“Which home are we going back to?” Children's lived experiences after leaving shelters for battered women

Children and Youth Services Review 108 (2020) 104670

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“Which home are we going back to?” Children's lived experiences after leaving shelters for battered women

T

Anat Vass , Muhammad M. Haj-Yahia ⁎

Paul Baerwald School of Social Work and Social Welfare, The Hebrew University of Jerusalem, Mt. Scopus, Jerusalem 91905, Israel

ARTICLE INFO

ABSTRACT

Keywords: Shelters for battered women Intimate partner violence (IPV) Children exposed to IPV Children of battered women

Background: Shelters for battered women (SBW) are one of the main resources protecting battered women and their children from immediate threat, but the time the women can spend at the SBW is limited. Women and their children must leave the shelter when circumstances make it possible and rebuild their lives outside of it. To date, there has been a dearth of research examining how children perceive the transition from the SBW to the community and rebuild new personal and family routines. Objective: The present study explores the subjective perceptions of children of battered women of their transition from the SBW to the community. Participants: Thirty-two children (18 boys, and 14 girls) from Israel, who had resided in one of four SBWs, participated in the study. Methods: We used a qualitative, naturalistic approach, aimed at documenting children's subjective perceptions. The dataset was analyzed inductively, following the six stages of thematic analysis. Results: Three main themes emerged regarding the children’s experiences: (a) escape from the shelter versus leaving after preparation: the process of leaving the shelter; (b) types of living arrangements after leaving the shelter; and (c) implications of reestablishing the social network at school. Although some of the children evaluated their lived experiences after leaving the shelter positively, most of them reported mixed or negative experiences. Conclusions: The experiences of the children after leaving the shelter and their meanings back to the community are discussed. The implications of their experiences for theory development and future research, as well as for developing interventions, focusing on the children’s individual needs, when they return to live in the community are also discussed.

1. Introduction Shelters for battered women (SBW), are also known as domestic violence shelters, are used as a last resort for protecting women experiencing severe intimate partner violence (IPV) (Chanmugam, 2011; Haj-Yahia & Cohen, 2009; Helfrich, Fujiura, & Rutkowski-Kmitta, 2008; Shostack, 2001). Children exposed to severe IPV are usually removed to theses shelters from their homes, along with their battered mothers, by social welfare agencies or the police. Most of the time, SBWs serve as a short-term resource, aimed at providing temporary placement for women facing a threat and for their children (Lyon, Lane, & Menard, 2008; Tutty, Weaver, & Rothery, 1999). As soon as circumstances make it possible, residents must leave the shelter. After living in an SBW, the transition to community life can be challenging for the children because of multiple reasons. The challenges include the difficulty of

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reestablishing family routines, the transition from the collective lifestyle in the SBW to an independent lifestyle, the transition between schools, and the adaptation back to their previous surroundings and home, or to a new neighborhood and a different home. In the last three decades there has been increasing research interest in the implications of children's exposure to IPV (Edleson, 1999; Graham-Bermann , Castor, Miller, & Howell, 2012; Holt, Buckley, & Whelan, 2008; Jouriles & McDonald, 2015; McDonald, GrahamBermann, Maternick, Ascione, & Williams, 2016; Sargent, McDonald, Vu, & Jouriles, 2016). Much qualitative research has been conducted in this field, examining the experiences of children and youths in SBWs. Most of these studies, however, relied on the reports of mothers and of the professional staff regarding the children's experiences (Chanmugam, 2011; Haj-Yahia & Cohen, 2009; Helfrich et al., 2008). To date, to the best of our knowledge, children's subjective perceptions

Corresponding author at: Paul Baerwald School of Social Work and Social Welfare, The Hebrew University of Jerusalem, Mt. Scopus, Jerusalem 91905, Israel. E-mail addresses: [email protected] (A. Vass), [email protected] (M.M. Haj-Yahia).

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2019.104670 Received 16 July 2019; Received in revised form 1 December 2019; Accepted 1 December 2019 Available online 09 December 2019 0190-7409/ © 2019 Published by Elsevier Ltd.

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of specific aspects of life after staying at an SBW remains understudied. Children who resided at an SBW have usually been exposed to severe IPV against their mother and have witnessed the escalation and negative consequences of IPV. The World Health Organization (WHO) (2017) defines IPV as “behavior by an intimate partner or ex-partner that causes physical, sexual, or psychological harm, including physical aggression, sexual coercion, psychological abuse or controlling behaviors” (p. 1). Severe IPV includes one or more of the following behaviors: biting, hitting, using or threatening to use a knife or a gun, choking, or forcing sex (McDonald, Jouriles, Ramisetty-Mikler, Caetano, & Green, 2006). As a result of severe IPV, a substantial number of women and children in Israel are forced to leave their homes, schools, and their broader surroundings each year and seek safety at SBWs. Israel has a population of approximately 9 million people, 33% of whom are children, and 16% of the Israeli children are considered to be at risk or maltreated (Lev-Wiesel, Eisikovits, First, Gottfried, & Mehlhausen, 2016). In 2016, there were 908 children in 14 SBWs in Israel, 30% of whom were aged 7–12. The length of stay at SBW varied from one night to several months. In most cases, the women were asked to leave the shelter for independent living. Usually, the battered woman moved with her children to a transitional housing, back to her previous home, with or without the abuser, or to another location, far from the abuser.

