Socializing the uprooted: The case of mothers from South Lebanon (SLA families) residing in Israel

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International Journal of Intercultural Relations journal homepage: www.elsevier.com/locate/ijintrel

Socializing the uprooted: The case of mothers from South Lebanon (SLA families) residing in Israel Therese Dabbagh a,∗ , Dorit Roer-Strier b , Jenny Kurman c a b c

University of Haifa, Israel Department of Social Work and Social Welfare, The Hebrew University, Jerusalem, Israel Department of Psychology, University of Haifa, Israel

a r t i c l e

i n f o

Article history: Received 2 May 2013 Received in revised form 8 January 2014 Accepted 26 April 2014

Keywords: Uprooted Ethnicity SLA Parental strategies Socialization goals

a b s t r a c t This paper describes the socialization strategies of 12 uprooted Lebanese mothers in Israel and compares their strategies to those discussed in the immigration literature. Utilizing qualitative in depth interviews, we explore the maternal socialization goals and practices designed to preserve their culture of origin. Unlike immigrant parents who see themselves as needing to respond to their new culture, these uprooted mothers regard their exodus as temporary and fantasize about returning to Lebanon in the future. Thus, a major finding of this study is the socialization strategy that promotes the conservation of the past in a dream for the future. This strategy aims to promote the children’s loyalty and their internalizing the notion that they do not belong in Israel. The mothers also attach great importance to the national identity of their children and use five different socialization practices to preserve it: modeling, cultural heritage and religious socialization, group solidarity, confronting discrimination and marriage expectations. Recognition of the complexity of contextual variations in cultural changes that inform parents’ socialization strategies and practices for their children may prove to be crucial for any policy or interventions directed toward uprooted populations. © 2014 Elsevier Ltd. All rights reserved.

1. Introduction Cross-cultural transitions are potentially stressful events. Immigrants, refugees and uprooted families adjusting to a new country, families adjusting to a new setting in the same country, and indigenous families seeking to preserve their ethnic identity all experience such transitions. Cross-cultural transitions pose significant challenges for parents who are often faced with the complex task of parenting their children within a culture that is quite dissimilar from their culture of origin (Chau, 1992; Weaver, 1998). Within the context of cultural transition and change, parenting becomes a complicated interplay between enculturation (e.g., socialization within one’s own ethnic culture) and acculturation (e.g., socialization to the dominant culture). Much of the field of cross-cultural psychology has been concerned with understanding the socio-cultural adaptation of immigrant families. However, while the parenting of immigrant parents and the socialization of immigrant children has been studied in various contexts (Roer-Strier & Rosenthal, 2006), there is relatively little research on how uprooted families cope with the challenges of transition, and how these parents socialize their children. Uprooted families are defined as a group

∗ Corresponding author at: Allenby St., 68 A, Haifa, Israel. E-mail address: [email protected] (T. Dabbagh). http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2014.04.005 0147-1767/© 2014 Elsevier Ltd. All rights reserved.

Please cite this article in press as: Dabbagh, T., et al. Socializing the uprooted: The case of mothers from South Lebanon (SLA families) residing in Israel. International Journal of Intercultural Relations (2014), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2014.04.005

