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Modern Swedish fatherhood: The challenges and the opportunities
G&an Swedin Great changes have taken place in family life in the last few decades in Sweden, as elsewhere in the industrialised world. Eighty per cent ofmothers with small children today are gainfully employed outside the home, leading to increased demands that fathers take on a greater share of work at home. Encouraged by the option ofpaid parental leave for fathers, expectant fathers have begun to participate more actively in early parenting. Experimental training classes for fathers have been initiated by the government to address the needs of expectant fathers in preparation for fatherhood. Thispaper discusses the consequences of changing views about fatherhood, and shares some experiences of fathers’ training groups, and the ways in which men’s parenting skills are growing and bringing them closer to their children.
BECAME a father for the first time in 1978, when I was 36. It became a decisive event in my life, and that includes my professional life. By then, I had acquired considerable experience as a specialist in gynaecology and childbirth. I felt that I was reasonably well prepared for what was about to happen, but my feelings, ideas and thoughts were nonetheless very different from what I had imagined. I discovered that I had not actually talked about these matters with anyone except my wife, especially not about the period of pregnancy. Further, while it had been easier to discuss the experience of childbirth with others, most of this discussion was about external, concrete events, and not so much about what was happening to me, and within me. If I - who had had hundreds of professional conversations with women and men who were about to have children or who had already had children - felt like this, how much more strange must it have felt for all those men who did not have my professional background? In my encounters with couples, I had spontaneously turned to the women as they were clearly the most important persons. Only occasionally did I focus directly on the men, and this also applied to emotional questions, fears, expectations, anxiety and happiness prior to a birth and parenthood. Yet I am a man myself. Why
wasn’t it natural for me also to be able to ‘see’ men, on their own terms? Eventually, I began to understand that there were several aspects to these difficulties and inner obstacles. Traditionally, the care of mothers and children is a female culture and discussions on pregnancy and birth assume a women’s perspective and employ women’s language. As a man - despite my profession - I did not have the words or the language for men’s feelings and experiences in connection with childbirth and fatherhood. It took me a long time - the birth of my three children and their childhood -before I managed to get over my doubts and insecurity, both as an individual and as a doctor, allowing my curiosity as to how other men think about and experience these matters to reassert itself.
OF FATHERHOOD Most cultures and societies today still maintain a strongly patriarchal tradition in which fathers have been the heads of families, exercised authority, and made the decisions. However, with men no longer the sole providers in the family, the clear division of male and female parental responsibilities is changing dramatically. Most women consider it self-evident and an essential fact of life that they should contribute to the family economy in addition to ful6lling their
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Swedin
duties as mothers. Further, single parenthood has increased sharply in recent decades in the industrialised world. Fatherhood has been weakened, marginalised or completely ceased to exist, with considerable and sometimes tragic consequences for children, men and women. In Sweden, too, developments in recent decades have led to a striking change in the balance between motherhood and fatherhood. Comparative studies over time have shown how parental roles, from the child’s perspective, have shifted from the traditional pattern of the 1950s to the father of the 1980s and 1990s who withdraws and hands over power and decisions to the mother.’ Is this lack of willingness to take responsibility a reaction to their own fathers’ traditional, authoritarian parenthood? In 7’he Reproduction of Mothering, the American social psychologist Nancy Chodorow describes the possible consequences of the fact that children are almost exclusively cared for and brought up by women in most societies. She believes that single-sex adult environments tend to increase polarisation and conflicts between the female and the non-female aspects of children’s personalities, because the positive aspects of masculinity are largely invisible to them for the greater part of the day. This, in her view, ultimately results in a continuing need on the part of a patriarchal society to control and disparage women and all things feminine - an expression of men’s latent need to ‘take revenge’ on their dominant mothers, child-minders or nursery school teachers who exercised control over them when they were children.* Chodorow concludes that in the long run, only a closer and more emotional contact between fathers and children from early childhood can break this detrimental circle. In a recent comprehensive overview of studies from both the psychological and sociological as well as ethnological fields, Elisabeth Badinter comes to the same conclusion.3
SHARED MODEL Since the ture has deavours
PARENTHOOD:
THE SWEDISH
196Os, a more democratic family strucbeen developing, for example in ento achieve a more equal relationship
between men and women, and between parents and children. Perhaps this applies in particular to
26
Scandinavia, and is no doubt a direct result of the feminist struggle for increased rights and opportunities for women on a broad front. Signs of a gradual change in the attitudes of men and fathers in the 1970s probably arose from external pressures from their womenfolk, who were collapsing under the combined burdens of motherhood and paid employment. By the late 197Os, more than 80 per cent of Swedish mothers of small children had jobs outside the home.4 This presumably explains why ‘the new fatherhood’ started to emerge during this period. Another factor which has probably been important is that for 50 years, the Social Democratic Party built a welfare state based on democratic values, justice and equality based on ideas that were also applied to family policy. The unique social insurance reform of 1974, which entitled Swedish fathers as well as mothers to take paid parental leave to take care of their newborn children, was implemented and justified primarily in terms of the principle of equality. The political indications were clear looking after children was a matter for both parents, right from the start
Paid Parental Leave: The Swedish Legislation Since 1974, Swedish mothers and fathers have had the right to take paid parental leave, but not at the same time. Initially both mother and father were paid 90 per cent of the mother’s income for a total period of 180 days. In 1986 the period of paid leave was increased to 360 days and fathers were paid 90 per cent of their own income when they took time off. In 1995 and 1996 the money paid out was reduced first to 80 per cent and then to 75 per cent of the mother’s and father’s income, respectively. To encourage both parents to take parental leave, 30 days of the paid leave are now reserved for the mother and 30 days reserved for the father. These 60 days are not transferable between the parents but the rest of the leave is. To further encourage both parents to take leave, these 60 days are better paid than the rest; parents get 90 per cent of their respective income for these days.