2.2. Children in SBWs

2. Literature review

Since the 1970s, SBWs have been the main type of services provided to women exposed to IPV, offering a safe temporary place for battered women, where they were protected from the violent relationship (Lyon et al., 2008; McDonald, Jouriles, & Skopp, 2006; Tutty et al., 1999). In addition to safe surroundings, SBWs provide several services such as advocacy, employment intervention programs, preparation for return to the community and enrichment programs (Haj-Yahia & Cohen, 2009; Kelly, Erin, & Raymond, 2005; Shostack, 2001). Most of times, women take their children to the SBW, and research has shown that children aged 0–12 make up the majority population of SBWs (McDonald et al., 2006; Shostack, 2001). Children come to SBW from highly violent homes, meet other children who come from similarly violent surroundings, and live together in a new collective lifestyle (Agnew, 1998; Haj-Yahia & Cohen, 2009). SBWs have safety rules that are mandatory for all residents. The most common rules concern daily activities and duties, forbid contact with the violent spouse, disclosure of the location of the shelter and include procedures for leaving the shelter (Kelly et al., 2005; Robert, 1998; Shostack, 2001). SBWs staff generally make efforts to provide women with the knowledge they need to cope with the challenges they are likely to face outside the shelter (Haj-Yahia & Cohen, 2009; Shostack, 2001). Intervention programs in the SBW focus on preparing the women for the future. It is unclear, however, whether children also receive the necessary preparation, advice, and interventions needed to help them make the transfer to community life easier.

2.1. Children exposed to IPV

2.3. Children and youth after their stay at SBWs

Because the battered woman is generally the children’s primary caregiver, it is likely that her experiences are indirectly transferred to her children (Edleson, 1999; Graham-Bermann, Castor, Miller, & Howell, 2012; Hungerford, Ogle, & Clements, 2010; Sargent et al., 2016). Anderson and van Ee (2018) used the term “secondary victims” to describe the situation in which children experience violence indirectly (Anderson & van Ee, 2018). Many children worldwide are exposed to violent acts, controlling behavior, and emotional violence toward their mothers (Hungerford, Wait, Fritz, & Clements, 2012; Levendosky, Huth-Bocks, Shapiro, & Semel, 2003; Liberman, Van Horn, & Ozer, 2005). In the US, approximately 80% of children living in violent homes reported having witnessed IPV against their mothers. The negative effects of IPV on children begins very early, before problem behaviors appear (Holt et al., 2008; Levendosky et al., 2003). Researchers indicated that witnessing severe IPV in childhood can lead to serious problems later in life, such as symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social competence problems, and internalizing and externalizing problems (Graham-Bermann et al., 2012; Grych, Jouriles, Swank, McDonald, & Norwood, 2000). Research shows that young children are completely dependent on their caregivers for feeling safe, for getting basic physical care, and for emotional closeness (Levendosky, Bogat, & Martinez-Torteya, 2013). Exposure to IPV between caregivers was found to reduce adaptive functioning, (Graham-Bermann et al., 2012; Hungerford et al., 2010; Jouriles & McDonald, 2015) and to cause adverse psychosocial problems such as low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. Exposure to IPV during childhood also leads to complicated interpersonal relationships and various maladaptive cognitions (Holt et al., 2008). Most research about children's exposure to IPV is quantitative, designed to measure symptoms and effects, although the body of qualitative research exploring children’s subjective meanings of their exposure to IPV has been relatively growing (Mullender et al., 2002; Peled, 1998, 2001). Additionally, such exposure has social impact on children. They may develop feelings of shame, fear, and guilt due to the situation at their home and can find it difficult to share these feelings with friends or to bring friends to their home, and as a result may find themselves socially isolated (Jouriles & McDonald, 2015).

The various changes children undergo when they move from the community to SBW and back to the community, create instability in their lives. Previous studies of instability in families make a distinction between residential and family instability. Residential instability relates to changes in the living conditions of families, moving from place to place and changing educational settings. Residential instability can put the child's development in general at considerable risk, and especially so the child’s performance in school (Fantuzzo, LeBoeuf, Chen, Rouse, & Culhane, 2012). It can also lead to serious behavioral problems (Fowler, Henry, Schoeny, Taylor, & Chavira, 2014). Family instability relates to changes in the family structure (such as divorce, temporary parental separation and the child's separation from family members). Previous research has indicated that family instability can negatively affect young people's wellbeing (Bakker, Ormel, Verhulst, & Oldehinkel, 2012; Fomby & Cherlin, 2007; Fomby & Bosick, 2013), can be a risk factor for emotional and behavioral problems in children (Fomby & Cherlin, 2007; Fowler et al., 2014); and can place children at a growing risk for developing negative social outcomes in the foreseeable and\ or later future (Bakker et al., 2012; Fomby & Bosick, 2013). The new life after leaving the SBW, can be extremely challenging for children also as they rejoin the rest of their family members. In most cases, it can be difficult to reestablish family routines after staying at the SBW. Longitudinal research concerning homeless families that have resided in shelters indicated that it was difficult to maintain family routines and rituals after returning to conventional housing (Mayberry, Shinn, Benton, & Wise, 2014). Many families need professional help to cope with their stigmatized status (Fomby & Bosick, 2013; Mayberry et al., 2014). To date, studies have rarely been conducted on the implications for children of leaving the SBW. We did find some similarities, however, between SBW and secure residential care. Children and youths in secure residential care, as in SBW, were generally in a secure environment, received intensive attention around the clock, and were supervised during their entire stay. Knorth, Harder, Zandberg, and Kendrick (2008) found that young people in secure residential care often improved their general functioning during their stay. Many of them, however, displayed problematic behaviors, including delinquent and 2

