Supporting intentional reflection through collage to explore self-care in identity work during initial teacher education

Teaching and Teacher Education 86 (2019) 102920

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Supporting intentional reflection through collage to explore self-care in identity work during initial teacher education Loraine McKay Griffith University, Australia

h i g h l i g h t s
Understanding the role of self care is an important element of preservice teacher identity.
Arts-based reflection using collage supports new ways of thinking and feeling.
Personal and professional identity can be supported through arts-based reflection.

a r t i c l e i n f o

a b s t r a c t

Article history: Received 20 December 2018 Received in revised form 20 August 2019 Accepted 30 August 2019 Available online 6 September 2019

Given the complexity of teaching in the current educational climate, figuring out what it means to be a teacher needs to include conversations around how self-care fits within one's professional identity. Therefore, understanding the role of self-care should be an important element of initial teacher education and teacher identity work. This paper reports on a single case where making sense of past and present experiences helped to create a professional identity that included self-care. Prioritizing the exploration of identity work through arts-based reflection, alongside pedagogical knowledge and skill is also highlighted as a central concern of initial teacher education. © 2019 Elsevier Ltd. All rights reserved.

Keywords: Identity Self-care Reflection Preservice teacher Collage

1. Introduction Initial teacher education programs are becoming increasingly controlled in response to an education movement where measureable outcomes and box checking against a set of predetermined professional standards is increasingly defining teachers’ work (Forde, McMahon, Hamilton, & Murray, 2016; Loomis, Rodriguez, & Tillman, 2008). In Australia, initial teacher education programs are developed around the graduate level of The Australian Professional Standards for Teachers (AITSL, 2011; Clinton et al., 2015), which are promoted as “a public statement of what constitutes teacher quality” (AITSL, p. 2). The framework of the Standards provides claims to include “the knowledge, practice and professional engagement teachers require” across their careers (AITSL, p. 2). Clinton et al. (2015) report that the focus of the Standards in organisations, such as universities and education systems, had been

E-mail address: loraine.mckay@griffith.edu.au. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tate.2019.102920 0742-051X/© 2019 Elsevier Ltd. All rights reserved.

on accreditation of programs and registration of graduate teachers. Ditchburn (2015, p. 95) suggests that when “standards act as an outcome rather than a participatory process” there is a risk that teachers' professionalism can be reduced to a checklist of competencies. This view has the potential to devalue reflection during initial teacher education. A review by Clinton et al. (2015) on the use of the Standards in schools does show the focus of the Standards has been linked with teachers’ professional development, and increasingly used for self-reflection. However, the Standards themselves contain no direct link to reflective practice. Missing in this document is reference to learning skills related to reflection, despite these being essential for emotional regulation and teacher wellbeing (McKay, 2016), especially for beginning teachers who are moving into changing educational landscapes (Connell, 2013). Not surprisingly, alongside initial teacher education, teachers' work is also moving in a direction of control, with increasing surveillance and monitoring measures (Mockler & GroundwaterSmith, 2017). Teachers report reduced autonomy (Ryan & Bourke, 2013) and decreasing job satisfaction (Conklin, 2014) as outcomes

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of this change. High regulation of teaching presents itself as a backdrop at a time when classroom populations and students’ needs are more diverse than ever before due to social change and economic instability (Correa Gorospe, Martinez-Arbelaiz &
ndez-Olaskoaga, 2018). Add to the scene the high attrition Ferna rates of beginning teachers (Hong, 2010) and burnout, dissatisfaction and feelings of diminished trust in their professionalism that is reported by experienced teachers in many countries (Buchanan, Prescott, Schuck, Aubusson, & Burke, 2013), including Australia (Gallant & Riley, 2017) and what emerges is a fairly honest account of the complex nature of teaching as a profession (Newberry & Allsop, 2017). Most importantly for the current study is how initial teacher education can equip preservice teachers to undertake this increasingly complex role. €m and In an era of scrutiny, performativity and change Lindstro Beach (2015) and Day (2018) assert that affirming a strong professional identity is becoming more challenging. This assertion is concerning given the important role professional identity plays in supporting beginning teachers as they transition into the profession (Beauchamp & Thomas, 2009; Carmel & Badash, 2018). Moreover, despite the current context and the known benefits, Strangeways (2015) claims, identity work is often placed on the periphery in initial teacher education. Nichols, Shultz, Rodgers and Bilica (2017) refer to identity work as the process of figuring out what it means to be a teacher. Given the complexity of teaching in the current educational climate, figuring out what it means to be a teacher needs to include conversations about how self-care fits within one's professional identity. The Australian Professional Standards for Teachers (AITSL, 2011), influential on teacher education and teaching in Australia, do not address emotional regulation, resilience, agency, or reflection within teachers' work despite the value these elements contribute to self-care. Thus, the personal capacity of preservice teachers' required to support ongoing wellbeing, may be overlooked as an important aspect of learning to be a teacher and identity development within overcrowded, heavily regulated initial teacher education programs.