Reproductive
It was hoped that if men actively shared this highly traditional female task, they would acquire a greater understanding of what women did in the home, would be more willing to participate in women’s tasks, and would have closer contact with their children. A lively public debate followed the passage of this reform, largely dominated by women. Traditional child psychology, almost exclusively based on studies of the relationship between mother and child, stressed the importance of women in a child’s first year of life. Among other things, fears were expressed about the possible negative consequences for the child if the father stayed at home and became the child’s principal source of care during part of that year. Modern research, however, has been able to refute these fears.5 It has been shown that close contact with the father in the early years of a child’s life probably extends the child’s early social and emotional repertoire.” Children form ties with people who fulfll their need for human contact. The presence and accessibility of the father would naturally tend to make him one of the child’s most important objects of love, along with the mother. Interviews with men (and women) who have decided to share their parental leave have also demonstrated the considerable and radical importance for men of entering into a primary care relationship with their children at an early stage.7
MEN’S EXPERIENCE OF PREGNANCY Research on men’s parental roles from historical, sociological and ethnological perspectives has been done in both industrialised and developing countries.5 However, more detailed studies of experiences, thoughts and feelings concerning childbirth and parenthood among men who are about to become fathers are less common. Interviews carried out in Sweden in 1992 and the experience of maternity care personnel indicate that expectant fathers prepare themselves psychologically for the birth of a child in much the same way as pregnant women do.7 There has been a rapid change in attitudes towards male participation in pregnancy and childbirth in the past few decades. The reactions and feelings of the individual man are, of course, dependent on a variety of factors, including the age of the partners, whether both partners want
Health Matters, No 7, May 1996
the baby, the length and quality of the relationship and whether they have experienced pregnancy before. The men I have met in my work and whom I describe in this paper are men who wanted their children and were mostly first-time fathers. When men in this situation are asked about their fears and hopes for their child-to-be, they often express happiness at being able to start a family, and say they are looking forward to developing in a purely personal sense as a result of fatherhood. Many men also express anxiety, however, often about their ability to fultll this new function. In a remarkable number of cases, they also express fears about their partner’s situation - how she will manage the delivery or the period immediately after birth, and whether he will be able to give her adequate support. Concerns about what things will be like in the family, and whether he will be able to handle the financial responsibility when the family acquires another member, also emerge. Men often describe starting projects which are similar to the male animal’s ‘preparation of the nest’: renovating the house or buying a new one, trading in the car for a larger model, etc. Most expectant fathers give a firm impression that they have great respect for the situation their partners are facing, and they often express feelings of admiration and affection. Yet when both partners are present, it often becomes clear, unfortunately, that the wife is unaware of her partner’s warm and positive feelings about her. At home, it seems, he seldom puts his feelings into words. Many expectant fathers even experience physical changes themselves. These have been referred to as couvade symptoms, in accordance with an ethnological description of the rites which a father must observe in connection with the birth of a child.a The symptoms can include nausea, headaches and indigestion, and they normally disappear as soon as the child is born.g
EXPECTANT FATHERS AT CHILDBIRTH Sweden is one of the first countries where a tradition has developed of offering expectant fathers the opportunity to be present when their child is born. This started in the late 195Os, and ten years later it had become the rule. In
Sweden and elsewhere, this male encroachment on the female world was regarded with considerable suspicion, particularly by personnel in chlldbirtb and maternity wards.lO In many cases, there were attempts to minimise the father’s contacts with his wife and child on grounds of ‘hygiene’. Well into the 197Os, the role of the partner was restricted to that of a passive observer. If any complication occurred in connection with the delivery, he was often asked to leave the room. Maternity wards often had strict visiting hours for fathers. The newly born child was still presented to the father from behind a glass panel. The temerity required to question traditional medical routines probably developed in parents’ groups, which were being established all over Sweden during this period, following a recommendation made by Parliament. Today many doctors and midwives think that it is an advantage if the man can follow the entire process of childbirth, so that he has a true picture of what happened. In the case of complications, the man is automatically asked whether he wishes to stay and be with his partner. It is believed that his presence may have a positive effect on the woman’s adjustment process and recovery. These changes have certainly been more a matter of parents’ expressed wishes than any awareness on the part of hospital staff. What are men’s own experiences of being present at the birth of their child? Feelings prior to birth are often a matter of a positive tension before a major experience, but also frequently of anxiety for the father’s personal role in the delivery ward. ‘How will I be able to make a specific contribution, and not merely sit and wait?’ is one common reaction. ‘What will it feel like to sit on one side, without being able to do anything if my wife finds things too difficult?’ is another. But there are frequently also ideas about the positive aspects of being able to support and assist, merely by being present - something which most men and women regard as perfectly obvious in Sweden today. Men’s accounts of the childbirth process are often surprisingly verbal, detailed and full of feeling. ‘That was the most exciting thing I’ve ever experienced!’ is one typical response. ‘Like watching a football match when the home team gets in a goal off the post in the last minute of the 28
match!’ as one happy father told me. And many fathers feel that the time passes a great deal faster than they had imagined. While the actual birth was taking place, they forgot both their surroundings and the camera they had brought with them. In one man’s case, being asked by the midwife to cut the baby’s navel cord was the high point of the experience, something which he kept returning to afterwards. Fears have sometimes been expressed that men may have lasting negative impressions of participation in the birth of their child. It has been claimed, for example, that a man’s sexual desire for his partner might be affected negatively if he is exposed to the sight of his partner in such a physically vulnerable situation. Perhaps this may happen sometimes, but in my conversations with young fathers, I find that they are often more worried about what might happen to their wives’ private parts and sexual desire after giving birth. And the commonly encountered ‘difficult’ experiences of birth tend to fade away as far as men are concerned, just as they usually do for women. Studies from the UK have confirmed that a majority of couples appreciate the opportunity for the father to be present at a birth and the more stages at which he is present, the higher the satisfaction.ll Those who have attended the birth have been found to have a more positive attitude to the infant, and the women have reported less pain and required less medication.12,13 One randomised, controlled study found that the presence of a companion shortened the duration of women’s labour.14 To sum up, both men and women typically say that joint participation in the events and feelings of childbirth is the greatest experience they can have as human beings together. But if this is to be achieved, it is clearly essential that the man also has a reasonable chance to prepare himself, both for the birth and for fatherhood.15
EXPERIMENTS WITH FATHERHOOD TRAINING GROUPS The antenatal classes which were introduced in Sweden in the late 1970s were open to both pregnant women and their partners, and were led almost exclusively by women. It took almost another decade before the needs of expectant fathers were taken sufficiently seriously to result
Reproductive Health Matters, No 7, May 1996
in the setting up of separate groups for fathers in some parts of the country. For this, it was men from various professional backgrounds who took the initiative, for example, some male midkves thought that men should have their own form of preparation for childbirth and, accordingly, they established special groups for fathers. I was personally interested ln men’s expectations, feelings and thoughts, not merely prior to a birth but also at the prospect of fatherhood. Several experimental training programmes for fathers started in and around Stockholm, the object being to increase men’s utilisation of their parental leave entitlement. Since 1974, fathers have had an opportunity to receive compensation for an optional period during which the child’s mother normally returns to her paid employment. Throughout the 198Os, the proportion of men who utilised this option remained steady at around 25 per cent (more than 90 per cent of fathers make use of a special period of leave two weeks after the mother returns from the maternity ward). The experiment showed that after participation in special programmes for fathers, a higher proportion of men took a longer period of fathers’ leave. My own contacts with fathers took place on a single occasion two months prior to the anticipated date of childbirth. My overall assessment of the usefulness of these evening sessions was highly positive, despite the fact that many of the participants had previously been doubtful about the benefits. The men primarily appreciated two things: talklng to other men about matters that they had been thinking about but had not put into words; and confirmation that most other men have been thinking and feeling much the same way about the prospect of childbirth and fatherhood. This experience confirmed that men had very rarely discussed these issues with other men, although they might have talked about such matters with their partners.