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of migratory individuals who moved involuntarily from one society to another, and who tend to see themselves as being in the new country temporarily (Berry et al., 1997). These families have lost what has been termed “the average expectable environment” (Hartmann, 1964), which can be most disorienting and disruptive for people challenged with integrating into a new culture. This paper aims to address the gap in the literature by exploring the socialization strategies of a group that defines itself as uprooted, namely, the families of the South Lebanon Army (SLA) who reside in Israel following their flight from Lebanon. The complexity of socio-political and cultural variables related to this group makes this an intriguing case study of socialization. The socialization literature suggests a distinction between the goals of socialization and the strategies and practices for achieving these goals. The literature defines socialization goals as the targets of the parents’ socialization, while the strategies of socialization refer to individuals’ preferences about how to enculturate or acculturate their children (Bhatia & Ram, 2001). Socialization practices comprise the actual behaviors used to reach these goals (Citlak, Leyendecker, Schölmerich, Driessen, & Harwood, 2008). Scholars suggest that despite years of living in the country of resettlement, many immigrant parents preserve their ideas about child rearing, as well as their expectations, norms, rules, and beliefs (LeVine, 1988; Xiong, Eliason, Detzner, & Cleveland, 2010). Other studies focus on changes in parental ideologies and practices informed by the interaction with the country of resettlement. Some researchers claim that core values may be resistant to change, while practical values are more susceptible to it (Roer-Strier & Rosenthal, 2001, 2006). In this paper we address both the strategies and practices of socialization to capture conservation and change in a population of uprooted families. 2. Conceptual considerations: acculturation and parental strategies of immigrants Central to the common definitions of acculturation is the notion of change over time, which occurs when two cultures have continuous and direct contact (Berry, 2005). In his most widely cited acculturation model (BAM), Berry (2005) identified four acculturation strategies: assimilation, separation, integration, and marginalization. Parents’ socialization goals and the strategies they adopt in situations of cultural transition that require acculturation vary greatly within any given society (Kagitcibai, 2005; Miller & Harwood, 2001). These goals and strategies should be characterized not only in relation to the underlying cultural scripts of their community, but also in relation to the complex demands of the ecological context (Kagitcibai, 2005; Roer-Strier & Rosenthal, 2006). In her family change model, Kagitcibai (2005) assumed that modernization and socio-economic changes in society influence the adaptive characteristics expected of an individual and that these changes lead people to adapt their socialization goals and strategies accordingly. Roer-Strier (2000) defined four types of socialization strategies that immigrant parents use in child rearing. These strategies vary in their effectiveness, depending on variables such as family characteristics, the cultural context, the attitudes of the socializing agents, and the extent of tolerance for pluralism in the host culture. The four strategies are: (1) The traditional “uni-cultural” style, which promotes conservation and is metaphorically called the kangaroo strategy. This strategy describes parents who guard against external social influences and favor cultural preservation; (2) The cuckoo strategy, which describes families that entrust their children to the formal and informal socializing agents of the host culture; (3) The chameleon strategy, which describes families that encourage their children to live peacefully with both cultures; and (4) The butterfly strategy, which describes parents who encourage their children’s rapid assimilation and undergo changes themselves in order to help their children adapt to the host culture. Berry (2005) did not discuss how immigrants socialize their children, but focused instead on their attitudes toward the host culture and various approaches to acculturation. However, there may be links as well as differences between his model and that of Roer-Strier. For example, parents who adopt the chameleon strategy may encourage their children to explore the values and behaviors of the new society, leading to the children’s integration. In contrast, those who adopt the cuckoo strategy may become, in Berry’s terms, marginalized or highly assimilated (Berry, 2005). We claim that there are many variables at different levels that interact with one another, influencing the acculturation process and the parents’ socialization strategies. One important variable may be the immigration status. 3. Uprooted families: an ambiguous adaptation While uprooted families are faced with many of the same issues and concerns of other families who experience cultural transitions, they also differ from them in several important ways. Their relocation is involuntary as they were unwillingly displaced from their home countries and pushed into alien environments. Uprooted families may have limited educational and linguistic resources that are needed in adapting to a new culture. In such cases, the impact of the stress of acculturation is likely to be greater (Poppitt & Frey, 2007). While most voluntary immigrants make a significant effort to adapt to the new environment, refugees and uprooted families focus on their eventual return to their native country. The concept of return, often termed the “myth of return” enables the uprooted to manage the pain of failing to integrate into the host society (Al-Rashhed, 1994; Dahya, 1973). Hence, the uprooted have ambiguous attitudes toward their exile. They seek to retain the social and cultural attributes of the past, whilst adjusting to their current needs in exile and aspirations for a future return to their homeland. Thus, they simultaneously adapt to and integrate into their new home, while continuing to maintain a belief in their ultimate return home. Uprooted parents who must socialize their children face unique challenges. Even though they are living in a culturally incongruent community, they are concerned about their reintegration into the social and cultural milieu of the Please cite this article in press as: Dabbagh, T., et al. Socializing the uprooted: The case of mothers from South Lebanon (SLA families) residing in Israel. International Journal of Intercultural Relations (2014), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2014.04.005

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place they regard as home (Warner, 1994). Thus, first-generation uprooted parents perceive themselves as having the sole responsibility for imparting cultural values to their children, while their children are exposed to socializing forces in the new culture of residence. Reproducing the traditional culture and establishing a cultural identity in their children becomes an important parenting goal for them (Dhruvarajan, 1993), especially for those who dream that their children will “return home.” Although cultural socialization occurs in all families, it is thought to be particularly challenging to ethnic minority families who regard themselves as uprooted, given that social stratification and negative group stereotypes complicate the child-rearing tasks they need to accomplish. In the case of the SLA population, national, cultural and religious identities as well as the political context create a complex framework for socialization.