2. Identity and identity development Underpinning this paper is an understanding that identity a) is fluid and nonlinear in its progression (Nichols, Schultz, Rodgers, & Bilica, 2017); b) is context specific but connected through a set of core personal qualities, purpose, and beliefs (Korthagen, 2017); c) €pelto, involves human agency, including identity-agency (Etela €santanen, & Ho € kka €, 2015) when individuals draw on their V€ aha past experiences and actively participate in the advancement of professional development (Ruohotie-Lyhty & Moate, 2016); and finally d) that professional identity cannot be understood without consideration of personal identity (Hochstetler, 2011). Akkerman and Meijer (2011) suggest that when one becomes emotionally attached to the professional role of teacher, professional and personal identities merge so knowing one's self as an individual and as a teacher become more difficult to separate. Therefore, while undertaking identity work that explores aspects of emotions, resilience, agency and reflection, preservice teachers also need to come to terms with the multiple personal and professional identities that impact on becoming a teacher (Powers & Duffy, 2016). Furthermore, due to the close association and overlap between professional and personal identity, this intersection needs to be explored early in preservice teacher education for a number of important reasons. In the long term, identity work (Nichols et al., 2017) may sustain preservice teachers as learners through the difficult transitions into

the first year of teaching (Hochstetler, 2011). More immediately within their preservice teacher education, it may support preservice teachers to resolve the dissonance that occurs when beliefs, values and attitudes are challenged (Korthagen, 2017). Henry (2016) contends that professional identity is less stable in the early years of teaching and during preservice teacher education. Therefore, it is a time when awareness, shaping and reshaping of identity is possible, although it is likely to include unsettling moments as beliefs, values and expectations are challenged and may be transformed as part of the process. Furthermore, it may help preservice teachers to recognise and evaluate the reality of the perceptions and expectations they have of themselves and others in the profession, and to reconcile how those perceptions and expectations align with the realities of being a teacher (Carmel & Badash, 2018). 2.1. Self-care and identity work Self-care is considered to be “key in preventing or ameliorating the negative consequences of professional stress” (Grise-Owens, Miller, Escobar-Ratliff, & George, 2018, p. 181). Moffatt, Ryan, and Barton (2016) suggest that there is a need for self-care practices to build resilience and wellbeing in contexts such as teaching, while Zembylas (2003) notes the potential for self-care and identity development through the exploration of emotions. With reference to identity work above, the concepts associated with self-care within the context of this paper are emotions, resilience, agency and reflection. 2.2. Emotions, emotional labour and emotional wellbeing A strong link exists between identity and the emotional work of teaching (Beauchamp & Thomas, 2009; King, Garcia-Perez, Graham, Jones, Tickel & Wilson, 2014). Therefore, spending time during teacher education to understand emotional responses to situations and reflecting on the contribution they make to teacher identity should be a priority (Brown, Horner, Kerr & Scanlan, 2014). Personal histories, social, cultural and political influences cannot be ignored “when particular emotions are constructed, expressed, and communicated” (Zembylas, 2010, p. 216) because understanding how and why we act and react in particular ways allows for consideration of alternative responses that might better support wellbeing. For example, suppressing a particular response, such as anger, to respond in what is considered socially appropriate behaviour in a given context may require substantial effort. This suppression or control of emotions in response to societal rules and ideologies is described as emotional labour (Isenbarger & Zembylas, 2006), “the management of feelings to create a publicly observable facial and bodily display’’ (Hochschild, 1983, as cited by Mikyoung et al., 2016, p. 847). Emotional labour takes a toll on emotional wellbeing because it uses considerable emotional and cognitive resources to maintain. 2.3. Resilience Resilience is required by preservice teachers to negotiate and successfully complete university as a professional who is wellprepared for longevity in a career, especially for a career as demanding and varied as teaching. Izadinia (2015) notes the connection between sustained resilience and a strong sense of identity in beginning teachers. Additionally, Mansfield, Beltman, Broadley, and Weatherby-Fell (2016a) whose research is connected with preservice teachers, identify wellbeing as an outcome of resilience. Resilient people are able to develop and utilise a range of strategies to respond to adverse situations, such as the time

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pressures associated with university studies. Strategies could include humour, help-seeking and creating networks of support, and setting goals. While resilient people can draw on others in times of challenge, harnessing and strengthening resilience is a personal process that requires a certain amount of personal agency. 2.4. Agency The capacity one senses or activates to control or change aspects of their personal or professional life is linked with their sense of agency: a capacity that is mediated by interactions of personal and social worlds (Buchanan, 2015). Agency is a double edge sword in relation to wellbeing. While it can be empowering and promote wellbeing, trying to establish agency in some context can be emotionally draining, especially when emotional labour may be involved. While Mansfield et al. (2016a) note agency as an outcome of resilience, being resilient may also mean reevaluating how agency can be achieved or the level of agency that can be expected in various contexts at a particular time. Hong, Francis and Shultz (2018, p. 249) contend, “the dynamic nature of teacher identity necessitates the importance of empowering teacher agency so teachers can author their teacher identity narrative with autonomy, motivation and critical consciousness.” Considering these points, agency is worthy of attention in initial teacher education as a resilience factor, a resource to balance wellbeing, and as a component of identity development and personal growth. 3. Reflection Dewey’s (1933) contributions on reflective thinking for personal growth has provided a platform upon which others have built their work. He defines reflective thought as “[a]ctive, persistent, and careful considerations of any belief or supposed form of knowledge in the light of the grounds that support it and the further conclusions to which it tends” (Dewey, 1933, p. 9). For Dewey, reflection was a meaning making process drawing from experience and interactions with others and materials that resulted in personal change. Imagination and invention were considered as ways of thinking and as a subdivision of reflection. The fabric of reflection is provided by streams of consciousness, or automatic thoughts and the taken for granted beliefs that are engrained by upbringing, cultural norms and everyday acts. Rodgers (2002) describes this process as “weav[ing] meaning among the threads of experience” (p. 847). Dewey (1933) maintained that particular attitudes were required for personal growth to occur through reflection: a) directness, being conscious of oneself and confident, within a context, without being too self-absorbed, anxious or aloof; b) open mindedness, when one is able to take on the views of others even when their own views are challenged; c) whole heartedness, a presence and commitment to consider all aspects or views of a situation, even those that seem to conflict or appear obvious to the situation and finally responsibility. Drawing together the prior three attitudes is responsibility. This attitude illustrates our role in our meaning making, what we make as our reality, and to question what makes that reality possible (Rodgers, 2002). It is the stitching together of these attitudes that makes new meaning possible and reflects the value individuals assigned to personal growth. € n's work (1983) on reflective practice has been influential Scho in professional fields through its contribution to reflection on action and reflection in action. However, it has also been criticised for its limitation in influencing change and challenging hegemonic influences on everyday practices (Ryan & Ryan, 2013). Ekebergh (2007) offers further criticism suggesting that self-reflection