GOVERNMENTAL
TRAINING PROJECT
FOR FATHERS
As a result of a proposal made by the Government, the Swedish Parliament decided in 1994
that fathers were automatically entitled to 30 days’parental leave. If the father does not wish to utllise his entitlement, it cannot be utilised by the mother. This was yet another way of officially denoting the importance of contact at an early stage between fathers and their children. In 1994, the Swedish Government decided to set up an experimental training project for fathers in four county council areas and in one major city in Sweden, and to train men to lead these fathers’ groups. The idea was that non-professional men, working in pairs on a voluntary basis, would be attached to maternity welfare centres to organise their own fathers’ groups, in addition to other group activities for parents. Fathers are offered a chance to meet once before the birth of the child, and two or three times afterwards. The father-trainers are selected by the midwives concerned, on the basis of personal knowledge, using simple criteria like general suitability, interest in matters concerning parenthood and personal experience of having had at least one child of their own. They receive a few days’ training and ongoing guidance every four to six weeks. They usually have other full time jobs and are supposed to arrange the fathers’ meetings in their own and the other fathers’ free time. They receive some financial remuneration, on an hourly basis. They normally arrange one or two group meetings per month. Father-training is now well established in all the areas selected for the experiment. Only a few of the almost 100 father-trainers who have participated dropped out ln the first year. So far, experiences have varied considerably. Many expectant fathers have reservations about joining an exclusively male group ‘just to tall<‘. Many of them consider that it is much easier to participate in mixed parents’ groups, where solidarity with their pregnant partners is an important factor. The reasons for attending a group meeting for their own sake are much less obvious to many of them so far. If ten men have been invited to participate in a meeting, attendance may range from zero to ten. Normally, there will be three or four who participate. The father-trainers find that they have to telephone reluctant fathers-to-be to induce them to participate in the group. It is also clear that the attitude of the midwives to the fathers’ groups is important, since the midwives are
Swedin
often responsible for the main promotion and recruitment activities. On the other hand, those who do take part are extremely positive and pleased afterwards. This was felt to be the most important reason for continuing - that some men do find it worthwhile to discuss traditional female domains in life in exclusively male company, including pregnancy, having children and forming a family. When the project is fully evaluated in the spring of 1996, we shall decide whether the current structure is the most appropriate or whether it would be better to concentrate on mixed parents’ groups with a man and woman working together as leaders. In any event, I am convinced that Swedish father-trainers are pioneers in a field which involves fundamental changes in how men regard themselves and their role in life.
THE POSSIBLE BENEFITS OF TRAINING FOR FATHERS Enormous adjustments are required when a couple become a family of three. Although I have worked for more than 20 years with parents-tobe and those who have just had a child, I am still frequently surprised at how unprepared most couples are when faced with this change. Their relationship was probably based on a reasonable measure of equality when they were on their own, but after the arrival of a child the situation becomes much more complex. Figure 1 illustrates how, with the arrival of a child, the mother’s relationship with her newly Figure 1.
I I
I I \
30
born child may dominate her life, while her time for herself and the energy to meet any other adult ‘we-needs‘ declines sharply. A similar change occurs for the father but to a much smaller extent. After two weeks at home following the mother’s return from the maternity ward, he normally goes back to work even if, as the day passes, he may be longing to get home earlier to be with his child and his partner. This inequality, and the differences in focus, involvement and degree of need-satisfaction may easily become critical and lead to conflicts. There is considerable experience today which indicates that childbirth, instead of being a positive high point in a relationship, can lead to a breakdown in relations. There are far too many ‘newly-born’ families which split up soon after the baby comes along.16 We also know from experience that, in this situation, there is a considerable risk of fathers losing contact with their children. Swedish institutions for family counselling have found that one third of men who are separated from their families after the birth of a child have no contact with the child one year later. The same situation is reported from France.17 I am convinced that we have a great deal to gain if the parents of young children are better prepared for the emotional complications which may in fact occur when two become three. At the moment, ordinary parents’ groups tend to focus on childbirth, while less time is devoted to parenthood. Experience of experimental fathers’ groups is that discussion is focused to a much greater extent on the father’s relationship with the mother and the newborn baby, the father’s own life, and the subject of sexuality and desire. It appears that until the delivery takes place, most men fall to realise that nothing will be the same as before, particularly the relationship with their partner. I am also convinced that discussion with other men about how to cope with being ‘number two’, managing to wait until the worst of their partner’s tiredness has passed, and in the meantime establishing a relationship with their child, has a preventive effect on subsequent marital problems. It could also pave the way for a new dialogue between a man and woman and bring them closer together. But for this to be possible, the woman must also understand the importance of sharing the child with her partner and of inviting him to enter into the new relationship.7 The attitude of female staff in the maternity
Reproductive
and child welfare services and in delivery and maternity wards is another important factor. In their uncertainty, it is easy for men to lose their nerve if they encounter unsympathetic or arrogant attitudes. The results would be infinitely more positive if three factors - the father’s longing for his child, support from the mother and support from professional personnel - could work together so that men exnanded their fatherhood roles: pressure on the woman as a mother who is supposed to satisfy all the child’s needs, would be dhninished; as a result she would also have a little more time for her own needs (eg. sleep); a woman who was less tired would find it easier to focus on herself and her ‘we-needs’ and find her way back to her relationship with her partner; the man would be more competent as a parent, with less risk of a sense of alienation; and last but not least, the child would have greater access to both its parents.