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non-conforming behavior (Orlando, Chan, & Morral, 2003), after leaving the residential care setting (Knorth et al., 2008). The literature about children's perspectives after leaving the SBW is scarce. One study that we found examined the narratives of adolescents, aged 12–16, on their expected life after the shelter. The findings revealed that adolescents were uncertain about the future. They expected to return to their previous schools, friends, and home, described the SBW as a “refugee camp,” and wished to go back to their life routines (Qverlien, 2011).

mothers and provided them with information about the aims and procedures of the study. Each mother completed a socio-demographic questionnaire. The questionnaire collected data about participants’ characteristics such as gender, age, country of origin, duration of stay in the SBW, the date on which they left the SBW, and the reason for leaving. Each mother approved her child’s participation in the study and signed a letter of informed consent. Additionally, all the children gave verbal consent to participate. The researcher conducted a short conversation with each child, explained the aim of the research, and played with the child to create a comfortable atmosphere for the interview. In appreciation of the time spent by the children, each of them received a toy as a gift which was given to the child at the end of interview in the presence of his or her mother. Only two of the children refused to participate in the interview; one child said he was tired, and one child did not want to explain his unwillingness to participate. The procedures of conducting the study (including sampling and interviews) were approved by the Ethics Committee of the Paul Baerwald School of Social Work and Social Welfare at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. Since the interviews with the children dealt with a sensitive topic, some challenges were raised during the interviews. One of the main issues we dealt with during the interviews was how to respond to emotional distress on the part of the children and to prolonged crying or silence. The researcher tried to be aware of emotional flooding of the children. Researchers who addressed ethical issues in research with children, pointed at the danger of emotionally flooding following a discussion of sensitive contents (Kavanaugh & Ayres, 1998). When the researcher (first author) detected anxiety or high emotional distress of the child, she changed the subject. In cases the children were upset or distressed after participating in the interview, the researcher referred their mothers to the local Department of Social Welfare to get the proper and needed intervention.

2.4. Research questions In sum, although a significant body of research concerning SBW services was conducted with children living in shelters, the studies relied mainly on reports by the mother and the staff about the children's experiences. To date, there is a dearth of research targeting children regarding the consequences of leaving the SBW, the transition from the shelter to the community, and the experiences of the new life outside the shelter. The aim of the present study was to fill this gap by exploring the subjective perceptions of children leaving the SBW. The study conducted an in-depth qualitative examination in a natural setting to answer the following research questions:

• What are the perceptions of children regarding the process of leaving the SBW? • What are the perceptions of children regarding their return to the community and recreating their family life anew?

3. Method 3.1. Research design and sample The present study used a qualitative, naturalistic approach, aimed at documenting children's subjective perceptions with regard to the research questions. The aim of a qualitative naturalistic study is to explore, describe, and understand the experiences of people and groups in a specific context (Lincoln & Guba, 1985). The research questions were designed in light of this approach, with an aim to present and understand the children's subjective perceptions of leaving SBW and returning to their communities. The sample comprised 32 children from Israel who had resided in one of four SBWs included in the study. Participants included 18 boys and 14 girls; 13 of them aged 7–9, and 19 aged 10–12 (M = 10.26) years. All children were Jewish, citizens of the country (except for two, one from Russia and one from the US, who were about to obtain their citizenship), studied in elementary schools, and were fluent in Hebrew. At the time of participation, all the children were exposed to severe IPV and had been back in the community after having resided in SBWs. The inclusion criteria were age between 7 and 12, having spent at least three months in the SBW, and having left the SBW at least one month before the interview. We used a snowball sampling approach to reach the mothers of the children. Most primary caregivers were the biological mothers, therefore, at the time of the interview almost all the children were living with their mothers or with both parents (in cases in which the mother decided to return to live with the violent spouse). Two siblings were living with their grandparents.