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requires a certain amount of distance from the event challenging the notion of reflection being able to occur in real time. Finlay (2008) also notes the role that context plays in learning how to reflect and how it has been underplayed in the literature. There is consensus across research fields that reflection can be seen as a hierarchical process or at least inter-related in nature (Dewey, 1933; Ryan & Ryan, 2013) and that reflection can be used for different purposes. Core reflection (Korthagen & Vasalos, 2010) supports identity development and includes reflection on personal beliefs, emotions and qualities and their interplay with contextual factors. Anticipatory reflection involves the participant to look forward while drawing on their past to imagine what is possible in their role as teacher and is one possible way to support preservice teachers in the creation of their professional identity (Conway, 2001). Through anticipatory reflection preservice teachers can evaluate the personal skills they bring to teaching and what will be required to sustain and grow those skill, as they work towards their ideal professional self (Conway, 2001). Furthermore, Beauchamp and Thomas (2010) contend anticipatory reflection supports identity development including the dimension of agency by supporting preservice teachers to identify their personal strengths and the role they play in solving problems and enacting change. In the current project, arts-based practices are used to support the process of reflection. 3.1. Using collage to support reflection Using a stimulus or arts-based process such as collage can support reflection and is valuable in helping preservice teachers to explore how past and present life experiences merge with contextual influences to expose or create identities (Dinham, Chalk, Beltman, Glass, & Nguyen, 2017). The use of arts-based processes has been linked with promoting deeper, richer reflection (Botha, 2017; Dinham et al., 2017) and reflexivity (Griffin, 2015; Strangeways, 2016). Arts-based techniques have been used in initial teacher education to support reflection to prepare preservice teachers to consider conflicts related to expectations and teacher identity in the workplace (Beltman, Glass, Dinham, Chalk, & Nguyen, 2015). Arts-based reflection has reportedly exposed a range of feelings including fear, inadequacy, hope and selfconfidence when undertaken during periods of transformation (Griffin, 2015; Regev & Ronen, 2012). This process is particularly relevant in preservice teacher education to support identity formation when imagined self and real self or imagined role and actual role may be in conflict or not well-aligned. Glass (2011) recognises the value of arts-based reflection in activating different neural pathways to emotional as well as cognitive responses. Through arts-based reflection, participants can “explore, reflect, understand, synthesise, and then re-present their teaching philosophies” (Grushka & Goodlad, 2013, p. 78) and therefore a useful process to examine the fluid notion of identity development. Collage helps unformed and fragmented thoughts to come to consciousness and develop a logical form (Butler-Kisber & Poldma, 2011; Davis, 2008). McDermott (2002) describes how she used collage in preservice teacher education to explore the relationships between preservice teachers, their personal experiences, and pedagogies. “The use of collage as a form of identity representation reveals shifting social and cultural aspects of preservice educators' constructed identities and produces a place where ‘the imagination is open, and the defensive posture relaxed, new textures, colors, and layers can be crafted’” (Mullen, 1999; as cited in McDermott, 2002, p. 57). Data collection processes such as interviews and individual

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reflection can be enhanced through the use of collage and photo elicitation where images are used to stimulate thoughts and recall. According to Williams (2000, p. 278), collage can be used to facilitate reflective discussion that allows the collage maker opportunity to “re-examine experiences in a meaningful way in order to learn from experience and develop self and personal skills for the future.” The use of images evoke deeper layers of thinking than words alone and allows different levels of meaning to be exposed because of its capacity to activate emotional response and trigger memories and ideas (Glaw, Inder, Kable, & Hazelton, 2017). Therefore, using collage and photo elicitation can help the participant and the interviewer to draw out different kinds of information during an interview (Harper, 2002). Using arts-based processes to support reflection, this paper explores the emerging narrative of Stephanie during the first 18 months of a four-year equivalent degree in initial teacher education. The narrative draws from a wider study conceptualised through four interwoven concepts taken from teacher education research: identity, resilience, agency and the emotions that contribute towards their emerging professional identity. While these aspects of teacher development take the focus at various stages of the research process it is acknowledged that resilience, agency, emotions and identity are never totally isolated from one another. This paper seeks to explore one preservice teachers’ experience of developing her professional identity through guided and intentional reflection and expands the research regarding the development of professional identity during preservice teacher education. Of particular interest in this paper is to understand from “inside out … through a deep and narrow” (Creely, 2018, p. 106) interpretation of the lived experience of the participant, how self-care, encompassing emotions, resilience and agency emerge as part of that identity. The research question guiding this study is: How does a preservice teacher's perception of self-care emerge during initial teacher education that includes attention to self-care as an aspect of identity development? In the following section the methodology that underpins and shapes the current study is described. 4. Methodology Ethical clearance for the research was obtained through the Human Research Ethics Committee of the University where the research took place. This paper draws on early data from a larger four-year study of fourteen preservice teachers. The study consists of a series of workshops that aim to map participants' perceptions regarding resilience, identity and agency over the period of their preservice teacher education. The project borrows from Soja’s (1996) concept of a Thirdspace: a lived space where students can imagine their future roles. The purpose of the Thirdspace was to create time and a safe environment for preservice teachers to openly discuss and reflect at a personal and group level on the events that they felt were significant in relation to their emerging teacher identity. The initial workshops were conducted in the second half of the first year and early into the second year their degree. They provided what Rowan, Mayer, Kline, Kostogriz, and Walker-Gibbs (2015) refers to as a potential site for resistance or subversion where students imagine agency, and rehearse what that might look like in their future contexts. The workshops were a safe space for venting on topics chosen by the participants as well as exploring learning opportunities for understanding resilience through activities guided by the facilitator/researcher, for example, completing mini lessons from the BRITE website. The BRITE website is a resource developed in Australia (See Mansfield, Beltman, Broadley, &