Health Matters, No 7, May 1996
SHARING PARENTHOOD As a result of information campaigns and discussions, both in parents’ groups and in the media, the proportion of men who have taken parental leave has risen from 25 per cent in the late 1980s to over 40 per cent in the 199Os, though still with an over-representation of middle-class men.‘s The most important reason stated by men who have decided to stay at home for a time with their children has been that they wanted greater contact with them. As one father put it: ‘I want to have a better relationship with my children than I feel I had with my own father.’ The experience that men gain in caring for their children has many dimensions, and it affects most of them deeply.’ Some of their comments demonstrate that the ideas they have about themselves, their partners and their children are changing. ‘It
was much
tougher
‘Nothing gets ’
done!
than I I was
thought.. . . ’ going
to
iix
up
the
house.
31
z~ec~ellymanaged
i‘t,and in my OWNway too.’
~1was not irreplaceable at work! What is the most jmportant thing really.. . ? ‘It feels strange to have your day controlled by a child. ’ ‘The experience possessed.’
aroused feelings I didn’t think I
‘The baby turns to me just as ofien when it needs help. ’
‘Now I actually feel closer to my children than I ever was to my own father’
THENEWFATHERLINESS All human relationships can be described in terms of distance. Traditionally, women tend to prefer closeness and intimacy in their relationships, whereas men tend to appreciate a sense of affinity, while maintaining their distance and independence. Men often even have a fear of real nearness, a fear which restricts and hinders them from utilising their
entire emotional register. The current development in the direction of a fatherhood which involves a greater emotional closeness between father and child is the only possibility of reducing this fear in the long run, both for men who dare to try this out and, perhaps above all, for their sons. The important point is to have the courage to establish models in which fatherliness becomes compatible with intimacy and with manliness. Perhaps integrating these two attributes is a prerequisite for what we might term mature manliness.2,3,*5 Nevertheless, far more scientific evaluation is needed concerning the long term effects - on men, women and children, and also on society - of efforts in Sweden to bring fathers closer to their children from the child’s birth, thus creating a new framework for and balance within the modern family.
Note An earlier version of this paper was published in Men on Men: Eight Swedish Men‘s Views on Equality, Masculinity and Parenthood, Equality Affairs Division, Swedish Ministry of Health and Social AiYairs, Stockholm, 1995 and is reprinted with their kind permission.
References and Notes 1.
Bengtsson M, 1994. Fran fadersmakttill manligmaktoch modersdominans.Psykolog Tidningen. 19:9-11.
2. Chodorow N, 1978. The
Reproduction of Mothering. Psychoanalysis and the Sociology of Gender. University of California Press, California. 3. Badinter E, 1992. XY. De J’ldentiteMasculine. Editions Odile Jacob, Paris. 4. VBgerii D, 1992. Women, work and health in Sweden. Current
Sweden. 387. 5. Lamb ME, 1982. The Role of the
Fatierin Child Development. Wiley, New York. 6. Pruett KD, 1987. The Nurturing
Father: Journey toward the Complete Man. Warner Books, New York. 7. Nilsson A, 1992. Changes in
Parenthood. Experiences of
Shared ParentalLeave.
in the delivery room. Hospitals.
Malartorget 13, S-111 27 Stockholm, Sweden. Lipkin M and Lamb G, 1982. The couvade syndrome: an epidemiologic study. Annals
47:90.
ofInternal Medicine. 96. According
to Joan Raphael-Leff
(Psychological Process of Childbearing. Chapman and Hall, London 1991) the couvade ritual has been practised throughout the world and was described by Diodorus Siculus in 60 BC. Subject to local variations, it consists of simulation of pregnancy symptoms or childbirth. According to her, much of the ethnological literature has focused on couvade as a particular form of paternal acknowledgement. 10. Shu CY, 1973. Husband - father
11. Fraser CM, 1983. Selected perinatal procedures. Acta Obst. Gynaecol. Stand.. Suppl. 117: 13-14. 12. Greenberg M and Morris N, 1974. Engrossment-the newborn impact upon the father.
American Journal of Orthopsychiatty.44:520. 13. Henneborn WJ and Cogan R, 1975. The effect of husband participation on reported pain and probability of medication during labour and birth. Journal
of Psychosomatic Research. 19:215. 14. Sosa R, 1980. The effect of a supportive companion on perinatal problems, length of labour and mother-infant interaction. New England
Journal ofMedicine. 303:597.
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15. Swedin G, 1995. Expecting fathers: preparation for childbirth and parenthood. Journal ofPsychosomatic Obstetrics and Gynaecology. 16: Suppl. 1. 16.Napier AY, 1988. The Fragile Bond: In Search of an Equal,
Intimate and Enduring Marriage. Harper and Row,
New York. 17. Leriton H and Villeneuve-Gokalp C, 1988. Enqu&e supla situation des familles.Population et
new fatherhood: experiences from shared parental leave by 419 men and women in Sweden. Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics and Gynaecology. 13:
Suppl. 1.
Soci&&. 220.
18. Swedin G, 1992. Towards a
RBSUM~ Depuis quelques dizaines d’annbes, la vie familiale a beaucoup changC en S&de, comme dans le reste du monde industrialis6; 80 pour cent des m&es de jeunes enfants exercent une activit6 lucrative en dehors de leur foyer, ce qui oblige de plus en plus les p&es A prendre leur part des travaux domestiques. Encouragbs par l’octroi &un congC parental pay& les futurs p&es ont commencC 21s’occuper plus t6t et plus activement de leur descendance. Pour rkpondre aux besoins de ceux qui veulent se p&parer 5 leur nouveau r61e, le Gouvernement a ouvert des classes expkrimentales de formation paternelle. L’article 6tudie les condquences de cette faGon inkiite de considbrer la paternitb, et retrace l’expkience de quelques groupes de formation paternelle; il examine aussi comment, en dkeloppant leurs compktences parentales, les hommes se rapprochent de leurs enfants.
RBSUMB Al igual que el resto de1 mundo industrializado, Suecia ha vivid0 en las Cltimas dkadas grandes cambios en cuanto a la vida familiar. Hoy en dia, el ochenta por ciento de las madres con hijos pequefios tienen empleos remunerados fuera de1 hogar, lo que ha llevado a mayores exigencias para que 10s padres se encarguen de una mayor proporci6n de las labores dom6sticas. Alentados por la opci6n de1 permiso paterno remunerado, 10s futuros padres han comenzado a participar m5s activamente desde las primeras etapas de la paternidad. El gobierno ha iniciado curses experimentales de capacitacibn para futures padres, con elfin de cubrir las necesidades de 10s hombres que se preparan para la paternidad. Este ensayo explora las consecuencias de esta cambiante visi6n de la paternidad, comparte algunas experiencias de 10s grupos de capacitaci6n para padres, y muestra c6mo est5 aumentando la habilidad paterna en la crianza de 10s hijos, acerc5ndolos m&s Cstos.
