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American School Counselor Association Gay and Lesbian Adolescents: Presenting Problems and the Counselor's Role Author(s): Jonna J. Cooley Source: Professional School Counseling, Vol. 1, No. 3, SPECIAL ISSUE: SEXUAL MINORITY YOUTH AND THE SCHOOL COUSELOR: The Challenges of a Hidden Minority (February 1998), pp. 30-34 Published by: American School Counselor Association Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/42731798 Accessed: 30-09-2016 21:21 UTC JSTOR is a not-for-profit service that helps scholars, researchers, and students discover, use, and build upon a wide range of content in a trusted digital archive. We use information technology and tools to increase productivity and facilitate new forms of scholarship. For more information about JSTOR, please contact [email protected].
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Gay and Lesbian Adolescents: Presenting Problems and the Counselor's Role
Jonna J. Cooley
Adolescence person's physiologically, Adolescence young person' young s person'person's s life. is "Anatomically body changes one bodylife. rapidly" of changes"Anatomically the(Borhek, most and rapidly" 1988, chaoticand physiologically, (Borhek, periods 1988, inthe the a p. 1 23). Identity development is a key issue in this stage of life.
Because of the difficulty in developing a healthy identity in a homophobic world, gay and lesbian adolescents are an at-risk population. While the American Psychiatric Association voted
in 1973 to depathologize homosexuality, this change did not eliminate the social stigmatization nor dispel the myths asso-
ciated with homosexuality. Even after further research and much media attention, our "enlightened society" still jails homosexuals for engaging privately in homosexual practices, excludes partners from intensive care units, denies partners participation in life-or-death decisions regarding medical situ-
ations, and gays and lesbians are legally denied both public and private employment (Hildalgo, Peterson, & Woodman, 1985). Homosexuals are an oppressed minority. Although homosexuals have come a long way, clearly they still have a long way to go. Both adult and adolescent homosexuals face many problems and receive little support.These problems and the lack of support exist because we, as a society, fail to understand homosexuality. As counselors today, we need to gain the necessary knowledge, understand the presenting problems, and help these adolescents. It is important to note early on that advocating on the behalf of a group so despised and misunderstood will not be an easy task. As an advocate you may be ostracized, ridiculed, and possibly even labeled by some individuals within the school system, parents, and community members. The fact is that it is easier for most individuals to deny that there is a problem than to learn the facts and make positive changes. With the facts, we as counselors can make a difference. I have defined five major presenting problems: (1) development of social identity, (2) isolation, (3) educational issues, (4) family issues, and (5) health risks. Following the summary of research for each problem, I have identified the counselor's
sense of identity, and social skills. Each aspect of devel ment can be difficult to acquire for gay and lesbian ado
cents, who come to realize that they are different from t
peers (Morrow, 1993). In this developmental period, wh pressure to conform is the norm, being different can stressful. While their peers incessantly discuss the worl heterosexual relationships and exploration, gay and lesb adolescents may either isolate themselves for fear of re tion or deny their sexual orientation. Concealing one's s
al identity builds protective walls and is emotionally drain
(Feinstein & Looney, 1982). Troiden (1988) describes a four-stage model for the attai ment of a healthy gay/lesbian identity. 1. Sensitization. This stage is characterized by general feelings of marginality, perceptions of being different fr same sex peers. This is the period when the young per learns the social identity of a homosexual. 2. Identity Confusion. Homosexuality is personalized d ing this stage. There are many sources of identity confusi ranging from social condemnation to misinformation rega ing homosexuality. Same-sex attractions become apparen 3- Identity Assumption. At this stage the homosexual i tity is established and shared with others. The gay/les adolescent achieves self-definition as a homosexual and
begins associating with other homosexuals and experime sexually.
4. Commitment. "A commitment is a feeling of obligation to follow a particular course of action" (p. 1 10). In the homosexual context, it means adopting a way of life. This is indi-
cated by same-sex love relationships and stigma-management strategies.
The homosexual identity, as outlined by Troiden (1988), develops over a prolonged period of time. Not all homosexual individuals successfully complete all four stages. It is his
belief that only those who do will "achieve the hoped-for fusion of sexual identity and emotionality" (p. 112).
Martin and Hetrick 1988) indicated that a primary developmental task for homosexual adolescents is adjusting to a DEVELOPMENT OF SOCIAL IDENTITY socially stigmatized role. Verbal and physical abuse from According to Erikson (1963), identity formation thestressor. Gay and lesbian adolescents witness peers is is a major most important developmental task of adolescence. the cruelPeer comments, jokes, and name-calling (Savin-Williams, group interactions and acceptance are crucial to1994). the Rejection identi-by peers need not be experienced directly ty formation process. The framework of general in order adolescent to cut deeply. Many observe the treatment of peers and clearly understand what could happen to them if they development includes the development of self-esteem, a
role for intervention, treatment, and/or instituting change.
appear different. Gay and lesbian youth lack positive role models. They are
aware of homosexual stereotypes, such as "Homosexuals cannot form loving relationships... they are sexually promiscuous... theyCounare unhappy, and they prey on and seduce chilJonna J. Cooley is a graduate student, Human Development seling, at the University of Illinois at Springfield. dren" (Dempsey, 1994, p.l6l). 30 Professional School Counseling 1:3 February 1998 ASCA
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So what do these very scared and socially underdeveloped adolescents do? Many successfully blend with their
straight peers and families. They may date and become sexually involved;
preparation for management of social identity of homosexuals is a major differ-
The counselor's role
some girls even become pregnant, in an
IS TO HELP CLIENTS
effort to deny their sexual orientation achieve a level of selfto themselves and others. Some may become involved in academics, sports, understanding AND or extracurricular activities while others may withdraw from typical teenage
ACCEPTANCE,
social experiences and activities all together.