Weatherby-Fell, 2016b). It contains mini units and activities for preservice teachers “to build awareness of the skills and practices that will help facilitate resilience in their teaching careers” (http:// www.brite.edu.au). Reflection, supported by processes such as collage, was a key component of the workshops. While the project initially included a series of 2-h workshops, not all of these were used for data collection. The sessions included time for preservice teachers to develop an understanding of the project, to create a safe space through rapport building with and amongst the participants, and to establish the idea of researching with the preservice teachers as part of their professional growth. The participants had a choice whether or not to contribute their reflections from the workshops when data were collected. Interviews included as data were conducted during the full day workshops or as individual interviews in days following. To comply with ethical approval, data collection commenced in the second trimester of the first year once the researcher's role teaching role with the cohort was complete. Therefore, collage and photo elicitation became important as memory stimulus during interviews reflecting back on the first six months of the degree. 4.1. Stephanie This paper specifically reports on the case of Stephanie (a pseudonym), a single case from the larger study. The author's role as First Year Coordinator and Course Convenor in Trimester 1 of Stephanie's commencing year afforded opportunities to build a strong connection with Stephanie before the project commenced. One of the early reasons for singling out this data set for closer scrutiny was Stephanie's enthusiasm and commitment to complete the reflection activities despite the major challenges she was experiencing at university. Stephanie's interest in becoming a teacher stemmed from the teaching role she held in her church. Her Christian faith was a central feature of her identity. A mother in her mid-thirties, Stephanie was attending university for the first time. She reported she received limited support from her partner or immediate family to come to university despite the fact that her husband had obtained three degrees and her mother had a qualification in higher education. Similar to other participants in the study, family demands contributed to the challenges she faced during the transition into university. However, some of the course content that conflicted with her religious beliefs, her history with depression, and intensity of the emotional challenges that she communicated, made her case unique. 4.2. Data collection methods Data sources used in this study include a) collage (n ¼ 1) with written deconstructed reflection (seven pages); b) mask collage with oral (transcribed verbatim) deconstructed reflection through interview (n ¼ 1 with 45 min interview); c) written reflections from coursework (n ¼ 2 with total six pages); d) workshop activities (n ¼ 6 and included questionnaire, photo elicitation, metaphor); e) semi-structured interviews (n ¼ 1); and f) focus group interview (n ¼ 1). Data were collected over a 16-month period during or between the six workshops, each of 2 h in duration, and one full day workshop. The phenomenological case study allowed intimate knowledge of the participant's views to be shared (Cohen, Manion, & Morrison, 2000). While the aim is to understand how her professional identity is developed and what factors contribute to that development, it is also about what the new forms or the awareness of identity mean for Stephanie as “an internal existential experience

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concomitant with [her personal] life” (Creely, 2018, p. 107). By incorporating arts-based practices such as collage to support reflection, “images in relation to self, new meanings, previously unaware, unvoiced, unexpressed, half-understood [come] to be significant and capable of being incorporated into the participants' social and/or emotional understanding of themselves” (Leitch, 2006, p. 566). A deep and narrow interpretation of the lived experience of the participant (Creely, 2018), is enhanced through arts-based supported reflection as more “meaningful insights often come by surprise, unexpectedly and even against the will of the creator” (McNiff, 2008, p. 40). Furthermore, different ways of knowing are also exposed when reflection processes are extended to include modes other than language (Liamputtong & Rumbold, 2008). 4.3. Data analysis Thematic analysis was guided by techniques described by Braun and Clarke (2006) and Simons (2012). “Dancing with the data” (Simons, 2012, p. 140) meant the data were read, reread, viewed from various angles and organised in multiple ways during and after data collection. As data were collected it was analysed as a single entity, and then coded in conjunction with existing analysis to create an holistic picture. Coding and categorisation of data involved the constant interplay of data and theory. The constant comparison method (Thomas, 2011) helped to identify, name and justify emerging themes, and member checking occurred at the subsequent data collection point to confirm the essence of the analysis previously extracted. The essence of the three identified themes is discussed later in the Findings section. While some extended quotes are included verbatim, in other sections key words and phrases taken from the data are encased in quotation marks within a distillation of Stephanie's explanations. In the next section, the data taken from the two collages and the supporting reflections are described as they provide the starting point for the discussion related to Stephanie's identity development. 5. Results 5.1. Reporting from the collages 5.1.1. Collage 1: perfection, purging, processing and hope The first collage activity, based on the work of Simmons and Daley (2013), asked participants to develop a collage using a rip and paste technique to represent how they perceived their resilient self. Stephanie did not complete the task during the session. Her reflection following the eventual completion of the task explains how she felt at that time. Originally, I was feeling apathetic and struggling to understand/ comprehend what images I was looking for. There is always a fear of failing or not being good enough, so this was something I had to face. I found that my perfectionist tendencies weren't focused on the fact I couldn't use scissors but more on the fact that the images/pictures had to be perfect. When I couldn't organise my thoughts cohesively, I started just ripping pictures that appealed to me at the time and I started sticking them down. It wasn't until I was at home and continuing the process that it all started coming together for me and I started enjoying it. Then, the most difficult part was not spending time on it! I found I put more time and effort into this project than my other studies. The following week she returned to the workshop with her completed collage (see Fig. 1) that was at least five times the