4. Uprooted families: the case of the South-Lebanese in Israel In May 2000, a quarter of a century after Israel became entangled in Lebanon and 15 years after Israel declared a “security zone” covering 10 percent of the area of South Lebanon, the Israeli occupation of Southern Lebanon came to an end. The Israeli army’s retreat created trouble for its local collaborator – the South Lebanese Army. This militia, originally headed by former Lebanese Army Captain Saad Haddad, was a group of 5000 members who served as the proxy army of the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) during the Israeli occupation of Lebanon. The SLA fought with Israel against Hezbollah (literally meaning “Party of God”), a Shi’a Islamic resistance group. The SLA believed that they were serving Lebanese national interests by fighting Syrian interests, acts by Hezbollah they regarded as terrorism, and preventing the establishment of a Palestinian state in Lebanon. In the suddenness of the Israeli withdrawal, and fearing repercussions from Hezbollah, the SLA and their families sought refuge in Israel (Herzog, 2009). Despite efforts to grant a general amnesty to these soldiers allowing them to return to Lebanon, Hezbollah branded them as criminals and threatened them with long prison sentences. Consequently, about 6000 people streamed toward the border crossing-points into Israel (Zolfan, 2001). A substantial percentage of them were Christian, including Maronites, Greek Catholics and other confessional groups. Ideologically and institutionally, the state of Israel poses great difficulties for granting citizenship to non-Jewish immigrants, including asylum seekers (Kemp & Raijman, 2000). However, motivated by humanitarian concerns and commitment to the specific population of the SLA and their families, Israel created a new status of asylum seekers, granting these individuals asylum and later citizenship rights. The members of the SLA came from a community characterized by a collectivist cultural script. In South Lebanon they lived in small villages and adhered to in-group cultural values, cherishing interdependence between individuals, the extended family and the community (Joseph, 1994). As a traditional rural society, the family structure was patriarchal. In Israel, they were challenged by living in urban locations in a country with Western technological and industrial economy and education system. These challenges were exacerbated by discrimination. The most complex problem faced by the SLA is the problem of their ethnic and national identity leading to a double marginality. They refer to themselves as Lebanese, but they have no passport or Lebanese citizenship, which was revoked in the wake of Lebanon’s branding them as traitors. For Jews they are Arabs, thus may be viewed as enemies; for Palestinians and Palestinians who have Israeli citizenship they are traitors. Thus, they may be discriminated and rejected by their nation, by the Palestinians in Israel and by the Jewish majority. Socializing children under such circumstances is very challenging and complex. This paper studies socialization among SLA mothers and focuses on two research questions: (1) What are the socialization strategies of SLA mothers? (2) What practices do SLA mothers use to achieve their socialization goals?

5. Method In order to understand the participants’ perceptions, which are influenced by the environmental context and the subjective interpretations of the participants (Denzin & Lincoln, 2011; Patton, 2002), we chose the qualitative paradigm for this study. This paradigm is also effective in identifying intangible factors, such as social norms, gender roles, ethnicity and religion whose role in the research questions may not be readily apparent (Luborsky & Rubinstein, 1995).

5.1. Participants Twelve Lebanese women who belong to the SLA immigrant community and who reside in urban centers in the north of Israel participated in this study. Selection criteria were having children before leaving the homeland and raising these children (including those who were born later) in the receiving country. Mothers were recruited through a snowball method (Patton, 2002). All of the mothers came from small villages. They identified themselves as Lebanese and Christians, spoke Arabic as their first language and reported not being proficient in speaking Hebrew. The mothers reported that they go to church every week with all of their family members. They had lower-class jobs and worked as cleaners or salespeople in stores. All of their husbands had military backgrounds, which was their only work in Lebanon. In Israel five husbands were unemployed, four worked as security men, and three were taxi drivers. The children’s ages ranged between 9 and 24. They attended Jewish public schools and participated in church activities regularly. Table 1 presents the mothers’ demographic characteristics. Please cite this article in press as: Dabbagh, T., et al. Socializing the uprooted: The case of mothers from South Lebanon (SLA families) residing in Israel. International Journal of Intercultural Relations (2014), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2014.04.005

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Table 1 Participants’ demographic characteristics. Characteristics of interviewees (N = 12) Characteristic Age Range Mean (SD) Marital status Married Widowed Education Less than high school High school graduate Some college or technical education Number of children Range Mean (SD) Ages of children Range Mean (SD) Religion Christian Employment Mothers working Homemaker

Numbers/frequencies 35–45 42.25 (2.31) 11 1 1 8 3 1–3 1.75 (1.21) 9–24 17.50 (3.91) 12 10 2