REGARDLESS OF THEIR The Counselor's Role
The helping profession has historiDECISION TO TELL OTHERS cally been in the forefront of advocating on behalf of minority groups.
entiator between homosexual adolescents and their heterosexual counter-
parts in other minority groups. Dank (1971) highlighted this difference when
he wrote: "The parents of a Negro [sic] can communicate to their child that he is
a Negro and what it is like to be a Negro,
but the parents of a person who is to become homosexual do not prepare their child to be a homosexual - they are not homosexual themselves and they do not communicate to him what it is like to
be a homosexual" (p. 181). What happens, due to the lack of accurate information, is that the gay or
lesbian adolescents will experience cognitive dissonance. The standards they advocating for the dignity and human have incorporated from society equip them to be cognizant to what others see as their failings, rights of all gay and lesbian people, particularly adolescents" (Morrow, 1993, p.658). Intervention focused on developing inevitably causing them to agree that they do fall short of what they really ought to be. Shame becomes an issue arising from positive self-acceptance and building self-esteem is essential. Counselors must become aware of their own homophothe individual's perception of his or her attributes as being bia. It is important to avoid a heterosexual bias of assuming repulsive (Martin & Hetrick, 1988). Gay and lesbian adolesthat all clients are heterosexual. Counselors must be cents, willing in their isolation and with their internalized homophobia, In feel that no one else is like them or that no one can love to explore sexual orientation with adolescent clients. order to do this, there must be an understanding of thebecause being gay is wrong and sick. Some even feel that them it may be better to die. developmental stages and challenges of both heterosexual and homosexual youth (Dempsey, 1994). In addition, counCounselor's Role selors need to accurately educate themselves about The homoGay and lesbian adolescents experiencing isolation feel sexuality so that they can dispel inaccurate myths and negative stereotypes. They must also educate clients. that they are alone in the world and that they have no on with whom they can confide. Counselors need to be tha ISOLATION someone! Accurately informed, unbiased counselors can Individuals in our society are raised as members of begin severthe process to decrease isolation by undoing interna "Counselors need to come forward in
ized homophobia before patterns of self-defeating behaviors al groups. Some common groups include the family, religious (Gonsiorek, 1988). affiliation, and race. In some cases, many times notare byingrained choice, Coleman (Coleman & Remafedi, 1989) addresses the diswe find ourselves in a minority group. Martin and Hetrick
sonance by gay and lesbian adolescents. He (1988) state that "the major difference between gays experienced and statesthe that,gay "Counselors need to understand dissonance as an members of other minority groups occurs because person becomes a member of the group during expected adolescence part of gay and lesbian adolescent development. rather than at birth" (p. 52). They must be willing to engage in dialogue with clients For most gay and lesbian adolescents, their sexual about oriendissonance and to support clients in clarifying their tation is not obvious to others and the rewards forfeelings being norabout sexual orientation" (p.658). Counselors may be the only safe haven for a gay/lesbian adolescent to mal are so great that those who can pass for being normal will generally do so. "This deception distorts almost all relaexplore such frightening and confusing feelings. tionships the adolescent may attempt to develop or maintain
and creates an increasing sense of isolation" (Feinstein & Looney, 1982, p.58). The adolescent realizes that his/her membership in the approved group, whether it be a sports team, the classroom, or the family, is based on a lie.This reinforces the belief that he or she is not truly a member of the
group even though membership is maintained. One problem of keeping one's sexual orientation hidden is
the ever-present need to self-monitor (Dempsey, 1994). This cognitive isolation reflects the "almost total lack of accurate information available to gay and lesbian adolescents" (Martin & Hetrick, 1988, p.l67).This lack of information and the lack of
EDUCATIONAL ISSUES
Anderson (1994) states, "In every class in every scho throughout the country there are students who are n being given an equal education.... We do little, in most c
nothing, to prepare them for a world that reviles them or
support them in a school environment in which they called faggots and dykes"(p.l51).The message that he wo
like to see taught in our schools is "you may be gay and th okay" (p. 151).
This unequal education spans from the classroom to t
school administration. Morrow (1993), as a part of a study, s
Professional School Counseling 1:3 February 1998 ASCA 31
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veyed teachers and administrators asking them to respond to
lescent, at least initially, is a common outcome" (Morrow,
the needs of gay and lesbian students. The teacher respondents said that their schools were not promoting tolerance
1993,p.656).
providing a fair, nonhomophobic education. Many of the school-based problems experienced by gay and lesbian adolescents are in response to the verbal and physical abuse they receive from peers. Forms of violence range from gaybashing (name calling) to physical attacks
As with isolation, family issues may create cognitive dissonance.This arises from a knowledge of the families expectations. This sense of contradiction and failure, in turn, leads to guilt, shame, anger, and a not-unfounded fear of rejection (Martin & Hetrick, 1988). Many individuals will cope with feelings of inferiority by pleasing others.This behavior often leads to loss of identity, self-neglect, disregard for personal needs, and destructive habits of caretaking (Hildalgo et al.,
(Savin-Williams, 1994). The consequences for the victim
1985).
and acceptance of homosexuality. The administration respondents were confident that their schools were doing just fine;
include poor school performance, truancy, and dropping out
of school. Homophobic harassment is not addressed by
Violence against gay and lesbian adolescents often takes place in the home, perpetrated by family members. In a study
teachers, who fear for their own job security should they be
conducted by Gonsiorek (1988), gay and lesbian youth dis-
known as supporters of homosexuality (Whitlock, 1989). According to Morrow (1993) truancy and dropping out are taken as evidence that sexual minority youth are a par-
closed that they fear retribution more from fathers than from
mothers. This study also found that 22% had been sexually abused by a family member following the discovery or dis-
ticularly problematic population. Yet this behavior should be
closure of their sexual orientation.A study by Maylon (1981)
seen as a coping strategy, necessary because authorities fail to provide a safe learning environment. I would echo SavinWilliams' (1994) view that "gay and lesbian adolescents are the loneliest people in the typical high school of today"
found that nearly one-half of gay male youth and one-third of lesbian youth have run away at least once in their lives. Many
(p.264).