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footprint of the paper provided for the original work. The seven pages of written reflection she brought with her described the collage she had created and the meaning and placement of each image. Stephanie identified seven panels of her collage. Each panel represented a particular theme: No resilience; past experiences; personal attributes; coping strategies; activities to build resilience; being resilient; true resilience. Furthermore, it also explained how the process she had created through images not only revealed previously unformed thoughts but also supported an optimistic outlook that she may have been struggling to develop previously (Leitch, 2006; McNiff, 2008). Having wrestled with mental health issues since her adolescence, she noted that the collage process revealed a greater understanding of the “cyclical nature of [her] emotional states.” More importantly for Stephanie's commitment to her studies and longevity in her career, she explained “the collage gives me hope, and I think that is the main theme I take away from it: hope.” The first three panels of the collage, which she named no resilience, past experiences, personal attributes represented Stephanie's understanding of how she had been shaped by past experiences which Lamote and Engels (2010) note are important influences on professional identity development. What emerged from the reflection were feelings of anxiety, loneliness, inadequacy, fear, helplessness and her tendency to give up and push people away when things were hard. A range of personal characteristics was identified, which Stephanie expressed within a neutral to negative range. For example, Stephanie explained in a neutral sense that colour was used to represent her cultural heritage only acknowledging the merging of cultures in her life. Most other elements of the collage were illustrative of the negative view she held of herself and what she perceived as her lack of resilience, such as, avoiding situations due to a fear of conflict or failure. Her descriptions reflected a low selfesteem and low confidence constantly referring to feeling like she is just “hanging in there” and “never being good enough.” Panel four identified the safety and escape strategies that moved her from “looking/living in the past … and asking what if … to looking to the future, with hope, and asking the same question.” Places of refuge, both physical, such as her bedroom; and imagined, though her love of reading, were noted as being important. She identified the armour she wore to protect herself, and other people, from her “destructive thinking and/or negativity.” Panel five included the coping mechanisms she employed, or she was developing to build her resilience. Stephanie commented that, “at very dark times” she “hid away from people.” As a more proactive approach, and more recently, she made time for quilting as a creative outlet and an opportunity to nurture friendships. She described the patch working process as a reflection of putting herself “back together when [she] falls apart.” The collage takes a more optimistic turn and Stephanie marks this change with the placement of “Aloha” on the cusp of the first and sixth panel “because I wish to say farewell to the old me who gives up and panics and hello to being a more resilient member of society.” The final two panels represent how Stephanie sees being resilient and what true resilience means to her. These images represent a journey, which she recognises she now tries to enjoy as it unravels rather than being feared for the obstacles that might be encountered. In this section of the collage Stephanie identified a more even pace in life, where rest and pursuing her own interests are considered a necessity and not a luxury. Rather than shaping herself to fit other people's expectations, as in panel four, Stephanie explains the dancer she placed in panel seven represents welcoming new experiences with an open mind. She notes the change allows flexibility in thinking and actions to “appreciate the beauty within the situation and hopefully within myself.”

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Fig. 1. Stephanie's initial collage.

In relation to exposing previously hidden or unformed thoughts (Butler-Kisber & Poldma, 2011) and the cathartic nature of the process, Stephanie later wrote, I found [the collage] a great way to express what goes on in my thoughts without having to write it down first. The process

allowed me to process and THEN articulate my feelings and thoughts … [it allowed] a purge of feelings/emotions through imagery- it means I no longer have to carry it bottled up and have it constantly weigh me down.

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Stephanie noted that she had a “long journey ahead” to become a teacher, but recognised the “small glimmer of hope that [she] will get through it and be someone of worth.” Hope, high expectations, social emotional competence and optimism are identified by Mansfield et al. (2016a) as personal resources linked with resilience. 5.1.2. Collage 2: the mask- builders and blockers The second collage activity conducted five months later, asked participants to decorate the front of a mask to illustrate how they saw themselves as a teacher after a year at university and the factors they attributed to the process of shaping their current views of themselves. Following this, participants decorated the inside of their mask to illustrate the influences they had encountered in the last 12 months that challenged or supported the process of becoming that teacher. A written reflection and semi-structured interview provided Stephanie with an opportunity to examine the key aspects of her mask and that data forms the next part of Stephanie's story. Fig. 2 contains an image of the collaged mask. Front-A black dotted line she “stitched” into the mask on the front, links with the buttons to represent the “cohesion” Stephanie was trying to develop within herself as a person and herself as a professional. On the back, the stitching created a boundary for the areas that supported or threatened to derail her experience to become a teacher. Starting with the front of the mask, Stephanie explained the stitching and buttons connected the “pedagogical tools … and my own personality” that helped her to “make sense of the teaching at uni.” Making sense for Stephanie included how she would support students and their parents while also managing her own emotional stability. Stephanie's personal identity was firmly shaped by her strong Christian upbringing and what she described as “her strong sense of right and wrong.” A large red eye on her mask represented the “gullibility and naivety” she considered that she brought to university, not just about teaching but about the world in general. Through various coursework activities she became aware she held certain assumptions about particular groups and individuals in society. After visiting an adult pleasure store as part of an assignment to push herself out of her comfort zone to reflect on her assumptions and belief, she noted her naivety towards some aspects of society when viewed from outside the lens of her religious and