BECAME a father for the first time in 1978, when I was 36. It became a decisive event in my life, and that includes my professional life. By then, I had acquired considerable experience as a specialist in gynaecology and childbirth. I felt that I was reasonably well prepared for what was about to happen, but my feelings, ideas and thoughts were nonetheless very different from what I had imagined. I discovered that I had not actually talked about these matters with anyone except my wife, especially not about the period of pregnancy. Further, while it had been easier to discuss the experience of childbirth with others, most of this discussion was about external, concrete events, and not so much about what was happening to me, and within me. If I - who had had hundreds of professional conversations with women and men who were about to have children or who had already had children - felt like this, how much more strange must it have felt for all those men who did not have my professional background? In my encounters with couples, I had spontaneously turned to the women as they were clearly the most important persons. Only occasionally did I focus directly on the men, and this also applied to emotional questions, fears, expectations, anxiety and happiness prior to a birth and parenthood. Yet I am a man myself. Why
wasn’t it natural for me also to be able to ‘see’ men, on their own terms? Eventually, I began to understand that there were several aspects to these difficulties and inner obstacles. Traditionally, the care of mothers and children is a female culture and discussions on pregnancy and birth assume a women’s perspective and employ women’s language. As a man - despite my profession - I did not have the words or the language for men’s feelings and experiences in connection with childbirth and fatherhood. It took me a long time - the birth of my three children and their childhood -before I managed to get over my doubts and insecurity, both as an individual and as a doctor, allowing my curiosity as to how other men think about and experience these matters to reassert itself.
OF FATHERHOOD Most cultures and societies today still maintain a strongly patriarchal tradition in which fathers have been the heads of families, exercised authority, and made the decisions. However, with men no longer the sole providers in the family, the clear division of male and female parental responsibilities is changing dramatically. Most women consider it self-evident and an essential fact of life that they should contribute to the family economy in addition to ful6lling their
NEWPATTERNS
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Swedin
duties as mothers. Further, single parenthood has increased sharply in recent decades in the industrialised world. Fatherhood has been weakened, marginalised or completely ceased to exist, with considerable and sometimes tragic consequences for children, men and women. In Sweden, too, developments in recent decades have led to a striking change in the balance between motherhood and fatherhood. Comparative studies over time have shown how parental roles, from the child’s perspective, have shifted from the traditional pattern of the 1950s to the father of the 1980s and 1990s who withdraws and hands over power and decisions to the mother.’ Is this lack of willingness to take responsibility a reaction to their own fathers’ traditional, authoritarian parenthood? In 7’he Reproduction of Mothering, the American social psychologist Nancy Chodorow describes the possible consequences of the fact that children are almost exclusively cared for and brought up by women in most societies. She believes that single-sex adult environments tend to increase polarisation and conflicts between the female and the non-female aspects of children’s personalities, because the positive aspects of masculinity are largely invisible to them for the greater part of the day. This, in her view, ultimately results in a continuing need on the part of a patriarchal society to control and disparage women and all things feminine - an expression of men’s latent need to ‘take revenge’ on their dominant mothers, child-minders or nursery school teachers who exercised control over them when they were children.* Chodorow concludes that in the long run, only a closer and more emotional contact between fathers and children from early childhood can break this detrimental circle. In a recent comprehensive overview of studies from both the psychological and sociological as well as ethnological fields, Elisabeth Badinter comes to the same conclusion.3
SHARED MODEL Since the ture has deavours
PARENTHOOD:
THE SWEDISH
196Os, a more democratic family strucbeen developing, for example in ento achieve a more equal relationship
between men and women, and between parents and children. Perhaps this applies in particular to
26
Scandinavia, and is no doubt a direct result of the feminist struggle for increased rights and opportunities for women on a broad front. Signs of a gradual change in the attitudes of men and fathers in the 1970s probably arose from external pressures from their womenfolk, who were collapsing under the combined burdens of motherhood and paid employment. By the late 197Os, more than 80 per cent of Swedish mothers of small children had jobs outside the home.4 This presumably explains why ‘the new fatherhood’ started to emerge during this period. Another factor which has probably been important is that for 50 years, the Social Democratic Party built a welfare state based on democratic values, justice and equality based on ideas that were also applied to family policy. The unique social insurance reform of 1974, which entitled Swedish fathers as well as mothers to take paid parental leave to take care of their newborn children, was implemented and justified primarily in terms of the principle of equality. The political indications were clear looking after children was a matter for both parents, right from the start
Paid Parental Leave: The Swedish Legislation Since 1974, Swedish mothers and fathers have had the right to take paid parental leave, but not at the same time. Initially both mother and father were paid 90 per cent of the mother’s income for a total period of 180 days. In 1986 the period of paid leave was increased to 360 days and fathers were paid 90 per cent of their own income when they took time off. In 1995 and 1996 the money paid out was reduced first to 80 per cent and then to 75 per cent of the mother’s and father’s income, respectively. To encourage both parents to take parental leave, 30 days of the paid leave are now reserved for the mother and 30 days reserved for the father. These 60 days are not transferable between the parents but the rest of the leave is. To further encourage both parents to take leave, these 60 days are better paid than the rest; parents get 90 per cent of their respective income for these days.