of the runaway or throwaway (youths thrown out of the home by parents) adolescents left home after arguing with their parents. By leaving, gay and lesbian adolescents avoid verbal, physical, and sexual abuse and maintain the family
The Counselor's Role
secret, but they also face, in a vulnerable state, a world that Education institutions, in general, must move toward deis ready to exploit them. stigmatizing homosexuality. Anderson (1994) outlines a fiveThe Counselor's Role step approach: (a) professional development, (b) support staff and services, (c) sexuality in the health curriculum, (d) Counselors can help the gay/lesbian adolescents as we library services, and (e) general curricula changes. as School their family members in dealing with family issues. With counselors, with their ethical commitment to fairness and the adolescent, counselors are encouraged to fully explor individuality, can be instrumental in providing the training or with their clients, the possible repercussions (both positiv arranging for the implementation of this approach. and negative) of coming out to their family (Morrow, 1993). Three key points to this approach include: It may be more beneficial for some to wait until they 1. In order to provide the needed support, all school staff become fully self-sufficient before taking the risk. Counselmembers must be educated regarding homosexuality; they ing can be critical during this time of decision making an must know the facts and be supportive. Since so much in the potential family conflict. world is uncertain for today's youth, their educational expeFamily members who become aware of an adolescent's rience should be safe and nonthreatening. homosexuality often seek help in dealing with anger, guil 2. Students need homosexual and heterosexual sex educaconcerns for the child's happiness, religious issues, and th tion. Homosexuality should be included in every discussion of own homophobic socialization (Hildago et al., parent's sexuality including dating and relationships, parenting, sexual1985). Family members must cope with the stigmatization of ly transmitted diseases, and services available. having a homosexual family member. It must be recognized 3. Administrative discrimination in the hiring of gay that and lesfamilies go through their own process of coming out. bian staff members must end.These teachers and counselors Families can benefit almost immediately with accurate inforshould be hired and valued as positive role models formation both and education regarding research about homosexuheterosexual and homosexual students. ality (Gonsiorek, 1988). Parents need to learn that evidence indicates that familial background appears to have nothing FAMILY ISSUES to do with the development of homosexuality or heterosexFamily relationships are a central concern for gayuality and and les-that their child is still the child they loved before bian adolescents. Borhek (1988) explains that there (Martin is con& Hetrick, 1988). Once this is recognized, counselors siderable tension and anxiety associated with two can basic provide support and validation to family members dealfeelings of grief over losing the image of questions: (l)"Should I come out to my parents?" ing andwith (2) normal "If so, how should I do it?" (p. 125). In families where theirhomochild's heterosexuality. phobia is the norm, it is no wonder that most gayFinally, and lescounselors can be effective by identifying combian adolescents remain secretive about their sexual orienmunity resources. Organizations such as Parents and Friends tation. With family recognition and acceptance being of so Lesbians and Gays can be invaluable in reducing the isoimportant, the questions posed by Borhek must be weighed lation and discomfort families often experience (Gonsiorek, very carefully. "Unfortunately parental rejection of the 1988). ado- Developing such a group, if none exists, would be 32 Professional School Counseling 1:3 February 1998 ASCA
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beneficial. More dysfunctional families may require family counseling or mental health services.
The Counselor's Role
Counselors are often in a good position to address the health issues and should possess the communication skills t HEALTH RISKS deal with the sensitive topic. Coleman and Remafedi (1989 Despite the widespread interest in the health ofbelieve the gay that it should be the responsibility of all counselor ensure that their adolescent clients have sufficient inforcommunity, the medical problems of gay and lesbian to adolescents have not been adequately investigated (Remafedi, mation to protect themselves from HIV infection. If they are
1987). The research consistently identified three already major infected, they must learn how to take care of their health risks for this population: (1) AIDS and sexually owntranshealth needs and protect others. Gay and lesbian adomitted diseases, (2) drug and alcohol abuse, and (3) lescents suicide need to feel safe and comfortable discussing issues (Dempsey, 1994; Hunter & Schaecher, 1994; Remafedi, such1987). as fear of HIV exposure, the need for HIV testing, test In a study conducted by Remafedi (1987), 53% ofresults, the gay safe sex practices, sexual orientation concerns, alcoand lesbian adolescents studied stated that they regularly haddrug use, and thoughts of suicide (Dempsey, 1994). hol and concerns regarding their physical health. Forty-five percent Hunter and Schaecher (1994) explain that "confidentiality had a history of sexually transmitted diseases. One of the issues are complex" (p. 351). Both HIV testing and medical problems faced by these at-risk adolescents is where to go for without parental consent can be difficult issues to treatment help. Who will help? Will I have to discuss my sexual deal orientawith. The gay/lesbian adolescent may not want anyone elsemany to know about his or her diagnosis, and the counselor tion? Will my parents find out? These are a few of the and/or clinician must determine whether violating confidenquestions gay and lesbian adolescents must ask themselves. To date, the Centers for Disease Control reportstiality 13,141 to protect third parties in sexual relationships is warcases of AIDS in the United States for persons aged 13-24 ranted. The relevance of the Tarasoff decision, a case in Cali(Hunter & Schaecher, 1994). Given the long incubation fornia in which a therapist failed to warn a third party of period between HIV infection and the development of AIDS, impending danger and the person was subsequently murdered, to AIDS cases has been established (Reamer, 1991). most cases detected in young adults (20-24 years old) occurred during the adolescent years. Although most gay To alleviate these ethical difficulties, Hunter and Schaecher male adolescents tend to be fairly knowledgeable about HIV (1994) state that accurate knowledge and training are critical. infection and other sexually transmitted diseases, Remafedi Every counseling professional should have other professionals (1987) states that 44% of those studied reported never using to whom he or she can turn when treatment issues become a condom. Gay adolescents do not seek condoms for fear of complicated or are beyond the individual's expertise. Counselors also need to increase their awareness of evibeing found out. In addition, many have the "it can't happen dence, indicators, or themes of victimization; suicidal tendento me," invincible attitude.Teens are very impulsive and have a limited perspective on the future, failing to see that "today's cies; or substance abuse in clients; particularly among those who are uncomfortable with their sexual orientation (Morbehaviors affect their future" (Dempsey, 1994, p. 163). While our society is focused on prevention, gay and lesbian adoles- row, 1993). The "bottom line," as described by Gonsiorek cents are many times misinformed, underinformed, and are (1988), is that "general competence, specific knowledge of gay denied access to resources. and lesbian issues, sensitivity, and freedom from bias are the Many gay and lesbian adolescents abuse drugs and alco-desired in someone who provides services to gay and qualities hol. This is done in an effort to decrease or temporarily allelesbian youth. Sexual orientation of the provider is much less viate their emotional pain (Dempsey, 1994). In a nonclinical important and does not predict the above qualities" (p. 121). sample of gay and lesbian adolescents, 58% reported that AND CONCLUSIONS they regularly abuse substances (Whitlock, 1989). SUMMARY Consequences of substance abuse include drug trafficking Adolescent and homosexuality is certainly, in the world prostitution to support the habit, and impaired decisionwhich we live, a double negative. Adolescence by itself making capabilities (Remafedi, 1987). difficult developmental stage, fraught with change and tu Suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers moil. It is only made more complicated by being gay or (Fikar, 1992). However, researchers have failed to examine sexbian. Need homosexuality be complicated? Are the ba ual orientation in their inquiries about adolescent suicide, andof homosexuality, the feelings, the questions, and t issues the media often identify many suicides as accidents toproblems avoid that different than those faced by heterosex the issue of homosexuality (Coleman & Remafedi, The 1989). A answer to these questions is no. The difficulties are cr study conducted by Fikar (1992) found that whereasated 1 inby 10 the stigmatization and myths surrounding homos heterosexual adolescents attempt suicide, 3 of 10 homosexuuality, perpetuated by a homophobic society. Studies h al adolescents attempt suicide. Although the primary precipishown that homophobia is worse among people who h tating cause was family problems (44%), 30% identified pernever knowingly met a homosexual (Anderson, 1994). sonal and interpersonal turmoil regarding their homosexual easy to hate a population when you have no personal at risk involved. What is difficult is to become knowlidentity as the precipitating cause. Risk factors for gayment and or lesbian adolescent suicide include disclosure of sexual identity at about that population and understand that they too edgeable an early age, low self-esteem, running away, substanceare abuse, people, who like all others, deserve respect and freedom.