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family values. While the exposed eye on the mask was a reminder to herself that she needed to remain open-minded, she explained she found it was challenging to reconcile her conflicting values and beliefs. She illustrated on her mask, through the use of feathers, that it is her choice to cover her eyes or not to certain ideals. Stephanie chose an image of a brick wall to symbolise and acknowledge how her life experiences and university were providing the building blocks of her identity as a teacher. She explained she was “incorporating the experiences of uni and building upon that to change who I am as a person but also to help form the teacher I want to be.” Back- On the reverse side, the dotted line was covered by a large piece of artificial grass that she explained represented nurturing and care related to her relationships, her own wellbeing and her professional and personal growth. However, juxtaposed beside the grass was blackness, a dark place or a wall: she explained it as “hiding behind walls to protect others from myself and an attempt to stop more negativity infiltrating me.” Growing from the wall on the mask is a spider's web representing the depression that lurks in her life and she explains the “spider is just waiting there to catch me and keep me in its web.” While not naming the concept, Stephanie referred again to the emotional labour she feels in day-today interactions “trying to be happy on the outside even if not feeling it on the inside … in terms of a mask you are not being true to who you are.” Stephanie acknowledged the support she received from university teaching staff, support services provided by the university, and the network of friends she developed within her cohort as the enablers of her first year. In contrast, she recalled how initially she “felt unsupported at home and felt very alone.” As a mature age student, with a traditional role of wife and mother in relation to home duties, Stephanie described her decision to return to university as “courageous”. She represented her courage through leopard print material and linked the feline print to her “loyalty, empathy and protectiveness of others” that she noted as a personal strength. In fact, she noted it as her only positive quality and how it can be overbearing as she attempts to fix everyone else's problems or issues. Positive personal resources of courage and empathy; contextual resources such as social networks; faith practices and help-seeking as strategies; and outcomes of belonging and commitment have been identified in the literature related to resilience of preservice teachers (see Mansfield et al., 2016a). Resilience will be an important element of Stephanie's emerging

Fig. 2. Image of collaged masks.

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professional identity (Izadinia, 2015). 6. Discussion In the following section, three themes that emerged from the analysis are examined as Stephanie reconciled the multiple identities she brought to university such as wife, parent, daughter, friend and Christian with her new identity as preservice teacher. The discussion is in no way built on claims that simply undertaking the workshops and completing the guided reflection activities contributed solely to the growth and change. Change has been aided by ongoing support provided by the university and the myriad of life experiences that have run parallel to Stephanie's life as a preservice teacher. As Lamote and Engels (2010) contend, a range of factors including biographical histories, knowledge and the learning environment in initial teacher education, and the experience gained in schools, influence identity development. The activities and subsequent reflection exposed elements of her growth and change. 6.1. Love thy self to understand they self A recurring discussion in the Thirdspace group was participants' idea that loving yourself was an important first step in being a resilient teacher and was seen as a pre-requisite to being able to help others. Stephanie's dealings with mental health challenges and related self-esteem issues contributed to her struggle with the concept and language of loving yourself and the long-term implications this may have on her as a teacher. Loving myself is not something that I do. It's not something I've ever done, and it's a concept that I've really struggled with. So that constantly makes me question am I in the right place, am I doing the right thing, am I going to inherently damage a kid because I can't love myself. (Mask interview) Stephanie's understanding of herself and of her responses to various situations changed over time. The unrealistic expectations she placed on herself to achieve and to meet what she perceived others expected of her were recognised for their role in feeding her self-doubt. Stephanie recognised she had numerous identities before she commenced university, such as her mum identity which she saw with clarity but recognised “her personal identity of who it means to be me is a lot murkier.” Part of that murkiness could be attributed to her changing attitudes towards self-care. Being used to “pushing [her]self beyond [her] boundaries to reach perfection” or to meeting other people's needs, or to aspire to expectations she believed others had of her had a negative impact on her wellbeing. She now recognised “there are times when I need to be nice to myself” and taking time out is not a threat to her identity as a “hardworking person” nor is it “selfish” but rather a mechanism that supports a more productive and happier person. Stephanie conceded that, “the new me is … learning to accept myself as I am … and … taking responsibility for not allowing someone else to validate me as a person … and the difference I've got to make is in myself.” She explained that the more she “learnt about self-care … changed my relationship not only with myself, but others.” 6.2. Self-compassion Stephanie identified the care and compassion she demonstrated towards others as a personal strength and came to realise she did not extend this same compassion to herself. Through her understanding of self-care, she accepted she also needed to engage in self-compassion and saw this as a compromise to using the

language of self-love. You've got to nurture grass … to make it grow. So that's not only for myself to make sure that I do what I need to do to become the best teacher I can be, but to nurture the kids within my class to be the best kind of person they can be … Because of the things I'm discovering now … I feel it's already impacting on my relationships and in the way I deal with others … it's like this great new discovery … this self-compassion and being able to recognise when people aren't being self-compassionate to themselves. So, I'm hoping especially as a high school teacher, I can … share those strategies with a student, that then they won't get to my age and then have to learn it.