3.3. Data collection Data collection was carried out by means of in-depth semi-structured interviews. The children’s answers underwent qualitative analysis to derive from them the children's perceptions regarding the research questions. All interviews were conducted in Hebrew. The interview guide contained mostly open-ended questions covering different topics related to the children’s perspectives about leaving the SBW, as well as the present situation at home and in school. The interview guide was based on the previous professional experiences of the first author working with children exposed to IPV, and in close consultation with a senior researcher specializing in the field of child welfare and with members of the first author’s doctoral committee. The children were asked about their perceptions regarding the manner in which they left the SBW (e.g., how and why they had to leave), their first steps after returning to the community, and their expectations of the future. Other questions concerned the efforts to reestablish social networks, with neighbors and in school. Exact quotations were selected for illustrating the themes that emerged from the analysis, which were then translated into English by a professional translator. Each interview lasted approximately an hour and a half, and was audiotaped and transcribed, without any omitting all identifying details. 3.4. Data analysis

3.2. Procedure

The data were analyzed inductively (Padgett, 2008; Patton, 2002), following the six different stages of thematic analysis proposed by Braun and Clarke (2006): (a) each interview was read several times by the first author to gain in-depth understanding of the perceptions of the children; (b) open coding was performed using the Nvivo-7 digital program for qualitative analysis (Auerbach & Silverstein, 2003); (c) the identified codes were grouped with others concerning the same topics; (d) selected quotations were grouped together around same topics; (e) three main themes emerged, which are discussed in the findings section; and (f) the main

The study involved 32 children who were referred to one of four SBWs in Israel. Before the children were approached, the researcher first spoke by phone with two mothers who had recently left SBWs (a social worker referred the researcher to the mothers). These two mothers agreed to let their children participate in a pilot study. Afterwards, mothers were recruited using “snowball sampling” (i.e., the first mother referred us to other mothers from the shelter and so on). The researcher conducted a short conversation with all recruited 3

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themes were tested against the original transcripts to make sure the interpretations are as close as possible to the general content of the interview (Braun & Clarke, 2006). Following these stages, we could have reached a comprehensive analysis process, from the first stage to the last. For example, after rereading all the interviews, the first author divided the entire dataset to codes, each code was named, and all the codes' names were typed in the N- vivo digital program. The codes with the same names were grouped together, and eventually we gathered several separated groups of codes. The groups with the same contents served as the basis for designing the main themes. Our initial goal was to give natural descriptions of the children's experiences (i.e., to describe their reality as is) by following these six stages. The aim to reach credibility and trustworthiness in naturalistic study was discussed by experts in the field of qualitative research (Lieblich, Tuval-Mashiach, and Zilber, 1998; Maxwell, 2005). In most cases credibility is achieved by presenting the findings following exact quotations. This way the readers can understand and evaluate the participants' points of view. Trustworthiness is achieved when the researcher succeeds in presenting a coherent understanding of the participants’ subjective points of view (Maxwell, 2005). In our study, we tried to organize the findings in a fluent and coherent manner and used exact quotations relevant for each of the themes. Additionally, we sought to minimize our interpretations in order to reflect the children's subjective reality as is.

4.1. Escape from the shelter versus leaving after preparation: the process of leaving the shelter During their stay at the SBW, the children who participated in this study did not know when they would leave the SBW and where they would eventually go. The departure from the SBW was a significant event for most of them. The process of leaving the SBW included one of the following: (a) escape from the SBW without letting the shelter staff know; (b) leaving the SBW after appropriate preparation and an official announcement to the staff and to the other residents; (c) being asked to leave the SBW for exceeding the residential time limit; or (d) being asked to leave because the mother did not follow SBW rules and restrictions. The children frequently reported that their mother decided to escape from the SBW on short notice, without the necessary preparation and without official announcement to the professional staff. In these cases, the children reported that they left the SBW because of a severe conflict or argument with a staff member or with other mothers, in which their mother was involved. The main reasons for these conflicts were either that their mother did not follow shelter rules or did not want to perform shelter duties (cleaning and cooking for the other residents). A few children reported that their mother was involved in a conflict since she was asked to change the way in which she treated her children at the SBW. A few children, who were often present as observers at these events, reported that their mother found it difficult to cope with those conflicts, and eventually decided to leave. The following quotations illustrate the situations in which the children and their mothers left the SBW.

4. Findings Three main themes emerged in this study regarding the children’s experiences of the process of leaving the SBW and recreating their life outside of it: (a) escape from the shelter versus leaving after preparation: the process of leaving the shelter; (b) types of living arrangements after leaving the shelter (the main worry at the time of leaving the SBW, which had to do with the home to which the mother and the children were moving); and (c) implications of reestablishing the social network at school (see Table 1). The findings about each of the themes are illustrated by selected quotations from the interviews. During the analysis, we tried to define the themes in a way that reflects faithfully the subjective perceptions, attitudes, and perspectives of the children. All quotations are identified by fictitious names. Table 1. Themes and Selected Descriptions from the Thematic Analysis Main theme

Selected descriptions

Escape from the shelter versus leaving after preparation: The process of leaving the shelter.