prostitution, depression, and atypical gender behavior (Remafedi, Farrow, & Deisher, 1991).
I believe that it is not important who knows your sexual orientation, but that you can accept yourself for who and what Professional School Counseling 1:3 February 1998 ASCA 33
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you are and, by doing so, be happy. When you become secure
REFERENCES
in who you are, then decisions to tell others can be made. If you are not secure in who you are, then it may be that you haven't really looked at the realities of being homosexual. I believe that disclosure should be optional. Coming out is
Anderson, J. (1994). School climate for gay and lesbian students and sta
difficult for adult homosexuals. It seems to me that this is an
Coleman, E., & Remafedi, G. (1989). Gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual adolescent
members. Phi Delta Kappan, 4 , 151-154.
Borhek, M. (1988). Helping gay and lesbian adolescents and their fami
Journal of Adolescent Health Care , 9, 123-128.
unnecessary added pressure for the gay/lesbian adolescent.critical challenge to counselors. Journal of Counseling and Develo There is so much at risk. It would be wonderful if we could
ment ; 68, 36-40.
all be accepting and caring toward all people. The reality Dank, is B.(1971).
Coming out in the gay world. Psychiatry, 34, 180-197.
that it is a cruel world, and homosexuals must learn the art of Dempsey, C. (1994). Health and social issues of gay, lesbian, and bi-se selective sharing to be happy and to stay safe.The counselor's adolescents. Families in Society: The Journal of Contemporary Hum Services, 75(3), 160-167. role is to help clients achieve a level of self-understanding
and acceptance, regardless of their decision to tell others.Erikson, E. (1963). Childhood and society (2nd. ed.). NewYork:W.W. Nort As counselors, we must examine our own values and Feinstein, S., & Looney, J. (Eds.). (1982). Adolescent psychiatry: Volume become aware of our own homophobia and how it effects our Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Fikar, C. (1992). Gay teens and suicide. Pediatrics, 89, 519-520. work with clients of any sexual orientation. Being nonjudgGonsiorek, J. (1988). Mental health issues of gay and lesbian adolesce mental, accepting professionals who will maintain confidentiality is the first step. We must understand the process byJournal of Adolescent Health Care, 9, 114-122.
which gay and lesbian adolescents are stigmatized in our soci-Hildalgo, H., Peterson, T.& Woodman, J. (Eds.). (1985). Lesbian and g ety, and we must assist in the eradication of homophobia. To issues: A resource manual for social workers. New York: National Ass do so, accurate information must be gathered and made avail- ciation of Social Workers, Inc. Hunter, J., & Schaecher, R. (1994). AIDS prevention for lesbian, gay, and able to others who are or might be working with gay and lesbian adolescents. This includes teachers and school adminis-
sexual adolescents. Families in Society: The Journal of Contempor
Human Services, 75(6), 346-354. trations, parents, health care providers, and other professionals Martin, in the community. In an effort to make effective referrals, con- A., & Hetrick, E. (1988).The stigmatization of the gay and lesbian ad tacts should be made to produce a list of community agencies lescent, Journal of Homosexuality, 15, 163-183. that provide services for gay and lesbian adolescents. Maylon,A. (1981). The homosexual adolescent: Developmental issues a Counselors must learn to recognize indicators of drug and social bias. Child Welfare, 6(Ķ 5), 321-330. alcohol abuse and suicidal risks. In addition, accurate inforMorrow, D. (1993). Social work with gay and lesbian adolescents. Soc
mation regarding sexually transmitted diseases, as well as preventative measures, must be made available. Since self-esteem
Work, 38(6), 655-660.
Reamer, F. (1991). AIDS, social work, and the "duty to protect". Soc
is often an issue, understanding self-esteem and knowing esteem building techniques would be beneficial as well. The development of support groups for gay and lesbian adolescents is beneficial, providing opportunities for devel-
Remafedi, G., Farrow, J., & Deisher, R. (1991). Risk factors for attempted s
oping social skills, discussing sexual identity, finding support from peers, and sharing information.They provide a sense of
Savin-Williams, R. (1994). Verbal and physical abuse as stressors in the l
universality and normalize experiences. This group could be co-facilitated by a male and a female (in order to address issues for both sexes) who could direct the group members to appropriate medical, mental health, substance abuse, and other services as needed.
Work, 36, 56-60.