Reproductive
It was hoped that if men actively shared this highly traditional female task, they would acquire a greater understanding of what women did in the home, would be more willing to participate in women’s tasks, and would have closer contact with their children. A lively public debate followed the passage of this reform, largely dominated by women. Traditional child psychology, almost exclusively based on studies of the relationship between mother and child, stressed the importance of women in a child’s first year of life. Among other things, fears were expressed about the possible negative consequences for the child if the father stayed at home and became the child’s principal source of care during part of that year. Modern research, however, has been able to refute these fears.5 It has been shown that close contact with the father in the early years of a child’s life probably extends the child’s early social and emotional repertoire.” Children form ties with people who fulfll their need for human contact. The presence and accessibility of the father would naturally tend to make him one of the child’s most important objects of love, along with the mother. Interviews with men (and women) who have decided to share their parental leave have also demonstrated the considerable and radical importance for men of entering into a primary care relationship with their children at an early stage.7
MEN’S EXPERIENCE OF PREGNANCY Research on men’s parental roles from historical, sociological and ethnological perspectives has been done in both industrialised and developing countries.5 However, more detailed studies of experiences, thoughts and feelings concerning childbirth and parenthood among men who are about to become fathers are less common. Interviews carried out in Sweden in 1992 and the experience of maternity care personnel indicate that expectant fathers prepare themselves psychologically for the birth of a child in much the same way as pregnant women do.7 There has been a rapid change in attitudes towards male participation in pregnancy and childbirth in the past few decades. The reactions and feelings of the individual man are, of course, dependent on a variety of factors, including the age of the partners, whether both partners want
Health Matters, No 7, May 1996
the baby, the length and quality of the relationship and whether they have experienced pregnancy before. The men I have met in my work and whom I describe in this paper are men who wanted their children and were mostly first-time fathers. When men in this situation are asked about their fears and hopes for their child-to-be, they often express happiness at being able to start a family, and say they are looking forward to developing in a purely personal sense as a result of fatherhood. Many men also express anxiety, however, often about their ability to fultll this new function. In a remarkable number of cases, they also express fears about their partner’s situation - how she will manage the delivery or the period immediately after birth, and whether he will be able to give her adequate support. Concerns about what things will be like in the family, and whether he will be able to handle the financial responsibility when the family acquires another member, also emerge. Men often describe starting projects which are similar to the male animal’s ‘preparation of the nest’: renovating the house or buying a new one, trading in the car for a larger model, etc. Most expectant fathers give a firm impression that they have great respect for the situation their partners are facing, and they often express feelings of admiration and affection. Yet when both partners are present, it often becomes clear, unfortunately, that the wife is unaware of her partner’s warm and positive feelings about her. At home, it seems, he seldom puts his feelings into words. Many expectant fathers even experience physical changes themselves. These have been referred to as couvade symptoms, in accordance with an ethnological description of the rites which a father must observe in connection with the birth of a child.a The symptoms can include nausea, headaches and indigestion, and they normally disappear as soon as the child is born.g
EXPECTANT FATHERS AT CHILDBIRTH Sweden is one of the first countries where a tradition has developed of offering expectant fathers the opportunity to be present when their child is born. This started in the late 195Os, and ten years later it had become the rule. In
Sweden and elsewhere, this male encroachment on the female world was regarded with considerable suspicion, particularly by personnel in chlldbirtb and maternity wards.lO In many cases, there were attempts to minimise the father’s contacts with his wife and child on grounds of ‘hygiene’. Well into the 197Os, the role of the partner was restricted to that of a passive observer. If any complication occurred in connection with the delivery, he was often asked to leave the room. Maternity wards often had strict visiting hours for fathers. The newly born child was still presented to the father from behind a glass panel. The temerity required to question traditional medical routines probably developed in parents’ groups, which were being established all over Sweden during this period, following a recommendation made by Parliament. Today many doctors and midwives think that it is an advantage if the man can follow the entire process of childbirth, so that he has a true picture of what happened. In the case of complications, the man is automatically asked whether he wishes to stay and be with his partner. It is believed that his presence may have a positive effect on the woman’s adjustment process and recovery. These changes have certainly been more a matter of parents’ expressed wishes than any awareness on the part of hospital staff. What are men’s own experiences of being present at the birth of their child? Feelings prior to birth are often a matter of a positive tension before a major experience, but also frequently of anxiety for the father’s personal role in the delivery ward. ‘How will I be able to make a specific contribution, and not merely sit and wait?’ is one common reaction. ‘What will it feel like to sit on one side, without being able to do anything if my wife finds things too difficult?’ is another. But there are frequently also ideas about the positive aspects of being able to support and assist, merely by being present - something which most men and women regard as perfectly obvious in Sweden today. Men’s accounts of the childbirth process are often surprisingly verbal, detailed and full of feeling. ‘That was the most exciting thing I’ve ever experienced!’ is one typical response. ‘Like watching a football match when the home team gets in a goal off the post in the last minute of the 28
match!’ as one happy father told me. And many fathers feel that the time passes a great deal faster than they had imagined. While the actual birth was taking place, they forgot both their surroundings and the camera they had brought with them. In one man’s case, being asked by the midwife to cut the baby’s navel cord was the high point of the experience, something which he kept returning to afterwards. Fears have sometimes been expressed that men may have lasting negative impressions of participation in the birth of their child. It has been claimed, for example, that a man’s sexual desire for his partner might be affected negatively if he is exposed to the sight of his partner in such a physically vulnerable situation. Perhaps this may happen sometimes, but in my conversations with young fathers, I find that they are often more worried about what might happen to their wives’ private parts and sexual desire after giving birth. And the commonly encountered ‘difficult’ experiences of birth tend to fade away as far as men are concerned, just as they usually do for women. Studies from the UK have confirmed that a majority of couples appreciate the opportunity for the father to be present at a birth and the more stages at which he is present, the higher the satisfaction.ll Those who have attended the birth have been found to have a more positive attitude to the infant, and the women have reported less pain and required less medication.12,13 One randomised, controlled study found that the presence of a companion shortened the duration of women’s labour.14 To sum up, both men and women typically say that joint participation in the events and feelings of childbirth is the greatest experience they can have as human beings together. But if this is to be achieved, it is clearly essential that the man also has a reasonable chance to prepare himself, both for the birth and for fatherhood.15
EXPERIMENTS WITH FATHERHOOD TRAINING GROUPS The antenatal classes which were introduced in Sweden in the late 1970s were open to both pregnant women and their partners, and were led almost exclusively by women. It took almost another decade before the needs of expectant fathers were taken sufficiently seriously to result
Reproductive Health Matters, No 7, May 1996
in the setting up of separate groups for fathers in some parts of the country. For this, it was men from various professional backgrounds who took the initiative, for example, some male midkves thought that men should have their own form of preparation for childbirth and, accordingly, they established special groups for fathers. I was personally interested ln men’s expectations, feelings and thoughts, not merely prior to a birth but also at the prospect of fatherhood. Several experimental training programmes for fathers started in and around Stockholm, the object being to increase men’s utilisation of their parental leave entitlement. Since 1974, fathers have had an opportunity to receive compensation for an optional period during which the child’s mother normally returns to her paid employment. Throughout the 198Os, the proportion of men who utilised this option remained steady at around 25 per cent (more than 90 per cent of fathers make use of a special period of leave two weeks after the mother returns from the maternity ward). The experiment showed that after participation in special programmes for fathers, a higher proportion of men took a longer period of fathers’ leave. My own contacts with fathers took place on a single occasion two months prior to the anticipated date of childbirth. My overall assessment of the usefulness of these evening sessions was highly positive, despite the fact that many of the participants had previously been doubtful about the benefits. The men primarily appreciated two things: talklng to other men about matters that they had been thinking about but had not put into words; and confirmation that most other men have been thinking and feeling much the same way about the prospect of childbirth and fatherhood. This experience confirmed that men had very rarely discussed these issues with other men, although they might have talked about such matters with their partners.
