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Warning labels
Warning labels The Last Word
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ave you ever felt that the authorities or lawyers have too much control over your life? By authorities I mean the federal, state and local governments and even down to home owner associations. These groups have decided on how you are to behave and live your life safely and through their wisdom they have provided the masses with warning labels and hence the title of this column. Where is personal responsibility in this equation? As a child I remember seeing the tag on my bed mattress, ‘‘Do not remove under penalty of law’’. Since it was hanging loose and nearly completely detached, I was sure the mattress police would soon descend on my house. Years later I would learn that this warning was not written for me personally, but to the vendor who sold the mattress in the first place. I have always wondered why this little bit of information was not also printed on the tag? Have you checked your car recently for warnings? Your auto sun visors are covered with airbag warning labels that are virtually impossible to remove. Why does the government feel we need to read this warning more than once? For special emphasis the warnings are also printed in French so I could prevent harm to any French babies driving my car. I wonder if I ever removed this label would I be able to sell the car or would a release from the government sun visor police be necessary. If you can take your eyes off the airbag warning long enough, take the time to check out the passenger side view mirror. Federal regulations (FMCSA—Regulation: 571.111) require that convex mirrors require the following warning be provided: S5.4 Convex mirror requirements. Each motor vehicle using a convex mirror to meet the requirements of S5.3 shall comply with the following requirements: S5.4.2 Each convex mirror shall have permanently and indelibly marked at the lower edge of the mirror’s reflective surface, in letters not less than 4.8 mm or more than 6.4 mm high the words ‘‘Objects in Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear’’. If you try to drive off without your seat belt fastened; lights will flash and buzzers will buzz. Don’t even think about it. Don’t top off your fuel tank either. Not all the warning labels are government mandated. Many are driven by an overzealous legal system and the predatory lawyers who prey upon product producers by filing frivolous
1871-5532/$32.00 doi:10.1016/j.jchas.2008.09.002
lawsuits seeking big payoffs. Ever since the infamous McDonalds coffee burn lawsuit generously rewarded a woman customer for scalding herself by driving away with a cup between her legs, everything is fair game. In order to protect themselves, vendors and manufacturers put warning labels on everything imaginable. M-LAW, the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch has a website (www.wackywarnings. com) where they run an annual Wacky Warning Label contest. They recently completed their 11th year. The 2007 winner was a tractor label entitled: DANGER: AVOID DEATH. I am sure every tractor owner tried to follow this one. One of my favorites from past years was one that appeared on a baby stroller: CAUTION: REMOVE BABY BEFORE FOLDING STROLLER. A few more of some past winners are listed as follows: A brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end warns: ‘‘Harmful if swallowed’’. A popular scooter for children warns: ‘‘This product moves when used’’. A digital thermometer that can be used to take a person’s temperature several different ways warns: ‘‘Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally’’. A household iron warns users: ‘‘Never iron clothes while they are being worn’’. A label on a hair dryer reads, ‘‘Never use hair dryer while sleeping’’. A warning on an electric drill made for carpenters cautions: ‘‘This product not intended for use as a dental drill’’. The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: ‘‘If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product’’. A smoke detector warns: ‘‘Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire’’. A cartridge for a laser printer warns, ‘‘Do not eat toner’’. A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: ‘‘May irritate eyes’’. A dishwasher carries this warning: ‘‘Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher’’. A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: ‘‘Caution—Risk of Fire’’. I have wondered who writes these warnings? Is there a special training course needed to do this sort of thing. Seen any good warning labels recently, send them into M-LAW!
ß Division of Chemical Health and Safety of the American Chemical Society Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
43
H
ave you ever felt that the authorities or lawyers have too much control over your life? By authorities I mean the federal, state and local governments and even down to home owner associations. These groups have decided on how you are to behave and live your life safely and through their wisdom they have provided the masses with warning labels and hence the title of this column. Where is personal responsibility in this equation? As a child I remember seeing the tag on my bed mattress, ‘‘Do not remove under penalty of law’’. Since it was hanging loose and nearly completely detached, I was sure the mattress police would soon descend on my house. Years later I would learn that this warning was not written for me personally, but to the vendor who sold the mattress in the first place. I have always wondered why this little bit of information was not also printed on the tag? Have you checked your car recently for warnings? Your auto sun visors are covered with airbag warning labels that are virtually impossible to remove. Why does the government feel we need to read this warning more than once? For special emphasis the warnings are also printed in French so I could prevent harm to any French babies driving my car. I wonder if I ever removed this label would I be able to sell the car or would a release from the government sun visor police be necessary. If you can take your eyes off the airbag warning long enough, take the time to check out the passenger side view mirror. Federal regulations (FMCSA—Regulation: 571.111) require that convex mirrors require the following warning be provided: S5.4 Convex mirror requirements. Each motor vehicle using a convex mirror to meet the requirements of S5.3 shall comply with the following requirements: S5.4.2 Each convex mirror shall have permanently and indelibly marked at the lower edge of the mirror’s reflective surface, in letters not less than 4.8 mm or more than 6.4 mm high the words ‘‘Objects in Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear’’. If you try to drive off without your seat belt fastened; lights will flash and buzzers will buzz. Don’t even think about it. Don’t top off your fuel tank either. Not all the warning labels are government mandated. Many are driven by an overzealous legal system and the predatory lawyers who prey upon product producers by filing frivolous
1871-5532/$32.00 doi:10.1016/j.jchas.2008.09.002
lawsuits seeking big payoffs. Ever since the infamous McDonalds coffee burn lawsuit generously rewarded a woman customer for scalding herself by driving away with a cup between her legs, everything is fair game. In order to protect themselves, vendors and manufacturers put warning labels on everything imaginable. M-LAW, the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch has a website (www.wackywarnings. com) where they run an annual Wacky Warning Label contest. They recently completed their 11th year. The 2007 winner was a tractor label entitled: DANGER: AVOID DEATH. I am sure every tractor owner tried to follow this one. One of my favorites from past years was one that appeared on a baby stroller: CAUTION: REMOVE BABY BEFORE FOLDING STROLLER. A few more of some past winners are listed as follows: A brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end warns: ‘‘Harmful if swallowed’’. A popular scooter for children warns: ‘‘This product moves when used’’. A digital thermometer that can be used to take a person’s temperature several different ways warns: ‘‘Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally’’. A household iron warns users: ‘‘Never iron clothes while they are being worn’’. A label on a hair dryer reads, ‘‘Never use hair dryer while sleeping’’. A warning on an electric drill made for carpenters cautions: ‘‘This product not intended for use as a dental drill’’. The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: ‘‘If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product’’. A smoke detector warns: ‘‘Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire’’. A cartridge for a laser printer warns, ‘‘Do not eat toner’’. A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: ‘‘May irritate eyes’’. A dishwasher carries this warning: ‘‘Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher’’. A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: ‘‘Caution—Risk of Fire’’. I have wondered who writes these warnings? Is there a special training course needed to do this sort of thing. Seen any good warning labels recently, send them into M-LAW!
ß Division of Chemical Health and Safety of the American Chemical Society Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
43