Remafedi, G. (1987). Adolescent homosexuality: Psychosocial and med implications. Pediatrics, 790), 33 1 -337. cide in gay and lesbian youth .Pediatrics, 87, 869-875.
of lesbian, gay male, and bi-sexual youths: Associations with school pr
lems, running away, substance abuse, prostitution, and suicide. Jour
of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 62(2), 261-269.
Troiden, R. (1988). Homosexual identity development. Journal of Ado cent Health Care, 9, 105-113.
Counselors must be role models of respect and acceptance Whitlock, K. (1989). Bridges of respect: Creating support for lesbian and of diversity among people, including gay and lesbian people.gay youth (2nd ed.). Philadelphia: American Friends Service Committee.
34 Professional School Counseling 1:3 February 1998 ASCA
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American School Counselor Association is collaborating with JSTOR to digitize, preserve and extend access to Professional School Counseling
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Gay and Lesbian Adolescents: Presenting Problems and the Counselor's Role
Jonna J. Cooley
Adolescence person's physiologically, Adolescence young person' young s person'person's s life. is "Anatomically body changes one bodylife. rapidly" of changes"Anatomically the(Borhek, most and rapidly" 1988, chaoticand physiologically, (Borhek, periods 1988, inthe the a p. 1 23). Identity development is a key issue in this stage of life.
Because of the difficulty in developing a healthy identity in a homophobic world, gay and lesbian adolescents are an at-risk population. While the American Psychiatric Association voted
in 1973 to depathologize homosexuality, this change did not eliminate the social stigmatization nor dispel the myths asso-
ciated with homosexuality. Even after further research and much media attention, our "enlightened society" still jails homosexuals for engaging privately in homosexual practices, excludes partners from intensive care units, denies partners participation in life-or-death decisions regarding medical situ-
ations, and gays and lesbians are legally denied both public and private employment (Hildalgo, Peterson, & Woodman, 1985). Homosexuals are an oppressed minority. Although homosexuals have come a long way, clearly they still have a long way to go. Both adult and adolescent homosexuals face many problems and receive little support.These problems and the lack of support exist because we, as a society, fail to understand homosexuality. As counselors today, we need to gain the necessary knowledge, understand the presenting problems, and help these adolescents. It is important to note early on that advocating on the behalf of a group so despised and misunderstood will not be an easy task. As an advocate you may be ostracized, ridiculed, and possibly even labeled by some individuals within the school system, parents, and community members. The fact is that it is easier for most individuals to deny that there is a problem than to learn the facts and make positive changes. With the facts, we as counselors can make a difference. I have defined five major presenting problems: (1) development of social identity, (2) isolation, (3) educational issues, (4) family issues, and (5) health risks. Following the summary of research for each problem, I have identified the counselor's
sense of identity, and social skills. Each aspect of devel ment can be difficult to acquire for gay and lesbian ado
cents, who come to realize that they are different from t
peers (Morrow, 1993). In this developmental period, wh pressure to conform is the norm, being different can stressful. While their peers incessantly discuss the worl heterosexual relationships and exploration, gay and lesb adolescents may either isolate themselves for fear of re tion or deny their sexual orientation. Concealing one's s
al identity builds protective walls and is emotionally drain
(Feinstein & Looney, 1982). Troiden (1988) describes a four-stage model for the attai ment of a healthy gay/lesbian identity. 1. Sensitization. This stage is characterized by general feelings of marginality, perceptions of being different fr same sex peers. This is the period when the young per learns the social identity of a homosexual. 2. Identity Confusion. Homosexuality is personalized d ing this stage. There are many sources of identity confusi ranging from social condemnation to misinformation rega ing homosexuality. Same-sex attractions become apparen 3- Identity Assumption. At this stage the homosexual i tity is established and shared with others. The gay/les adolescent achieves self-definition as a homosexual and
begins associating with other homosexuals and experime sexually.
4. Commitment. "A commitment is a feeling of obligation to follow a particular course of action" (p. 1 10). In the homosexual context, it means adopting a way of life. This is indi-
cated by same-sex love relationships and stigma-management strategies.
The homosexual identity, as outlined by Troiden (1988), develops over a prolonged period of time. Not all homosexual individuals successfully complete all four stages. It is his
belief that only those who do will "achieve the hoped-for fusion of sexual identity and emotionality" (p. 112).
Martin and Hetrick 1988) indicated that a primary developmental task for homosexual adolescents is adjusting to a DEVELOPMENT OF SOCIAL IDENTITY socially stigmatized role. Verbal and physical abuse from According to Erikson (1963), identity formation thestressor. Gay and lesbian adolescents witness peers is is a major most important developmental task of adolescence. the cruelPeer comments, jokes, and name-calling (Savin-Williams, group interactions and acceptance are crucial to1994). the Rejection identi-by peers need not be experienced directly ty formation process. The framework of general in order adolescent to cut deeply. Many observe the treatment of peers and clearly understand what could happen to them if they development includes the development of self-esteem, a
role for intervention, treatment, and/or instituting change.
appear different. Gay and lesbian youth lack positive role models. They are
aware of homosexual stereotypes, such as "Homosexuals cannot form loving relationships... they are sexually promiscuous... theyCounare unhappy, and they prey on and seduce chilJonna J. Cooley is a graduate student, Human Development seling, at the University of Illinois at Springfield. dren" (Dempsey, 1994, p.l6l). 30 Professional School Counseling 1:3 February 1998 ASCA
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So what do these very scared and socially underdeveloped adolescents do? Many successfully blend with their
straight peers and families. They may date and become sexually involved;
preparation for management of social identity of homosexuals is a major differ-
The counselor's role
some girls even become pregnant, in an
IS TO HELP CLIENTS
effort to deny their sexual orientation achieve a level of selfto themselves and others. Some may become involved in academics, sports, understanding AND or extracurricular activities while others may withdraw from typical teenage
ACCEPTANCE,
social experiences and activities all together.
