr. Herman tells her readers of the sorrow, anger and perplexity both groups of women suffered. Poignant, descriptive excerpts from the interviews are scattered throughout this book's pages and deserve careful reading. The statistical analyses are simpler to share in what must be a short review. Daughters victimized by incest were significantly more prone to adolescent pregnancy, to tolerate extremes of physical abuse in their marriages, and to have a predominantly negative self-image than were daughters in the comparison group. Daughters victimized by incest were more likely to make a runaway attempt, a suicide attempt, to be promiscuous and to abuse alcohol and drugs, but these tendencies were not statistically significant. Both these groups of psychotherapy patients suffered frequent, major depressive symptoms as well as sexual problems. Dr. Herman writes in an exciting, passionate style which aims to persuade her readers of the accuracy of her feminist conclusions that incest is a product of male supremacy and the rearing of children by "subordinate women." What do Dr. Herman's victimized patients report about their parents? Many daughters "described their fathers as gifted, likeable, and intelligent, terms they rarely applied to their mothers." Some daughters viewed their mothers ambivalently, "excusing their weaknesses as best they could . . . Many daughters remembered their mothers only with bitterness and contempt. They described the women who had borne them as selfish, uncaring, and cruel." Incestuous daughters were significantly more likely to report that their fathers had been violent (p ,(.05). They were even more likely to report that their mothers had suffered periods of disabling illness which resulted in frequent hospitalizations or in the mother's living as an invalid at home (p ~.01). Depression, alcoholism, and psychosis were among the most common causes of the mothers' disability. "Over a third (38%) of the daughters had been separated from their mothers for some period during childhood. The separations occurred because their mothers either were hospitalized or felt unable to cope with their child care duties and temporarily placed their daughters in the care of relatives" (p ~.01). Dr. Herman feels that the origin of the mothers' ailments, though obscure in some instances, was only too obvious in others: repeated enforced pregnancies. While Dr. Herman follows many others who have noted that families of incest victims are larger than those in the general population, she presents no evidence to support the idea that in her research sample, or in any other in report in the literature, these pregnancies were "enforced." In Chapter Seven, Dr. Herman ponders the reasons for the seductive fathers' greater self-restraint (whatever their impulses may have been, these fathers did not commit actual incest). She entertains the possibility that these men had "better developed adult personalities and more highly elaborated inner controls," but finds these possibilities impossible to test given her data. More impressive to her in the seductive-father families was the daughters' descriptions of their mothers: These women "appeared to