Sudden escape from the shelter, without letting the shelter staff know. Leaving the shelter after appropriate preparation and an official announcement to the staff. Being asked to leave having reached the limit of shelter residential time. Leaving because the mother failed to follow shelter rules and restrictions. Moving to a different city. Moving to the same city where they lived before going to the shelter. Moving back to the same home, without their violent father. Moving back to live with the violent father. Moving to live with grandparents. Embarrassment and shame when going back to school: What to tell friends? Keeping the secret of having stayed at a shelter. Making concerted efforts to establish social relations. Coping with rumors about the family. Survival and coping by changing schools.

Types of living arrangements after leaving the shelter. Implications of reestablishing the social network at school.

Rivki (11.5): The first week we were in the shelter, some mothers were running away with their kids. I think they went back to their homes. Interviewer: Do you know why did they ran away? Rivki: I think their mom didn’t want to clean, she never liked to do things for the shelter… Tobi (7.5), described how she left the shelter in a hurry. She expressed mixed feelings about their escape. Most of times she would have been happy to return home, but at times she wished she could go back to the shelter for a while to spend time with her close friends there. Tobi (7.5): My mom didn't tell the staff we are going to leave… One day she just came with a big bag and asked me to hurry up and put all my stuff in it. I was happy to move out, to go back to our own home… but I was a bit sad, I didn’t know if we will come back [to the shelter] to see my friends again… Some children described leaving the shelter after appropriate preparation and going-away parties. But only two children reported the professional staff holding therapeutic conversations with them in an effort to help them cope with their positive or mixed feelings about leaving the shelter. Shirel (10) and her mother were asked to leave the shelter after six months. She spoke about their farewell party with excitement: Shirel (10): A woman told us we will have to leave soon. She said we will talk about it with the staff and will tell our friends at the shelter. Then after a few days they prepared a party for us before we left. We got presents and new toys… and mom took pictures. 4.2. “Which home we are coming back to?” Types of living arrangements after the SBW Shelter staff sought to help the mothers improve their self-esteem and become more self-reliant. Before the interviews, the researcher held a brief conversation with all the mothers to better understand the mothers’ choice of the type of living arrangement they sought. Mothers 4

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were asked to indicate the reason for choosing their current living arrangement. At the time of the interviews, the children were living with their mothers in one of the following situations: (a) in a different locality from the one in which they lived before going to the shelter; (b) in a different house in the same locality in which they lived before going to the shelter; (b) in the same home in which they lived before going to the shelter, but without the violent father; (d) in the same home with the violent father; and (e) with their grandparents. This theme illustrates each choice of living arrangement and its implications for the children. Moving to a different city was an important change that had serious implications for the children's wellbeing. In addition to the challenge of reestablishing a new family life, children had to rebuild a new social network and adapt to a new school. The children in this category frequently reported how difficult it was for them to adapt to the new school, and spoke less about other challenges, such as making new social connections in the neighborhood or building new family routines. Before moving with his mother to a different city, Benny (9) had been exposed to severe emotional violence toward his mother. At the beginning of the interview, Benni described his thoughts about what happened at home before the move to the shelter. He believed his mother was responsible for the violence against her, because of her provocative behavior toward his father. He did not think his mother needed protection, and therefore did not understand the need for going to the shelter. Although Benni lived in such complicated reality in his home, the narrative that emerged from the interview with him dealt with the transitions between three schools in the same year:

Elhanan: It was like a vacation. I had lots of time to play, but the kids were causing trouble, and I've waited to come back home and have an ordinary life. About a third of the children in the sample returned to live with both parents. Although most of them thought that the shelter provided distance and protection from the violent father, they did not understand the usefulness of staying at the shelter. The lack of understanding was the result of the mother's decision to return to living with their father, even when she was the target of severe violence: Talia (10): I knew mom wanted to live with him even though he was shouting and beating her… and then mom came back to live with dad… So why did we go to the shelter at all? After leaving the shelter, two siblings moved with their mother to their grandparents’ home. This arrangement was the least prevalent in our sample. The children’s perception of grandparents was ambivalent: on one hand, the grandparents provided help and support, and their role was to protect their mother and help her adapt to an independent life; on the other hand, the grandparents were too much involved in their mother's life. The children described their mother as weak and helpless during their stay at the shelter. Rinat (7.5) thought her grandparents' involvement frustrated her mother, although she enjoyed their attention and help: Rinat (7.5): My grandfather makes a swimming pool for us and helps with homework… but mom is not free here. Grandma cooks for us every day and helps us get ready to sleep, mom doesn’t do it at all… Grandma doesn't want mom to talk with dad and mom doesn’t like it at all.

Benny (9): I already went to three schools, my school before the shelter, the school at shelter, and the school I go to now… There’s a new teacher every time, and new children… I never know who my friends will be in class … I got tired of all these schools.