6.3. Remaining open to blend personal and professional identity Throughout the reflections, Stephanie's personal growth opened up new ways to consider her future, allowing others to influence but not monopolise her thinking. She recognised that what she has learnt about herself and teaching are important in considering her future professional self. Originally, I probably had very strong ideals about who I was going to be as a teacher. I think that has changed … I don't want to decide here and now that this is the kind of teacher I'm going to be, because I think that's how I've been my entire life and I'm still dealing with the consequences of that … So it's allowing myself to be more open to experiences and other people's thoughts and opinions. Stephanie noted that studying to become a teacher has had a profound impact on how she operates in her private life. When I'm learning at uni as a teacher it doesn't just shape me as a teacher. It shapes me as me. It shapes me as a mother … wife, sister, aunt, …it does affect everything. It's kind of making them [the identities] collaborate and cohesively work together to be me. … That is coming out more and more. I see, no I feel … there's a cohesiveness. The interconnectedness of various identities supports a cohesive more authentic professional identity and is important to teachers because of the close alignments between personal and professional worlds (Akkerman & Meijer, 2011; Hochstetler, 2011). Stephanie showed evidence of reconciling her commitment to others with commitment to herself and her own self-care. Stephanie's first year was filled with a range of challenges, opportunities for self-growth, and emotional hardship. She noted the reciprocal influence of her personal and professional identity development noting, “I'm creating a teacher identity, but my teacher identity is also creating me.” She recognises her progress towards becoming the teacher she aspires to be but also notes how far she has come in the process. I don't think I'll have a full appreciation of what it is to be a teacher until I'm a teacher … but identity is becoming clearer … It's less one dimensional … It's filtering through everything else, and it's being able to make those connections. I've always considered myself a very sensitive, sometimes overly sensitive person, but these connections that are coming through now, as opposed to when I first started, where everything was overwhelming and going, ‘What have I done? I'm not good enough to be here,’ to being, ‘Well, look how far I've come.’ That's, not tooting my own horn.

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7.2. Building capacity through arts-based reflection: self-care, agency and identity 7. Conclusions and implications The aim of this paper was to explore how guided reflection, using arts-based methods, supported one preservice teacher's perception of self-care as an aspect of identity development. It builds on the literature that connects self-care as a preventative strategy for the negative consequences of profession stress (GriseOwens et al., 2018) and illustrates how arts-based reflection processes contributed to professional identity development.

7.1. Reflection and identity building The Thirdspace project provided opportunities for Stephanie to explore the early eruptions of her professional identity development in the first year of a Bachelor of Education program. Teacher preparation needs to include a focus on identity development, and what that identity constitutes, especially when considered within the complexity of teaching (Avalos, 2011). For Stephanie, fostering this professional identity was not only important for her personal development now, it will be crucial for her successful transition into teaching and longevity in her career (Beauchamp & Thomas, 2009; Carmel & Badash, 2018). By nurturing a strong professional identity during the early stages of preservice teacher education, an understanding of the complexity of teachers' work and contributing elements to this complexity emerged. What Dewey (1933) referred to as wholeheartedness towards reflection helped Stephanie to re-evaluate her construction of reality and to challenge taken for granted beliefs about herself, her relationships and her personal world. Collage provided Stephanie with a process to help her to question the influences that makes that reality possible (Rodgers, 2002). Potentially, this awareness could support preservice teachers’ resilience and be factorial in reducing the rate of attrition in early career teachers (Day, 2018; Izadinia, 2015) and may help to counter the negative consequences of professional stress in the future (Grise-Owens et al., 2018). Reflection plays an important role in selecting and utilising resilience strategies in a timely manner. Anticipatory reflection (Conway, 2001), or thinking about the type of teacher she might become, has contributed to Stephanie being able to identify the strengths she brought to university and how these may be applied now and, in the future, to shape her professional identity. For Stephanie, reframing her past experiences and examining the emotions they evoked supported her agency in working towards her goal of being an empathetic educator. Reflection was a meaning making process for Stephanie who was able to draw from experience. Through the group context and artsbased interactions with her peers Stephanie was able to develop the attitudes that Dewey (1933) proposed are required for personal growth. A range of factors shape the professional identities of preservice teachers. In the current study, Stephanie came to realise her selfperceptions and beliefs about herself were not always accurate or constructive, and the standards to which she held herself accountable were sometimes unrealistic. When her core values and beliefs about herself shifted towards a closer alignment with her identity at a personal level it allowed glimmers of hope for a vision of herself as a future professional (Korthagen, 2017; Ruohotie-Lyhty & Moate, 2016). Adding to the studies of Hochstetler (2011) the current study found that a more positive outlook of herself and her potential as a teacher emerged as Stephanie noted the convergence of her personal and professional identity.