GOVERNMENTAL
TRAINING PROJECT
FOR FATHERS
As a result of a proposal made by the Government, the Swedish Parliament decided in 1994
that fathers were automatically entitled to 30 days’parental leave. If the father does not wish to utllise his entitlement, it cannot be utilised by the mother. This was yet another way of officially denoting the importance of contact at an early stage between fathers and their children. In 1994, the Swedish Government decided to set up an experimental training project for fathers in four county council areas and in one major city in Sweden, and to train men to lead these fathers’ groups. The idea was that non-professional men, working in pairs on a voluntary basis, would be attached to maternity welfare centres to organise their own fathers’ groups, in addition to other group activities for parents. Fathers are offered a chance to meet once before the birth of the child, and two or three times afterwards. The father-trainers are selected by the midwives concerned, on the basis of personal knowledge, using simple criteria like general suitability, interest in matters concerning parenthood and personal experience of having had at least one child of their own. They receive a few days’ training and ongoing guidance every four to six weeks. They usually have other full time jobs and are supposed to arrange the fathers’ meetings in their own and the other fathers’ free time. They receive some financial remuneration, on an hourly basis. They normally arrange one or two group meetings per month. Father-training is now well established in all the areas selected for the experiment. Only a few of the almost 100 father-trainers who have participated dropped out ln the first year. So far, experiences have varied considerably. Many expectant fathers have reservations about joining an exclusively male group ‘just to tall<‘. Many of them consider that it is much easier to participate in mixed parents’ groups, where solidarity with their pregnant partners is an important factor. The reasons for attending a group meeting for their own sake are much less obvious to many of them so far. If ten men have been invited to participate in a meeting, attendance may range from zero to ten. Normally, there will be three or four who participate. The father-trainers find that they have to telephone reluctant fathers-to-be to induce them to participate in the group. It is also clear that the attitude of the midwives to the fathers’ groups is important, since the midwives are
Swedin
often responsible for the main promotion and recruitment activities. On the other hand, those who do take part are extremely positive and pleased afterwards. This was felt to be the most important reason for continuing - that some men do find it worthwhile to discuss traditional female domains in life in exclusively male company, including pregnancy, having children and forming a family. When the project is fully evaluated in the spring of 1996, we shall decide whether the current structure is the most appropriate or whether it would be better to concentrate on mixed parents’ groups with a man and woman working together as leaders. In any event, I am convinced that Swedish father-trainers are pioneers in a field which involves fundamental changes in how men regard themselves and their role in life.
THE POSSIBLE BENEFITS OF TRAINING FOR FATHERS Enormous adjustments are required when a couple become a family of three. Although I have worked for more than 20 years with parents-tobe and those who have just had a child, I am still frequently surprised at how unprepared most couples are when faced with this change. Their relationship was probably based on a reasonable measure of equality when they were on their own, but after the arrival of a child the situation becomes much more complex. Figure 1 illustrates how, with the arrival of a child, the mother’s relationship with her newly Figure 1.
I I
I I \
30
born child may dominate her life, while her time for herself and the energy to meet any other adult ‘we-needs‘ declines sharply. A similar change occurs for the father but to a much smaller extent. After two weeks at home following the mother’s return from the maternity ward, he normally goes back to work even if, as the day passes, he may be longing to get home earlier to be with his child and his partner. This inequality, and the differences in focus, involvement and degree of need-satisfaction may easily become critical and lead to conflicts. There is considerable experience today which indicates that childbirth, instead of being a positive high point in a relationship, can lead to a breakdown in relations. There are far too many ‘newly-born’ families which split up soon after the baby comes along.16 We also know from experience that, in this situation, there is a considerable risk of fathers losing contact with their children. Swedish institutions for family counselling have found that one third of men who are separated from their families after the birth of a child have no contact with the child one year later. The same situation is reported from France.17 I am convinced that we have a great deal to gain if the parents of young children are better prepared for the emotional complications which may in fact occur when two become three. At the moment, ordinary parents’ groups tend to focus on childbirth, while less time is devoted to parenthood. Experience of experimental fathers’ groups is that discussion is focused to a much greater extent on the father’s relationship with the mother and the newborn baby, the father’s own life, and the subject of sexuality and desire. It appears that until the delivery takes place, most men fall to realise that nothing will be the same as before, particularly the relationship with their partner. I am also convinced that discussion with other men about how to cope with being ‘number two’, managing to wait until the worst of their partner’s tiredness has passed, and in the meantime establishing a relationship with their child, has a preventive effect on subsequent marital problems. It could also pave the way for a new dialogue between a man and woman and bring them closer together. But for this to be possible, the woman must also understand the importance of sharing the child with her partner and of inviting him to enter into the new relationship.7 The attitude of female staff in the maternity
Reproductive
and child welfare services and in delivery and maternity wards is another important factor. In their uncertainty, it is easy for men to lose their nerve if they encounter unsympathetic or arrogant attitudes. The results would be infinitely more positive if three factors - the father’s longing for his child, support from the mother and support from professional personnel - could work together so that men exnanded their fatherhood roles: pressure on the woman as a mother who is supposed to satisfy all the child’s needs, would be dhninished; as a result she would also have a little more time for her own needs (eg. sleep); a woman who was less tired would find it easier to focus on herself and her ‘we-needs’ and find her way back to her relationship with her partner; the man would be more competent as a parent, with less risk of a sense of alienation; and last but not least, the child would have greater access to both its parents.
Health Matters, No 7, May 1996
SHARING PARENTHOOD As a result of information campaigns and discussions, both in parents’ groups and in the media, the proportion of men who have taken parental leave has risen from 25 per cent in the late 1980s to over 40 per cent in the 199Os, though still with an over-representation of middle-class men.‘s The most important reason stated by men who have decided to stay at home for a time with their children has been that they wanted greater contact with them. As one father put it: ‘I want to have a better relationship with my children than I feel I had with my own father.’ The experience that men gain in caring for their children has many dimensions, and it affects most of them deeply.’ Some of their comments demonstrate that the ideas they have about themselves, their partners and their children are changing. ‘It
was much
tougher
‘Nothing gets ’
done!
than I I was
thought.. . . ’ going
to
iix
up
the
house.