4.3. Implications of recreating the social network at school

One of the options when leaving the shelter was to move to a different home in the same city. Most mothers stated that the reasons for moving was the divorce of the parents, as the previous home was put up for sale or its rental contract terminated. In these cases, most of the children returned to familiar surroundings and could go back to their previous schools. Several children indicated that they did not have a clear view why their family had to move to another home. Assaf (10), could describe in a way, this lack of knowledge:

Both the children who returned to their previous locality and those who moved to a different one had to get used to a new life away from the shelter. Most of them described difficulties in adapting to school and spoke less about difficulties in their neighborhood, family and home. Returning to school after being away at the shelter appeared to pose similar challenges to most of the children. First, they were embarrassed to tell their classmates why they did not start school with everyone, at the beginning of the year. Second, some of the children continued to hide the fact that they had stayed at a shelter. Third, they had to make concerted efforts to create new social relationships at the new school, or to reestablish former relationships at their previous school. Fourth, they had to cope with unpleasant rumors. Children reported that these challenges had implications for their social and educational performance. Few children, however, displayed social resilience that was reflected in positive adaptation at school.

Assaf (10): I don’t know why we didn’t go back to our house. Mom said it's not good for us to go back there, but I don’t know why. I liked it, it was lovely and big… And I have my best friend there. Some of the children moved back to live in their previous homes without their violent father. In this category, the children's descriptions revealed a variety of perceptions. Some looked forward to returning to their previous home, some expressed ambivalence, and only a few were anxious and concerned about going back to their previous home. Those who looked forward to returning described positive memories of family and school. The following quotations demonstrate some of their perceptions:

4.3.1. Embarrassment and shame back in school: “what to tell our friends” Most of the children described embarrassment and shame when returning to school. Those who returned to their previous school were ashamed to return to their class and tell their friends where they had been. Those who moved to a new school found it difficult to establish new social connections. Benny (9) described his thoughts about the transitions between the schools he attended:

Or (12): I couldn’t wait to see my room again. I wanted to play with my computer and have dinner with my sisters…I have waited so much to leave the shelter to go back home. Ariel (11): I wanted to go back home, I wanted to call my friends and play in the balcony. But I also liked the shelter; the children's club there was really fun. Talia (10): I don’t know if I really wanted to go back home. I didn’t know what we will see there. Mommy doesn’t know if our toys are still there anymore, because my dad took them out. I don’t know if it would be the same home as before.

Benny (9): The shelter was fun, we went to the zoo and played, but I went to another school and I didn’t know what I would tell my friends when I get back to my previous school. 4.3.2. Keeping the secret Most of the children continued to keep the secret of their stay at the shelter even after they had left it. Some were asked by their mother not to tell anyone at school, and others decided by themselves to keep the secret. A few children reported being uncomfortable having to keep the

Elhanan (8) viewed the shelter as a temporary solution and looked forward to going back to what he called “ordinary life:” Interviewer: How was it for you to leave the shelter? 5

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secret, because they were not able to assess what the reactions of other children would be if they found out. Toby (7.5) tried to explain why she had to keep the secret of being in a shelter:

discuss each of the key findings in light of the relevant literature and present an in-dept overview based on the children's descriptions. Later on, we suggest recommendations for practice with children of battered women, and particularly with children who return to community life after residing in SBW. Finally, we discuss some of the limitations of the study, explain its unique contribution to theory, and point out the need for future research. The first theme is dealing with the manner in which the children had left the shelter. According to the children's descriptions, neither mothers nor professional staff took into consideration the readiness of the children to leave the SBW. The children described several types of leaving, from a sudden escape to leaving after proper preparation. The concept of process versus suddenness (a lack of process) has been repeated several times in the interviews. In cases the children had to leave immediately due to a harried decision of their mother or the SWB staff, they lacked the opportunity to think about what was happening. The meaning of this forced transition from shelter to community for a child (i.e., changing the living surroundings in a sudden manner) may seriously influence him or her. In fact, their initial move to the shelter usually occurred suddenly, because of the immediate threat to the mother's well-being. This suddenness emerges again when they had to leave the shelter immediately. The shelter that supposed to provide a safe and stable environment to flee from violence, becomes a temporary shortterm place, they often had to leave in a sudden manner. For a young child, such suddenness may appear as a paradox (leave the shelter without preparation and sometimes without an alternative safe place to go to), or at least as a complexed reality. The second theme concerns the instability caused by the transition from the SBW to the community. Beyond the family instability that the children experienced when moving to the SBW (separation from the father, older siblings, grandparents, and school), they also experienced instability in their living conditions. The transitions from their previous home to the SBW and from the SBW back home or to another living arrangement resulted also in residential instability. Earlier studies have indicated that family instability has harmful effects on young people's wellbeing (Bakker et al., 2012; Fomby & Cherlin, 2007; Fomby & Bosick, 2013; Samuels, 2017). Family instability is known as a risk factor for emotional and behavioral problems in children (Fomby & Cherlin, 2007; Fowler et al., 2014), which places children at risk of multiple negative developmental outcomes (Bakker et al., 2012; Fomby & Bosick, 2013). Furthermore, recent research indicates that changes in non-parental households have serious consequences for children. Perkins (2019) noted the division between family and residential instability, and the crucial implications of replacing or changing the children’s living conditions, conceptualizing these changes as the product of residential rather than of family instability (Perkins, 2019). The negative social, emotional, and educational outcomes of residential instability have been documented in prior studies dealing with emergency shelters populations (Fantuzzo et al., 2012; Fowler et al., 2014). These studies pointed out to the major consequences of residential instability for families that had been removed from their houses to emergency shelters due to a nature disaster, wars, or other harms. The families mainly reported about their difficulties to reestablish family routines, and their fear to be stigmatized (as homelessness families) (Fowler et al., 2014). Similarly, our findings indicate that for a young child exposed to severe IPV, the reality of transitions and instability can be very challenging from the same reasons (e.g., rumors, stigmatization, challenges in adjustment to school). Additionally, part of the children described they had not been exposed to violence that endangered their mother's lives and they did not think she needed protection. In such cases the difficulties of stigmatization and re-adaptation are even greater, and there is also a kind of dissonance (fleeing for the shelter to be saved from a threat, and then go back to live with the perpetrator). The third theme highlights the children's situation at school as the