5.2. Data collection: semi-structured interviews We collected the data using semi-structured interviews, which are designed to help understand the experiences of research participants and the meanings they attribute to those experiences (Seidman, 1991). In this study, open-ended questions were used to elicit rich details about the women’s immigration histories as well as their experiences and their perspectives about living in a small community in Israel. The interviews were conducted in Arabic, the participants’ native language, which enabled a deeper understanding of the participants’ experiences, and allowed subtle cultural nuances such as phrases and expressions to be understood. The interviews ranged from one hour to two hours, and were held in the participants’ homes. Participants were asked about their life and their parenting prior to their flight from Lebanon, the cultural transition, their current socialization goals, and the strategies and practices they use to achieve their socialization goals. 5.3. Research team The principal researcher is a Christian Palestinian citizen of Israel who was sensitized to the target population during her research focusing on SLA adolescents (Dabbagh, Roer-Strier, & Kurman, in preparation) and formed a trusted relationship with the families and informants such as priests and educators working with the community. The participants and the researcher shared a common religion (Christianity) and language (Arabic), which studies have determined facilitate rapport (Schroer, 2009). The co-authors of this paper specialize in immigration studies and in cross-cultural family dynamics and socialization. They took an active part in the data analysis and the writing of the paper. 5.4. Ethical considerations As explained before, the participants have many reasons to be suspicious of both Jewish and Palestinian members of the host society. As Foddy (1993) noted, in research situations like this one the researcher can pose a political threat to the respondents, asking for information that could be used to harm them. The researcher adopted the strategies proposed by Foddy such as using a casual, warm and friendly approach to ease tensions, minimizing the specificity of the information requested when the informant seemed threatened (e.g., questions about relationships with the families in Lebanon) and raising sensitive themes at the end of the interview process after trust was achieved. Confidentiality and anonymity were guaranteed to all of the interviewees. 5.5. Data analysis All of the interviews were recorded subject to the participants’ agreement and then transcribed and coded by the principal investigator. Following the approach of the qualitative paradigm, data collection and analysis were conducted simultaneously (Creswell, 2007). The principal investigator spoke all of the languages involved, so she translated the interviews that were conducted in Arabic into English. The researcher/translator role offers the researcher significant opportunities for close Please cite this article in press as: Dabbagh, T., et al. Socializing the uprooted: The case of mothers from South Lebanon (SLA families) residing in Israel. International Journal of Intercultural Relations (2014), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2014.04.005

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attention to cross-cultural meanings and interpretations, and potentially brings the researcher closer to the problems of meaning equivalence within the research process (Temple & Young, 2004). The data were read and re-read several times. Reflective notes, information about the families and memos written while reading through the documents were incorporated into the data files. Coding sheets (including quotations) were developed (Denzin & Lincoln, 2011). Entries with transcript page references were made so the researchers could identify and refer back to the context in which the statement was made. We synthesized the data by combining and grouping the codes, which were then classified together according to common characteristics into categories. Categories were mutually exclusive (Creswell, 2007), and themes were based on the grouping of the categories. One basic consideration during the research and analysis process was to meet the standards of rigor and trustworthiness, particularly the descriptive and interpretative validity of the data (Altheide & Johnson, 1994). Two of the researchers coded the interviews independently and then compared their coding. When there were differences in coding, the researchers discussed them with the third researcher until full consensus was reached. 6. Findings 6.1. The context of the socialization of SLA children in Israel SLA mothers described various environmental factors that directly affected their parenting experience in Israel, such as their experience of leaving Lebanon and exposure to violence, the living conditions after their flight to Israel and especially the loss of their status as citizens and becoming uprooted. They perceived the lack of cultural continuity and the sharp contrast between their traditional values and the values of Israeli society as being particularly challenging to the family’s patterns of life and gender roles. 6.1.1. Experience of leaving Lebanon All of the interviews were marked by the descriptions of the suffering due to the experience of becoming uprooted, especially the sudden separation from extended families. All of the participants reported that they still live with vivid memories linked to those experiences. The interviewees described undergoing a major trauma. According to all of the mothers, leaving their country was an abrupt and coerced change resulting from political factors and war. One mother explained, “Hassan Nasrallah (the leader of Hezbollah) began to threaten the South Lebanon Army: ‘If you do not leave, we will kill and butcher you.’ So we had to leave with the Israelis. We didn’t prepare for leaving and didn’t take anything with us.” Everything was sudden with no forewarning or preparation. All of the mothers regarded the lack of foreknowledge and the speed of the events as a plausible explanation of why they continued to have great difficulty in acculturating in Israel. 6.1.2. The conditions following the flight Although the members of the SLA acknowledged the value of the personal safety they enjoy in the host country, the experience of long waits—first to obtain temporary resident status, then Israeli citizenship—made them feel disappointed and angry. Unlike most immigrants to Israel who enjoy individual choice as to where to live and method of absorption, most SLA members were dispatched to specific locations. As one mother explained, “The Israeli authorities placed us primarily in northern towns and Jewish settlements, and in most places attempted to place no more than a few hundred in any one town.” The SLA in Israel also faced various impediments to finding work. One mother complained, “Most of all, my husband wanted to work in the field that he knew the best – security. In Lebanon, he was suitable to protect the state of Israel and now he can’t?” In addition, the payments from the IDF were heavily dependent on the militia members’ rank and their relationship with the IDF hierarchy. One reported, “While some senior officials received luxurious houses, the great majority was offered a small stipend for a period of a few years and were directed toward locations of job listings.” Another added, “As the amount and types of aid from the Israeli state to us decreased, we began to protest against the Israeli government. Unfortunately our situation is not much different from that of those who returned to Lebanon. Degradation - why? Starvation - why? Was our loyalty to Israel a crime that requires Israeli punishment, too? Is loyalty not a traditional Jewish value?” 6.1.3. Lack of cultural continuity All of the mothers moved physically away from what they described as a rural, tight-knit collective cultural setting and reported that they still remained there in their spirit. They all reported that they do not really see themselves as part of Israeli society and are rather separated from it. One mother noted, “We are 12 years here, and we still do not see ourselves as part of Israeli society. For me, there is always ‘Israel,’ and then there is ‘us.’” This group senses a threat to their core Lebanese values due to the large gap between the values of Israeli society and the values of the Lebanese minority. Lebanese mothers consistently noted that the encounter between the Lebanese Christian minority and the Jewish society involves two major differences that make it difficult. The first lies in what the interviewees regard as “weak interpersonal relationships” in the Jewish families and their giving priority to personal goals over family and community goals. The second difference concerns the preferred status of males in the Lebanese villages they came from compared to the more equal status and freedom for women in Israel. The importance of this issue becomes more crucial when talking about girls. As one mother stated, “It was after my first year in Israel when I realized that Israeli culture is different and strange to us. So I told my daughter, I Please cite this article in press as: Dabbagh, T., et al. Socializing the uprooted: The case of mothers from South Lebanon (SLA families) residing in Israel. International Journal of Intercultural Relations (2014), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2014.04.005