31
z~ec~ellymanaged
i‘t,and in my OWNway too.’
~1was not irreplaceable at work! What is the most jmportant thing really.. . ? ‘It feels strange to have your day controlled by a child. ’ ‘The experience possessed.’
aroused feelings I didn’t think I
‘The baby turns to me just as ofien when it needs help. ’
‘Now I actually feel closer to my children than I ever was to my own father’
THENEWFATHERLINESS All human relationships can be described in terms of distance. Traditionally, women tend to prefer closeness and intimacy in their relationships, whereas men tend to appreciate a sense of affinity, while maintaining their distance and independence. Men often even have a fear of real nearness, a fear which restricts and hinders them from utilising their
entire emotional register. The current development in the direction of a fatherhood which involves a greater emotional closeness between father and child is the only possibility of reducing this fear in the long run, both for men who dare to try this out and, perhaps above all, for their sons. The important point is to have the courage to establish models in which fatherliness becomes compatible with intimacy and with manliness. Perhaps integrating these two attributes is a prerequisite for what we might term mature manliness.2,3,*5 Nevertheless, far more scientific evaluation is needed concerning the long term effects - on men, women and children, and also on society - of efforts in Sweden to bring fathers closer to their children from the child’s birth, thus creating a new framework for and balance within the modern family.
Note An earlier version of this paper was published in Men on Men: Eight Swedish Men‘s Views on Equality, Masculinity and Parenthood, Equality Affairs Division, Swedish Ministry of Health and Social AiYairs, Stockholm, 1995 and is reprinted with their kind permission.
References and Notes 1.
Bengtsson M, 1994. Fran fadersmakttill manligmaktoch modersdominans.Psykolog Tidningen. 19:9-11.
2. Chodorow N, 1978. The
Reproduction of Mothering. Psychoanalysis and the Sociology of Gender. University of California Press, California. 3. Badinter E, 1992. XY. De J’ldentiteMasculine. Editions Odile Jacob, Paris. 4. VBgerii D, 1992. Women, work and health in Sweden. Current
Sweden. 387. 5. Lamb ME, 1982. The Role of the
Fatierin Child Development. Wiley, New York. 6. Pruett KD, 1987. The Nurturing
Father: Journey toward the Complete Man. Warner Books, New York. 7. Nilsson A, 1992. Changes in
Parenthood. Experiences of
Shared ParentalLeave.
in the delivery room. Hospitals.
Malartorget 13, S-111 27 Stockholm, Sweden. Lipkin M and Lamb G, 1982. The couvade syndrome: an epidemiologic study. Annals
47:90.
ofInternal Medicine. 96. According
to Joan Raphael-Leff
(Psychological Process of Childbearing. Chapman and Hall, London 1991) the couvade ritual has been practised throughout the world and was described by Diodorus Siculus in 60 BC. Subject to local variations, it consists of simulation of pregnancy symptoms or childbirth. According to her, much of the ethnological literature has focused on couvade as a particular form of paternal acknowledgement. 10. Shu CY, 1973. Husband - father
11. Fraser CM, 1983. Selected perinatal procedures. Acta Obst. Gynaecol. Stand.. Suppl. 117: 13-14. 12. Greenberg M and Morris N, 1974. Engrossment-the newborn impact upon the father.
American Journal of Orthopsychiatty.44:520. 13. Henneborn WJ and Cogan R, 1975. The effect of husband participation on reported pain and probability of medication during labour and birth. Journal
of Psychosomatic Research. 19:215. 14. Sosa R, 1980. The effect of a supportive companion on perinatal problems, length of labour and mother-infant interaction. New England
Journal ofMedicine. 303:597.
ReproductiveHealth Matters, No 7, May 1996
15. Swedin G, 1995. Expecting fathers: preparation for childbirth and parenthood. Journal ofPsychosomatic Obstetrics and Gynaecology. 16: Suppl. 1. 16.Napier AY, 1988. The Fragile Bond: In Search of an Equal,
Intimate and Enduring Marriage. Harper and Row,
New York. 17. Leriton H and Villeneuve-Gokalp C, 1988. Enqu&e supla situation des familles.Population et
new fatherhood: experiences from shared parental leave by 419 men and women in Sweden. Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics and Gynaecology. 13:
Suppl. 1.
Soci&&. 220.
18. Swedin G, 1992. Towards a
RBSUM~ Depuis quelques dizaines d’annbes, la vie familiale a beaucoup changC en S&de, comme dans le reste du monde industrialis6; 80 pour cent des m&es de jeunes enfants exercent une activit6 lucrative en dehors de leur foyer, ce qui oblige de plus en plus les p&es A prendre leur part des travaux domestiques. Encouragbs par l’octroi &un congC parental pay& les futurs p&es ont commencC 21s’occuper plus t6t et plus activement de leur descendance. Pour rkpondre aux besoins de ceux qui veulent se p&parer 5 leur nouveau r61e, le Gouvernement a ouvert des classes expkrimentales de formation paternelle. L’article 6tudie les condquences de cette faGon inkiite de considbrer la paternitb, et retrace l’expkience de quelques groupes de formation paternelle; il examine aussi comment, en dkeloppant leurs compktences parentales, les hommes se rapprochent de leurs enfants.
RBSUMB Al igual que el resto de1 mundo industrializado, Suecia ha vivid0 en las Cltimas dkadas grandes cambios en cuanto a la vida familiar. Hoy en dia, el ochenta por ciento de las madres con hijos pequefios tienen empleos remunerados fuera de1 hogar, lo que ha llevado a mayores exigencias para que 10s padres se encarguen de una mayor proporci6n de las labores dom6sticas. Alentados por la opci6n de1 permiso paterno remunerado, 10s futuros padres han comenzado a participar m5s activamente desde las primeras etapas de la paternidad. El gobierno ha iniciado curses experimentales de capacitacibn para futures padres, con elfin de cubrir las necesidades de 10s hombres que se preparan para la paternidad. Este ensayo explora las consecuencias de esta cambiante visi6n de la paternidad, comparte algunas experiencias de 10s grupos de capacitaci6n para padres, y muestra c6mo est5 aumentando la habilidad paterna en la crianza de 10s hijos, acerc5ndolos m&s Cstos.