REGARDLESS OF THEIR The Counselor's Role
The helping profession has historiDECISION TO TELL OTHERS cally been in the forefront of advocating on behalf of minority groups.
entiator between homosexual adolescents and their heterosexual counter-
parts in other minority groups. Dank (1971) highlighted this difference when
he wrote: "The parents of a Negro [sic] can communicate to their child that he is
a Negro and what it is like to be a Negro,
but the parents of a person who is to become homosexual do not prepare their child to be a homosexual - they are not homosexual themselves and they do not communicate to him what it is like to
be a homosexual" (p. 181). What happens, due to the lack of accurate information, is that the gay or
lesbian adolescents will experience cognitive dissonance. The standards they advocating for the dignity and human have incorporated from society equip them to be cognizant to what others see as their failings, rights of all gay and lesbian people, particularly adolescents" (Morrow, 1993, p.658). Intervention focused on developing inevitably causing them to agree that they do fall short of what they really ought to be. Shame becomes an issue arising from positive self-acceptance and building self-esteem is essential. Counselors must become aware of their own homophothe individual's perception of his or her attributes as being bia. It is important to avoid a heterosexual bias of assuming repulsive (Martin & Hetrick, 1988). Gay and lesbian adolesthat all clients are heterosexual. Counselors must be cents, willing in their isolation and with their internalized homophobia, In feel that no one else is like them or that no one can love to explore sexual orientation with adolescent clients. order to do this, there must be an understanding of thebecause being gay is wrong and sick. Some even feel that them it may be better to die. developmental stages and challenges of both heterosexual and homosexual youth (Dempsey, 1994). In addition, counCounselor's Role selors need to accurately educate themselves about The homoGay and lesbian adolescents experiencing isolation feel sexuality so that they can dispel inaccurate myths and negative stereotypes. They must also educate clients. that they are alone in the world and that they have no on with whom they can confide. Counselors need to be tha ISOLATION someone! Accurately informed, unbiased counselors can Individuals in our society are raised as members of begin severthe process to decrease isolation by undoing interna "Counselors need to come forward in
ized homophobia before patterns of self-defeating behaviors al groups. Some common groups include the family, religious (Gonsiorek, 1988). affiliation, and race. In some cases, many times notare byingrained choice, Coleman (Coleman & Remafedi, 1989) addresses the diswe find ourselves in a minority group. Martin and Hetrick
sonance by gay and lesbian adolescents. He (1988) state that "the major difference between gays experienced and statesthe that,gay "Counselors need to understand dissonance as an members of other minority groups occurs because person becomes a member of the group during expected adolescence part of gay and lesbian adolescent development. rather than at birth" (p. 52). They must be willing to engage in dialogue with clients For most gay and lesbian adolescents, their sexual about oriendissonance and to support clients in clarifying their tation is not obvious to others and the rewards forfeelings being norabout sexual orientation" (p.658). Counselors may be the only safe haven for a gay/lesbian adolescent to mal are so great that those who can pass for being normal will generally do so. "This deception distorts almost all relaexplore such frightening and confusing feelings. tionships the adolescent may attempt to develop or maintain
and creates an increasing sense of isolation" (Feinstein & Looney, 1982, p.58). The adolescent realizes that his/her membership in the approved group, whether it be a sports team, the classroom, or the family, is based on a lie.This reinforces the belief that he or she is not truly a member of the
group even though membership is maintained. One problem of keeping one's sexual orientation hidden is
the ever-present need to self-monitor (Dempsey, 1994). This cognitive isolation reflects the "almost total lack of accurate information available to gay and lesbian adolescents" (Martin & Hetrick, 1988, p.l67).This lack of information and the lack of
EDUCATIONAL ISSUES
Anderson (1994) states, "In every class in every scho throughout the country there are students who are n being given an equal education.... We do little, in most c
nothing, to prepare them for a world that reviles them or
support them in a school environment in which they called faggots and dykes"(p.l51).The message that he wo
like to see taught in our schools is "you may be gay and th okay" (p. 151).
This unequal education spans from the classroom to t
school administration. Morrow (1993), as a part of a study, s
Professional School Counseling 1:3 February 1998 ASCA 31
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veyed teachers and administrators asking them to respond to
lescent, at least initially, is a common outcome" (Morrow,
the needs of gay and lesbian students. The teacher respondents said that their schools were not promoting tolerance
1993,p.656).
providing a fair, nonhomophobic education. Many of the school-based problems experienced by gay and lesbian adolescents are in response to the verbal and physical abuse they receive from peers. Forms of violence range from gaybashing (name calling) to physical attacks
As with isolation, family issues may create cognitive dissonance.This arises from a knowledge of the families expectations. This sense of contradiction and failure, in turn, leads to guilt, shame, anger, and a not-unfounded fear of rejection (Martin & Hetrick, 1988). Many individuals will cope with feelings of inferiority by pleasing others.This behavior often leads to loss of identity, self-neglect, disregard for personal needs, and destructive habits of caretaking (Hildalgo et al.,
(Savin-Williams, 1994). The consequences for the victim
1985).
and acceptance of homosexuality. The administration respondents were confident that their schools were doing just fine;
include poor school performance, truancy, and dropping out
of school. Homophobic harassment is not addressed by
Violence against gay and lesbian adolescents often takes place in the home, perpetrated by family members. In a study
teachers, who fear for their own job security should they be
conducted by Gonsiorek (1988), gay and lesbian youth dis-
known as supporters of homosexuality (Whitlock, 1989). According to Morrow (1993) truancy and dropping out are taken as evidence that sexual minority youth are a par-
closed that they fear retribution more from fathers than from
mothers. This study also found that 22% had been sexually abused by a family member following the discovery or dis-
ticularly problematic population. Yet this behavior should be
closure of their sexual orientation.A study by Maylon (1981)
seen as a coping strategy, necessary because authorities fail to provide a safe learning environment. I would echo SavinWilliams' (1994) view that "gay and lesbian adolescents are the loneliest people in the typical high school of today"
found that nearly one-half of gay male youth and one-third of lesbian youth have run away at least once in their lives. Many
(p.264).