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don’t want you to be affected by your friends.” Another said, “In Israel, young women are expected to follow Western norms concerning dating and sexuality, which are not accepted in Lebanon.” 6.1.4. Nationality and religion All of the Lebanese participants defined their religious identity as “Christian” and their national identity as “Lebanese,” which distinguishes them from Israeli Arabs. This feeling of foreignness accompanied by the mothers’ sense of environmental obstacles and barriers within Israeli society and the lack of societal interest affect their socialization goals. “My children are add-ons in Israel, something that isn’t in its place. When I bring my daughter to school, even if she looks like her counterparts and speaks Hebrew fluently, I feel that they accept her but she doesn’t belong to this society. She is Christian and Lebanese, so she can feel that she belongs to every Western state but not to the Jewish state. Another shared, “Religion is a basic thing that differentiates us from the Israeli Jewish people.” 6.2. Socialization goals 6.2.1. Preservation of socialization goals A detailed analysis of all of the coded statements demonstrated that all of the mothers who participated in this study had the same goal, namely, to socialize their children so that in the future they can fit back into the country they left. The participants were very involved in Lebanese culture and talked constantly about returning to their homeland. Children are seen as the hope for a better life in the future. One mother said, “Our future isn’t here, we have nothing in Israel. We must return to our home, to Lebanon.” All of the mothers found little sense of purpose or meaning in their own lives compared to their hopes for their children. Mothers lived the myth of return through their children, and planned for them to leave the country, immigrate and live outside of Israel in the Lebanese Diaspora, with the prospect of returning to Lebanon. All of the Lebanese mothers emphasized, “We are not here to stay.” However, at the same time they noted, “We cannot and will probably not go back now. Our children are the hope.” Another interviewee claimed, “My children will not stay in Israel when they grow up, none of them. Everyone will travel and for sure we will go after them. We live far from our homeland, and we are homeless, so how can we live far from our children? It’s impossible.” Another mother stated, “I pray for my son to study in a big university overseas, to obtain citizenship so he can return to Lebanon to be with his family in his home. I dream that he will help us return to Lebanon.” The future is not perceived as a single unit. The children grow up with the distinction between the near future and the distant future. There is a clear separation between the near future in Israel and the distant future in the diaspora, which is an intermediate station on the way to Lebanon. Most mothers favored the socialization goals that would help their children fit back in the home country. The goal for the boy was to grow into a man “who is physically strong and can protect his family.” The girl was expected to grow into a woman “who obeys her husband and keeps the family’s honor.” Children were expected to preserve their original values and traditions such as “respect for parents and elders,” “helping others” and “loyalty and commitment to the family.” Mothers judged the new culture to be “disorderly” and “impolite.” A socialization goal for all of the children was to assert their cultural, national and religious identity. 6.2.2. Changes in socialization goals However, most mothers were open to discussing the need to adopt some of the values that served them in their perceived temporary residency in Israel. One mother stated, “Children must be brought up with contributions from our culture of origin as well as from Israeli society. I want them to take from Israeli culture just what enables them to survive here, but without copying what they see. They must receive a good education so they can work and support themselves financially.” Another added, “Israeli society is different in every respect from our society where we were born and grew up. Israeli values do not fit us but here my children haven’t their uncles and the big family to rely on. They are alone, and I must teach them to depend on themselves.” In sum, it was found that the participants’ socialization goals reflect a complex combination of preserving and retaining their culture and at the same time adopting the changes that serve them in what they regard as their temporary life in Israel. 6.3. Socialization practices The second aim of our study was to learn about the mothers’ socialization practices. We discovered that those practices reflected the socialization goals especially with regard to the preservation of traditional values. All of the mothers promoted the conservation of tradition and saw themselves as their children’s chief socializing agents. For these mothers, transmitting cultural values and racial identity was crucial and challenging. They attached great importance to the national identity of their children and engaged in various means to preserve it. When analyzing the socialization practices, five themes emerged: modeling, cultural heritage and religious socialization, group solidarity, confronting discrimination and marriage expectations. 6.3.1. Modeling The mothers believed that children live according to what they see. Therefore, they stressed the importance of the family as a coherent unit that supports its members and in which one member assists the other. The participants also emphasized Please cite this article in press as: Dabbagh, T., et al. Socializing the uprooted: The case of mothers from South Lebanon (SLA families) residing in Israel. International Journal of Intercultural Relations (2014), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2014.04.005