Toby (7.5): We went back to school, I didn't tell the girls why I left school, mom told me not to tell them. Interviewer: And how was it for you not to tell them about it? Toby: I didn't want them to find out. I lied… What will they think of our family? 4.3.3. Concerted efforts in establishing social relations Children who moved to another school as well as those who returned to their previous schools described having to make concerted efforts in establishing new social connections or rebuilding previous social ties. In both cases it appears they have invested considerable energy in establishing their social status. Lior (12), who was sent to a new school after leaving the shelter, described being lonely in school: Lior (12): I don't play with the children so much in school. I like to play by myself: I wanted them to be my friends and I gave them my snacks. I tried to join them at play, but they didn’t pay attention to me at all. Maybe they didn’t want to meet new friends. 4.3.4. Coping with rumors The children frequently reported having to cope with rumors about their family, including rumors about their parents' divorce, their father not living with them, or their father having been imprisoned. The children who returned to their previous schools found it difficult to deal with such rumors, because most of their friends had already heard about their family story. The children who moved to another school were less likely to have to confront such rumors and were often able to start establishing new social ties. Shira (9) clearly described the rumors about her when she returned to school: Shira (9): I heard children saying in secret: “Her father was in jail.” I didn’t want them to say that, they said it in secret, but I heard… If I hadn’t left school, maybe they wouldn't say that about me, they wouldn't know anything. 4.3.5. Survival and coping by moving to another school Most children reported that adapting to school was challenging; however, few of them described positive experiences in school. In these cases, moving to another school appears to have strengthened their social abilities. Shimon (11), established social connections in each of the schools he attended. He played on several soccer teams and acquired many friends. It is possible that Shimon had natural social skills, and his ability to adapt to three schools in a short time allowed him to develop his social skills and enhanced his social status among new friends: Shimon (11): I was in several schools and I was a winning soccer player. I was a winner and I had many friends. Interviewer: How was it for you to leave your friends and get to know new friends? Shimon: I don't care, that's why I have a lot of friends, they want to be my friends on Facebook. 5. Discussion 5.1. Summary and discussion The goal of the present study was to examine the process experienced by young children of battered women who leave the SBW, and their transition from SBW to community life. Three themes emerged from the data analysis, revealing several significant findings. Below we 6

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most concerning issue upon their return to the community. Although plenty of studies in the field of IPV emphasize the negative consequences of witnessing IPV in childhood, and the implications of such exposure on family atmosphere (e.g., Levendosky et al., 2003), the children in this study were primarily concerned about what happened or did not happen at school, rather than of the family atmosphere or relationships with their parents. Their difficulties at school (e.g., challenges in creating new relationships with peers), might have being explained in light of recent literature dealing with the social implications of witnessing IPV (Holt et al., 2008). Examples of social implications might be social competence problems, reduced adaptive functioning, and low self-esteem (Graham-Bermann et al., 2012; Jouriles & McDonald, 2015). The children's difficulty to reestablish social ties may be connected to their exposure to IPV, since such exposure during childhood leads to complicated interpersonal relationships and maladaptive cognitions (Holt et al., 2008). Furthermore, their integration to school developed several feelings such as shame, embarrassment, and fear (e.g., the fear of children in school become familiar with their family story, and the fear of negative rumors). These emotional reactions can also be explained by the adverse psychosocial problems, anxiety, and depression that become relatively common among children exposed to IPV (Levendosky et al., 2013). Another significant finding, related to the third theme, was that both the children who left the SBW unexpectedly, and those who left after preparation, faced similar challenges integrating at school. This finding may be explained by the importance of the peer group, as opposed to that of the family, for young children. Numerous studies about the significance of peer groups for children have reported that peer groups facilitate young people's transition to the larger social environment (Brown & Lohr, 1987; Sussman, Unger, & Dent, 2004), and have a vital influence on developing their identity and self-esteem (Hartup, 1985; Sussman et al., 2004). Young children often identify with peers to develop personal autonomy from parents (Brown & Lohr, 1987), in a process of moving away from their nuclear family to the wider social circle, where they socialize with peers and begin to make their own choices (Larkin, 1979; Sussman et al., 2004). In relation to our findings, these studies may explain the children’s relatively rich narratives about school. Under the surface of the children's descriptions, we can notice their needs, wills, and wishes were at times invisible. The terms 'invisible victims' or 'silent victims' of violence were largely documented in researches to demonstrate the reality of children exposed to IPV (Hungerford et al., 2012). This invisibility gets another expression in our study, since the children's needs, wills, and thoughts had been somehow hidden or at least invisible from the eyes of the caregivers around them (e.g., professionals were not aware of the children's concerns about leaving the shelter and of situations at school, etc.). The silent surrounding of IPV (Hungerford et al., 2012; McDonald et al., 2006), is getting an added value in this study (for example, we saw the children invested concerted efforts to hide their stay in shelter). To the best of our knowledge, 'breaking the circle of violence' is the main goal of professionals dealing with IPV. Our study adds another significant goal to the area of IPV's interventions, which is to take the children's attitudes and needs into consideration when responding to IPV. These children are able to express their thoughts, needs, and wishes in an inspiring manner, thus, it is highly recommended to listen to their voices.