of the runaway or throwaway (youths thrown out of the home by parents) adolescents left home after arguing with their parents. By leaving, gay and lesbian adolescents avoid verbal, physical, and sexual abuse and maintain the family
The Counselor's Role
secret, but they also face, in a vulnerable state, a world that Education institutions, in general, must move toward deis ready to exploit them. stigmatizing homosexuality. Anderson (1994) outlines a fiveThe Counselor's Role step approach: (a) professional development, (b) support staff and services, (c) sexuality in the health curriculum, (d) Counselors can help the gay/lesbian adolescents as we library services, and (e) general curricula changes. as School their family members in dealing with family issues. With counselors, with their ethical commitment to fairness and the adolescent, counselors are encouraged to fully explor individuality, can be instrumental in providing the training or with their clients, the possible repercussions (both positiv arranging for the implementation of this approach. and negative) of coming out to their family (Morrow, 1993). Three key points to this approach include: It may be more beneficial for some to wait until they 1. In order to provide the needed support, all school staff become fully self-sufficient before taking the risk. Counselmembers must be educated regarding homosexuality; they ing can be critical during this time of decision making an must know the facts and be supportive. Since so much in the potential family conflict. world is uncertain for today's youth, their educational expeFamily members who become aware of an adolescent's rience should be safe and nonthreatening. homosexuality often seek help in dealing with anger, guil 2. Students need homosexual and heterosexual sex educaconcerns for the child's happiness, religious issues, and th tion. Homosexuality should be included in every discussion of own homophobic socialization (Hildago et al., parent's sexuality including dating and relationships, parenting, sexual1985). Family members must cope with the stigmatization of ly transmitted diseases, and services available. having a homosexual family member. It must be recognized 3. Administrative discrimination in the hiring of gay that and lesfamilies go through their own process of coming out. bian staff members must end.These teachers and counselors Families can benefit almost immediately with accurate inforshould be hired and valued as positive role models formation both and education regarding research about homosexuheterosexual and homosexual students. ality (Gonsiorek, 1988). Parents need to learn that evidence indicates that familial background appears to have nothing FAMILY ISSUES to do with the development of homosexuality or heterosexFamily relationships are a central concern for gayuality and and les-that their child is still the child they loved before bian adolescents. Borhek (1988) explains that there (Martin is con& Hetrick, 1988). Once this is recognized, counselors siderable tension and anxiety associated with two can basic provide support and validation to family members dealfeelings of grief over losing the image of questions: (l)"Should I come out to my parents?" ing andwith (2) normal "If so, how should I do it?" (p. 125). In families where theirhomochild's heterosexuality. phobia is the norm, it is no wonder that most gayFinally, and lescounselors can be effective by identifying combian adolescents remain secretive about their sexual orienmunity resources. Organizations such as Parents and Friends tation. With family recognition and acceptance being of so Lesbians and Gays can be invaluable in reducing the isoimportant, the questions posed by Borhek must be weighed lation and discomfort families often experience (Gonsiorek, very carefully. "Unfortunately parental rejection of the 1988). ado- Developing such a group, if none exists, would be 32 Professional School Counseling 1:3 February 1998 ASCA
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beneficial. More dysfunctional families may require family counseling or mental health services.
The Counselor's Role
Counselors are often in a good position to address the health issues and should possess the communication skills t HEALTH RISKS deal with the sensitive topic. Coleman and Remafedi (1989 Despite the widespread interest in the health ofbelieve the gay that it should be the responsibility of all counselor ensure that their adolescent clients have sufficient inforcommunity, the medical problems of gay and lesbian to adolescents have not been adequately investigated (Remafedi, mation to protect themselves from HIV infection. If they are
1987). The research consistently identified three already major infected, they must learn how to take care of their health risks for this population: (1) AIDS and sexually owntranshealth needs and protect others. Gay and lesbian adomitted diseases, (2) drug and alcohol abuse, and (3) lescents suicide need to feel safe and comfortable discussing issues (Dempsey, 1994; Hunter & Schaecher, 1994; Remafedi, such1987). as fear of HIV exposure, the need for HIV testing, test In a study conducted by Remafedi (1987), 53% ofresults, the gay safe sex practices, sexual orientation concerns, alcoand lesbian adolescents studied stated that they regularly haddrug use, and thoughts of suicide (Dempsey, 1994). hol and concerns regarding their physical health. Forty-five percent Hunter and Schaecher (1994) explain that "confidentiality had a history of sexually transmitted diseases. One of the issues are complex" (p. 351). Both HIV testing and medical problems faced by these at-risk adolescents is where to go for without parental consent can be difficult issues to treatment help. Who will help? Will I have to discuss my sexual deal orientawith. The gay/lesbian adolescent may not want anyone elsemany to know about his or her diagnosis, and the counselor tion? Will my parents find out? These are a few of the and/or clinician must determine whether violating confidenquestions gay and lesbian adolescents must ask themselves. To date, the Centers for Disease Control reportstiality 13,141 to protect third parties in sexual relationships is warcases of AIDS in the United States for persons aged 13-24 ranted. The relevance of the Tarasoff decision, a case in Cali(Hunter & Schaecher, 1994). Given the long incubation fornia in which a therapist failed to warn a third party of period between HIV infection and the development of AIDS, impending danger and the person was subsequently murdered, to AIDS cases has been established (Reamer, 1991). most cases detected in young adults (20-24 years old) occurred during the adolescent years. Although most gay To alleviate these ethical difficulties, Hunter and Schaecher male adolescents tend to be fairly knowledgeable about HIV (1994) state that accurate knowledge and training are critical. infection and other sexually transmitted diseases, Remafedi Every counseling professional should have other professionals (1987) states that 44% of those studied reported never using to whom he or she can turn when treatment issues become a condom. Gay adolescents do not seek condoms for fear of complicated or are beyond the individual's expertise. Counselors also need to increase their awareness of evibeing found out. In addition, many have the "it can't happen dence, indicators, or themes of victimization; suicidal tendento me," invincible attitude.Teens are very impulsive and have a limited perspective on the future, failing to see that "today's cies; or substance abuse in clients; particularly among those who are uncomfortable with their sexual orientation (Morbehaviors affect their future" (Dempsey, 1994, p. 163). While our society is focused on prevention, gay and lesbian adoles- row, 1993). The "bottom line," as described by Gonsiorek cents are many times misinformed, underinformed, and are (1988), is that "general competence, specific knowledge of gay denied access to resources. and lesbian issues, sensitivity, and freedom from bias are the Many gay and lesbian adolescents abuse drugs and alco-desired in someone who provides services to gay and qualities hol. This is done in an effort to decrease or temporarily allelesbian youth. Sexual orientation of the provider is much less viate their emotional pain (Dempsey, 1994). In a nonclinical important and does not predict the above qualities" (p. 121). sample of gay and lesbian adolescents, 58% reported that AND CONCLUSIONS they regularly abuse substances (Whitlock, 1989). SUMMARY Consequences of substance abuse include drug trafficking Adolescent and homosexuality is certainly, in the world prostitution to support the habit, and impaired decisionwhich we live, a double negative. Adolescence by itself making capabilities (Remafedi, 1987). difficult developmental stage, fraught with change and tu Suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers moil. It is only made more complicated by being gay or (Fikar, 1992). However, researchers have failed to examine sexbian. Need homosexuality be complicated? Are the ba ual orientation in their inquiries about adolescent suicide, andof homosexuality, the feelings, the questions, and t issues the media often identify many suicides as accidents toproblems avoid that different than those faced by heterosex the issue of homosexuality (Coleman & Remafedi, The 1989). A answer to these questions is no. The difficulties are cr study conducted by Fikar (1992) found that whereasated 1 inby 10 the stigmatization and myths surrounding homos heterosexual adolescents attempt suicide, 3 of 10 homosexuuality, perpetuated by a homophobic society. Studies h al adolescents attempt suicide. Although the primary precipishown that homophobia is worse among people who h tating cause was family problems (44%), 30% identified pernever knowingly met a homosexual (Anderson, 1994). sonal and interpersonal turmoil regarding their homosexual easy to hate a population when you have no personal at risk involved. What is difficult is to become knowlidentity as the precipitating cause. Risk factors for gayment and or lesbian adolescent suicide include disclosure of sexual identity at about that population and understand that they too edgeable an early age, low self-esteem, running away, substanceare abuse, people, who like all others, deserve respect and freedom.