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respect toward elder family members. In addition, the mothers disseminated cultural and ethnic messages by watching Lebanese TV channels and by using online opportunities such as social networking. 6.3.2. Cultural heritage and religious socialization Cultural socialization includes an emphasis on national pride and language use, exposing children to positive aspects of their history, religion and heritage, embedding children in cultural settings and events, and having symbolic objects in the home. Cut off from their homeland and facing constant challenges in the host community, the mothers made the choice of recreating a familiar environment in their new surroundings that referenced special memories and places in their homeland. One mother exemplified this approach best when describing the practices she utilizes for reaching her socialization goals, “Arabic music performed, Lebanese flag flaunted and religious symbolism exhibited.” The mothers shaped the physical space to remind the children of “who we are.” As one mother claimed, “Children must be supervised, be shown their origins. They need to know how to keep the positive aspects of our society.” In addition, for all of the interviewees, the Lebanese church played a major role as an organization that focused on social coherence, religious and national identity. Regardless of their personal religious beliefs, most mothers stated that they attended church as a way to stay in touch with their culture and traditions through the relationships that they formed with the people around them. One mother explained, “At church, we remember God, our homeland, our customs, and we tell our children our stories that they must keep in their memory.” 6.3.3. Group solidarity The myth of returning to Lebanon and the tensions it creates solidify ethnic consciousness, solidarity and group identity. One mother summed it up: “I always emphasize the similarities between the Lebanese people that differentiate us from others. My son knows that his success brings honor not only to him and his family, but also to all our people. We do not forget who we are; we remember that we should all stay together and return to our country.” The mothers passed along strong messages to their children of what it means to be Lebanese that stressed a wide range of factors such as family values and the experience of the collective trauma brought on by the flight from Lebanon. 6.3.4. Confronting discrimination The mothers also helped their children prepare for their future encounter with discrimination. They tried to increase their children’s awareness of the future barriers they might face as a minority in the current and future host societies, and provide them with coping strategies for overcoming these barriers. One common parenting practice involved discussing situations that could be interpreted as discrimination. The mothers focused on the role of self-esteem and self-respect. One explained, “People in Israel would treat my kids like they were less, but they aren’t less, maybe they are more. I always tell them, if you don’t think that you are something, nobody else will think you are something.” 6.3.5. Marriage expectations The mothers also invested significant efforts in preparing their children to choose a Lebanese partner and insisted that their children marry within their own national and religious group. The purpose of such marriages is to build a family that can maintain their heritage, ensure their national and cultural survival, and preserve the opportunity to return to Lebanon. This preference applies to both boys and girls without distinction. Finally, there is the fear that intermarriage would challenge the continuation of their cultural values by changing the children’s values. 7. Discussion In this paper we outlined the context of the socialization of SLA children in Israel, examining the experience of the flight from Lebanon and the conditions following it, and the cultural differences and contextual challenges facing the mothers who fled. We discussed the mothers’ socialization goals, which revolved around the preservation of their heritage with some accommodations for the change in their situation. Finally, we identified five socialization practices including modeling, cultural heritage and religious socialization, group solidarity, confronting discrimination and marriage expectations that these mothers used to achieve their goals. When we compared the socialization strategies of uprooted mothers to those of immigrant mothers found in the literature, we discerned a new socialization strategy, what we call “future oriented repatriation.” 7.1. Coining a new socialization strategy: future oriented repatriation We maintain that this study makes an important contribution to our knowledge base about socialization strategies in coining the term “future oriented repatriation.” As is common with most uprooted individuals (Zetter, 1999), the SLA mothers believe their exodus is temporary, and they will return to Lebanon in the near future. They do not see Israel as their final destination during their period of exile. For these families, their goals are influenced by the changes they anticipate in the future. Although the timing of their return is very uncertain, they socialize their children with the prospect that the return itself is a real and tangible possibility. The mothers from South Lebanon lived in small villages and adhered to in-group cultural values, cherishing interdependence between individuals, the extended family and the community (Joseph, 1994). Please cite this article in press as: Dabbagh, T., et al. Socializing the uprooted: The case of mothers from South Lebanon (SLA families) residing in Israel. International Journal of Intercultural Relations (2014), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2014.04.005