Becoming a teacher is far more complex than developing competencies identified in a set of professional standards, and teacher educators have an obligation to preservice teachers to help them to develop a wider set of skills so they can navigate the academic, practical and emotional aspects of teaching. Exploring emotional episodes that involve judgments about the positioning of ones’ self in relation to personally held beliefs about teachers and teaching, while confronting, is valuable in supporting identity development (Nichols et al., 2017). Reflecting through particular arts-based methods can expose previously held, taken for granted beliefs (Grushka & Goodlad, 2013) and disrupt streams of consciousness (Dewey, 1933) that shape identity but also have the potential to limit one's thinking. The current study responds to the findings of Ryan (2013) and Moffatt et al. (2016). Ryan (2013) espouses the need to teach specific processes for quality reflection in higher education. Arts-based reflection supports inward thinking that moves beyond logic and rational thought. It provides an avenue to express feelings, emotions and ideas surpassing the limitations of using words alone. The process of arts-based reflection support's Dewey's notion of making meaning as it “provide[s] an arena for making sense of the world” (Unrath & Nordlund, 2009, p. 102) and has a valuable place within initial teacher education. Moffatt et al. (2016) notes the benefits of teaching self-care practices for professionals preparing for highly stressful careers, such as teaching, as a means of supporting resilience and wellbeing. Using collage to guide reflection in a non-judgemental context provided Stephanie with tools to reflect deeply within herself. The process exposed influencing aspects of her biography that will form the basis of a strong professional identity (Lamote & Engels, 2010). Also exposed was a shift in practices of self-care, which according to Grise-Owens et al. (2018) may support her resilience and wellbeing during her teacher education years and beyond. Furthermore, the current study adds to the work of Strangeways (2015) who calls for identity work to hold a more central position in initial teacher education to support elements of self-care, which in turn can strengthen professional identity. Arts-based reflection provides possibilities for active learning and space for reflection outside of assessment expectations. Finding time to teach and value reflection and reflexivity within teacher education programs is vital for professional growth and personal wellbeing. 8. Future research This study presents a single study of one preservice teacher to present a deep and narrow interpretation of her experiences (Creely, 2018). The accounts recalled by Stephanie were raw and contained elements of struggles as well as success and it is difficult to identify how important the arts-based tasks were in stimulating her recollections and the emotions that arose. Following the case through to graduation will help to create a fuller picture of how identity develops throughout initial teacher education. This is the intention of the larger project where participants remain in phase during their degree. However, Stephanie will delay her graduation to accommodate her growing family and her story to this point is worthy to be told. With regard to future research, the relationship between identity, agency, resilience and emotions needs to be explored further as a means of supporting preservice teacher wellbeing. Examining the relationship at various junctures of initial teacher education programs could inform how teacher educators can most effectively support preservice teachers’ resilience and wellbeing as they

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transition into the profession and through various periods of substantial change that seem inevitable in contemporary educational contexts. Similarly, as initial teacher education programs move increasingly into the online space, using a guided arts-based approach to reflection may provide opportunities to build authentic connections and engage learners meaningfully, despite physical distance. Further research in this area is needed to explore its potential. In this study using arts-based practices to support reflection allowed Stephanie new ways of seeing, feeling and saying (Rolling, 2010). In fact, arts-based reflection provided the tools for not only new ways of saying but ways of saying more. The final comment from Stephanie's last interview confirms the value of supporting opportunities for reflection through arts-based processes. This conversation has been illuminating … I'm further ahead than I thought. Appendix A. Supplementary data Supplementary data to this article can be found online at https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tate.2019.102920. References Akkerman, S. F., & Meijer, P. C. (2011). A dialogical approach to conceptualizing teacher identity. Teaching and Teacher Education, 27(2), 308e319. Australian Institute for Teaching and School Leadership (AITSL). (2011). Australian professional standards for teachers. Melbourne: Australian Government. Retrieved from https://www.aitsl.edu.au/australianprofessional-standards-forteachers/standards/list. Avalos, B. (2011). Teacher professional development in Teaching and Teacher Education over ten years. Teaching and Teacher Education, 27(1), 10e20. https:// doi.org/10.1016/j.tate.2010.08.007. Beauchamp, C., & Thomas, L. (2009). Understanding teacher identity: An overview of issues in the literature and implications for teacher education. Cambridge Journal of Education, 39(2), 175e189. Beauchamp, C., & Thomas, L. (2010). Reflecting on an ideal: Student teachers envision a future identity. Reflective Practice, 11(5), 631e643. https://doi.org/ 10.1080/14623943.2010.516975. Beltman, S., Glass, C., Dinham, J., Chalk, B., & Nguyen, B. (2015). Drawing identity: Beginning pre-service teachers' professional identities. Issues in Educational Research, 25(3), 225e245. Botha, C. S. (2017). Using metaphoric body mapping to encourage reflection on the developing identity of preservice teachers. South African Journal of Education, 37(3), 1e12. https://doi.org/10.15700/saje.v37n3a1377. Braun, V., & Clarke, V. (2006). Using thematic analysis in psychology. Qualitative Research in Psychology, 3(2), 77e101. Brown, E. L., Horner, C. G., Kerr, M. M., & Scanlon, C. L. (2014). United States teachers' emotional labor and professional identities. KEDI J. Educ. Policy, 11(2), 205e225. Buchanan, R. (2015). Teacher identity and agency in an era of accountability. Teachers and Teaching, 21(6), 700e719. Buchanan, J., Prescott, A., Schuck, S., Aubusson, P., & Burke, P. (2013). Teacher retention and attrition: Views of early career teachers. Australian Journal of Teacher Education, 38, 112e129. Butler-Kisber, L., & Poldma, T. (2011). The power of visual approaches in qualitative inquiry: The use of collage making and concept mapping in experiential research. Journal of Research Practice, 6(2), 1e16. Carmel, R., & Badash, M. (2018). Views on attrition and retention among beginning English as a foreign language (EFL) teachers in Israel and implications for teacher education. Teaching and Teacher Education, 70, 142e152. Clinton, J., Dinham, S., Savage, G., Aston, R., Dabrowski, A., Gullickson, A., & Arbour, G. (2015). Evaluation of the implementation of the Australian professional standards for teachers. Cohen, L. M., Manion, L., & Morrison, K. (2000). Research methods in education (5th ed.). London, England: Routledge Falmer. Conklin, H. G. (2014). Toward more joyful learning: Integrating play into frameworks of middle grades teaching. American Educational Research Journal, 51, 1227e1255. https://doi.org/10.3102/0002831214549451. Connell, R. (2013). The neoliberal cascade and education: An essay on the market agenda and its consequences. Critical Studies in Education, 54(2), 99e112. Conway, P. F. (2001). Anticipatory reflection while learning to teach: From a temporally truncated to a temporally distributed model of reflection in teacher education. Teaching and Teacher Education, 17, 89e106. Correa Gorospe, J. M., Martínez-Arbelaiz, A., & Fern
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