prostitution, depression, and atypical gender behavior (Remafedi, Farrow, & Deisher, 1991).
I believe that it is not important who knows your sexual orientation, but that you can accept yourself for who and what Professional School Counseling 1:3 February 1998 ASCA 33
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you are and, by doing so, be happy. When you become secure
REFERENCES
in who you are, then decisions to tell others can be made. If you are not secure in who you are, then it may be that you haven't really looked at the realities of being homosexual. I believe that disclosure should be optional. Coming out is
Anderson, J. (1994). School climate for gay and lesbian students and sta
difficult for adult homosexuals. It seems to me that this is an
Coleman, E., & Remafedi, G. (1989). Gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual adolescent
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Borhek, M. (1988). Helping gay and lesbian adolescents and their fami
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all be accepting and caring toward all people. The reality Dank, is B.(1971).
Coming out in the gay world. Psychiatry, 34, 180-197.
that it is a cruel world, and homosexuals must learn the art of Dempsey, C. (1994). Health and social issues of gay, lesbian, and bi-se selective sharing to be happy and to stay safe.The counselor's adolescents. Families in Society: The Journal of Contemporary Hum Services, 75(3), 160-167. role is to help clients achieve a level of self-understanding
and acceptance, regardless of their decision to tell others.Erikson, E. (1963). Childhood and society (2nd. ed.). NewYork:W.W. Nort As counselors, we must examine our own values and Feinstein, S., & Looney, J. (Eds.). (1982). Adolescent psychiatry: Volume become aware of our own homophobia and how it effects our Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Fikar, C. (1992). Gay teens and suicide. Pediatrics, 89, 519-520. work with clients of any sexual orientation. Being nonjudgGonsiorek, J. (1988). Mental health issues of gay and lesbian adolesce mental, accepting professionals who will maintain confidentiality is the first step. We must understand the process byJournal of Adolescent Health Care, 9, 114-122.
which gay and lesbian adolescents are stigmatized in our soci-Hildalgo, H., Peterson, T.& Woodman, J. (Eds.). (1985). Lesbian and g ety, and we must assist in the eradication of homophobia. To issues: A resource manual for social workers. New York: National Ass do so, accurate information must be gathered and made avail- ciation of Social Workers, Inc. Hunter, J., & Schaecher, R. (1994). AIDS prevention for lesbian, gay, and able to others who are or might be working with gay and lesbian adolescents. This includes teachers and school adminis-
sexual adolescents. Families in Society: The Journal of Contempor
Human Services, 75(6), 346-354. trations, parents, health care providers, and other professionals Martin, in the community. In an effort to make effective referrals, con- A., & Hetrick, E. (1988).The stigmatization of the gay and lesbian ad tacts should be made to produce a list of community agencies lescent, Journal of Homosexuality, 15, 163-183. that provide services for gay and lesbian adolescents. Maylon,A. (1981). The homosexual adolescent: Developmental issues a Counselors must learn to recognize indicators of drug and social bias. Child Welfare, 6(Ķ 5), 321-330. alcohol abuse and suicidal risks. In addition, accurate inforMorrow, D. (1993). Social work with gay and lesbian adolescents. Soc
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Reamer, F. (1991). AIDS, social work, and the "duty to protect". Soc
is often an issue, understanding self-esteem and knowing esteem building techniques would be beneficial as well. The development of support groups for gay and lesbian adolescents is beneficial, providing opportunities for devel-
Remafedi, G., Farrow, J., & Deisher, R. (1991). Risk factors for attempted s
oping social skills, discussing sexual identity, finding support from peers, and sharing information.They provide a sense of
Savin-Williams, R. (1994). Verbal and physical abuse as stressors in the l
universality and normalize experiences. This group could be co-facilitated by a male and a female (in order to address issues for both sexes) who could direct the group members to appropriate medical, mental health, substance abuse, and other services as needed.
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Remafedi, G. (1987). Adolescent homosexuality: Psychosocial and med implications. Pediatrics, 790), 33 1 -337. cide in gay and lesbian youth .Pediatrics, 87, 869-875.
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Counselors must be role models of respect and acceptance Whitlock, K. (1989). Bridges of respect: Creating support for lesbian and of diversity among people, including gay and lesbian people.gay youth (2nd ed.). Philadelphia: American Friends Service Committee.
34 Professional School Counseling 1:3 February 1998 ASCA
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