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Thus, the socializing strategy of all of the mothers promotes the conservation of traditional values such as respect for elders, religious practices and community solidarity. This is unique parental strategy that informs their child-rearing practices. When comparing this new strategy to socialization strategies formerly described in the literature, we find that this strategy resembles the values conservation of the kangaroo strategy found in studies with immigrant parents who see themselves as the main socializing agents of their children and seek to preserve the socialization goals and practices of the country of origin (Roer-Strier, 2000). However, many immigrant parents who chose the Kangaroo strategy immigrate with the hope of finding in the new country a better future for their children. Therefore, they wish for their children to integrate into the receiving country while maintaining their former cultural values. The new future oriented repatriation strategy of the SLA mothers is not aimed at integration. It is based on the mothers’ experiences of pre-flight, flight and forced transition (Balgopal, 2000), leading to their strong desire to repatriate. This strategy can succeed only if their children internalize their mothers’ dream and deny their need to integrate into, belong to and be influenced by their new environment. While kangaroo parents do not plan to return to their homeland and instead create cultural enclaves in the host society, the SLA mothers’ future oriented repatriation strategy consciously socializes their children toward the goal of returning to their homeland, even if such a return does not take place for several generations. Similar to Al-Rasheed’s (1994) study of refugees, the uprooted mothers who relate the past to the future perceive themselves as the primary socializing agents of their children, preserving the culture of origin. The socialization strategy that concentrates on the future may serve as a way to cope with their losses (e.g., cultural continuity, extended family) by retaining fundamental elements of a lost cultural inventory of the past. The ambiguity of the loss may feed the illusion of continuity in the memories shared by family members (Rousseau, Rufagari, Bagilishya, & Measham, 2004). Socializing their children cultivates a sense of nostalgia for a lost life that was abruptly terminated but may be returned to their offspring. The mothers seem to select the most pleasant memories from their culture. Therefore, their version of this tradition is highly selective and idealized. This idealizing of the past emphasizes their current disorientation and underscores the desire to return. The discontinuity engendered by war and exile translates into a strategy that affirms tradition and thus, rebuilds continuity. Another aim of the strategy may be the conscious or unconscious choice of a method to avoid intergenerational conflicts. Zetter (1999) argues that the process of adaptation is not linear, and transition may be both forwards and backwards. Moving between the traditional and transitional world, the members of the SLA adopt strategies to reconstruct the most important parts of the past. For example, they reluctantly accept the need for transition and benefit from access to education and welfare resources in the host society, but resist other openness to new social networks (e.g., strive to marry within their ethnic group). Although an in depth study of the perceptions of the SLA children is beyond the scope of this paper, it is important to note that the authors’ interviews with the children (Dabbagh et al., in preparation) indicate that while they are aware of their mothers’ expectations and try to internalize the Lebanese identity and way of life, some are torn between their home environment and values and the Western-oriented, individualistic values and attitudes to which they are exposed through the formal educational system. Therefore, the effects of time, social and economic changes may make permanent return a tenuous prospect. Our study also reveals that mothers are not only aware of their children’s cultural struggles, but are also able to identify the specific challenges that their children experience (e.g., dating, stereotypes). Like other minorities, the mothers try to combat these influences by teaching their children how to cope with the demands of a society that devalues their heritage, nationality, and culture (McAdoo, 1995). If SLA children demonstrate a preference for being members of the dominant culture, they risk a conflict of loyalty between the values of their home and those of the surrounding social environment. Therefore, the mothers have the task of ensuring that their children maintain a positive view of their group. Although the SLA mothers regard preserving the past as a way to ensure the future for their children, at the same time they are also influenced by the socio-economic changes and lifestyle of their new environment. Therefore, they adapt some of the practical values to their socialization goals while preserving the core values that safeguard family and community cohesiveness and guide their interactions with the environment (Roer-Strier & Rosenthal, 2001). The mothers indicate that they understand their children’s need to be more independent in order to survive in the new society. This pattern resembles the pattern depicted in the psychological interdependence model proposed by Kagitcibai (2005). Kagitcibai argues that in cultures of relatedness, families who move from rural areas to urban areas display relationship patterns in which autonomy in child rearing is endorsed because of the functional value of individuation in an urban lifestyle; however, close family ties and relatedness are still valued (Kagitcibai, 2005). Our study proposes that this model may also exist when independence is the goal, and autonomy is reinforced by building the capacity for repatriation and surviving exile. This possibility should be further investigated in future research with other groups. 7.2. Context-informed study of socialization strategies Our study also underscores the need for future research to adopt a context-informed perspective. In addition to the focus on future repatriation, the active and intentional parenting socialization strategy described here was adopted to address the challenges of the multiple social, cultural and political contexts described in our literature review. The SLA families negotiate four realms of experience simultaneously: the mainstream, the minority, the uprooted and the Lebanese cultural experience. Consistent with previous findings (Garcia Coll, Meyer, & Brillon, 1995), the central issues for ethnic and minority SLA parents reflect a complex combination of group, individual, and contextually derived Please cite this article in press as: Dabbagh, T., et al. Socializing the uprooted: The case of mothers from South Lebanon (SLA families) residing in Israel. International Journal of Intercultural Relations (2014), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2014.04.005

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processes. Group processes are embodied in the traditional childrearing formulations on which parents draw according to their own ethnic background. Individual processes are reflected in acculturative effects that incorporate the impact of uprootedness and the nature of the contact with the dominant culture. Finally, contextually derived processes include sources of oppression derived from their ethnic, national and complex minority status, from being “the other.” The challenges facing the members of the SLA as a multifaceted minority are sudden and derive from a short history of uprootedness, segregation and perceived inferior status based on previous alliances and nationality exacerbated by the long political and military conflict between the Arabs, especially the Palestinians, and Israel. The parents in SLA families have formed beliefs about what it means to be a member of these groups and what behaviors and attitudes are reflective of these groups’ attitudes toward them. These beliefs influence their socialization goals and practices, particularly with regard to the strategies designed to prepare their children to confront discrimination and encourage their self-esteem and self-respect as part of promoting their resilience. While the four other socialization practices support the socialization goals, preparing children to confront discrimination is influenced by the context of political animosity toward the SLA community as a national and religious minority that suffers from double marginality. The SLA mothers are not alone in their focus on future repatriation. Similar to previous research on Asian Indian immigrants (Inman, Yeh, Madan-Bahel, & Nath, 2007), participants in our study acknowledge the need to emphasize specific values in their socialization practices such as strong ties to family and values related to marriage. The emphases on strong family ties and an appropriate marriage partner are based not only on the need to perpetuate the cultural values that are being challenged by the socio-cultural environment, but also serve as part of the dream to return to their homeland and regain the bonds of identity and culture that will end their sense of uprootedness. Finally, a context-informed research perspective calls for caution in using the terms ethnicity, culture, nationality, race and religion. Instead, researchers should focus on the self-definitions of the groups studied. The SLA participants use “national” socialization as a mechanism to transmit to their children their understanding of what it means to be a member of their group. Again, one can argue that the mothers’ practices identified in our research resemble previous research about racial socialization (Hughes, Rodriguez Smith, Johnson, Stevenson, & Spicer, 2006). However, in this specific case, race is not the main barrier. Jews and Arabs see themselves as belonging to the same race. In this case, the mothers actively take steps to boost their children’s pride as Lebanese by communicating messages about nationality and religion in a context that may discriminate against them. They hold on to national terms such as “Lebanese” that identify their country of origin to differentiate themselves from both the Israeli Jews and the Palestinians who have Israeli citizenship.

7.3. Limitations of the study While the study makes a contribution to the literature, it does have several limitations. First, the sample size of the SLA mothers is small. However, there is consistency across the data as evidenced by the dominant themes that were established. Second, our study focuses on the experiences of Lebanese mothers. It lacks the perspectives of additional family members involved in this process such as fathers and children. Moreover, for a better understanding of the socialization goals and practices of uprooted populations, further research on how uprooted parents from other groups socialize their children in exile is needed.

7.4. Implications While this study is not without limitations, it highlights the importance of examining the interactive processes by which ethnic, religious and national socialization occurs. Understanding the circumstances of the lives of such individuals plays a significant role in increasing communication between members of the educational and helping professions and the uprooted families, and facilitates consideration of the client’s context of origin. Recognition of how context informs parents’ socialization strategies and practices for their children may prove to be crucial for any policy directed toward uprooted populations. The participants noted they did not possess any prior knowledge about the host country’s norms and expectations that could have been helpful in understanding the new environment into which they were thrust. In addition, the interviews provided an opportunity for participants to reflect on their parenting experiences during a forced cultural transition. The mothers involved expressed a desire to receive feedback about the research results and asked whether similar activities might take place in the future, reflecting the need to express and reflect on this process as well as the desire to make their voices heard by an international audience.

Acknowlegements The authors wish to thank the SLA mothers who participated in this study. Please cite this article in press as: Dabbagh, T., et al. Socializing the uprooted: The case of mothers from South Lebanon (SLA families) residing in Israel. International Journal of Intercultural Relations (2014), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2014.04.005

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Please cite this article in press as: Dabbagh, T., et al. Socializing the uprooted: The case of mothers from South Lebanon (SLA families) residing in Israel. International Journal of Intercultural Relations (2014), http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2014.04.005