the interview) may not allow our findings to be generalized to other populations of children leaving SBWs. Another limitation concerns the children's young ages and their verbal expression. Although studies reported of children’s abilities to provide accurate and valuable experiences (Evang & Øverlien, 2015; Hershkowitz, Lamb, Orbach, Katz, & Horowitz, 2012), and by the age of 8, children develop the ability to describe events in an organized way (Fivush & Schwarzmueller, 1998), it is not always possible when exploring exposure to traumatic events. In cases of exposure to IPV, children may find it hard to discuss about violent events and to interpret them (Terr, 1991). Lastly, another limitation has to do with the data collection procedure: we interviewed the children only to collect information about the process of leaving the SBW and about their experiences after their stay. By interviewing only the children, we sought to capture their subjective perceptions. However, interviews with the parents and the staff, might add a new information and reveal more aspects of the children's experiences. 5.3. Implications and Future Directions for Intervention and research This qualitative study presented some post-shelter perceptions of children after they had left the SBW and returned to community life. The children who left the SBW after proper preparation, noted the therapeutic conversations were conducted with their mothers, and in rare cases, with the children as well. Recent studies of children and youths in out‐of‐home placements indicated that therapeutic interventions with children during their residential care are extremely helpful for multiple reasons (Harder, Knorth, & Kalverboer, 2017; Marsh & Evans, 2009). Mostly, these are found to be successful in developing a positive attitude toward treatment in adolescents (Harder et al., 2017). Successful interventions during residential care may help the residents accrue achievements after leaving care (Marsh & Evans, 2009). In relation to our findings, although in most cases the children expected to leave the SBW, they needed a process of preparation to better separate from the staff, from the other mothers and children, and from school. Therefore, it is highly recommended for professionals at SBWs to be available for support and to implement interventions that would prepare the children for leaving the SBW. Regarding the findings of the second theme, although it is reasonable to assume that children who return to the community after staying at the SBW share similar challenges, our findings point to some differences and similarities of the children's experiences in several residential settings (e.g., living in the previous home with both parents, in a new home without the violent father, with grandparents). For example, children who moved back to live with both parents, failed to understand the usefulness of moving to the SBW in the first place, because after all, they returned to live with the violent father. In these cases, the staff at the SBW should show empathy toward this lack of understanding and help the children see the benefits of having stayed at the SBW (i.e., a safe environment that can protect the mother at times of threat). The staff can also explain to the children the commitment of the SBW to keep protecting children and women under threat, as long as they need help and protection, no matter what the mother's choices might be. .It is highly recommended for professionals at the SBW to address the particular challenges that each family is about to face in the transition to the community, and to prepare an appropriate intervention for each family, in accordance with its new living arrangements. At times, however, if more than one family moves to a similar type of arrangement, it is possible to conduct therapeutic group sessions for children in the same category. Interviews with the children revealed the crucial importance of the professional staff at the SBW and in school, in helping children acquire the skills they need to make the necessary adaptation at school. In other words, these children need help and guidance in socializing with peers, coping with rumors about their family, and explaining to their classmates where they had been. Professional staff at school (i.e., teachers, educational counselors) should pay more attention to the children's

5.2. Limitations The present study is based on a relatively small sample, limiting the diversity of perceptions we were able to collect. The sample included children aged 7–12, although SBWs in Israel serve mothers with children between the ages of 0 and 12 years. Moreover, the inclusion criteria for the sample (children aged 7–12, who spent at least three months in the shelter and had left the shelter at least one month before 7

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experiences at school and to implement appropriate interventions aimed at improving their social abilities, with special emphasis on their relationships with peers. Future research should examine in depth both parents' perceptions of their children's transition from SBW to the community, and the staff's perspectives in addition to those of the children. Such research can promote an integrative and comprehensive understanding of children's live experiences after having lived in an SBW. It is also recommended to explore in greater depth the implications of each type of living arrangement after leaving the SBW, paying special attention to family and residential instability. A broader or mixed data collection method is needed to serve as a basis for analysis, for example, triangulation based on data collected from the children, the mothers, and the professional staff. Such a methodological framework may produce new qualitative knowledge, which is essential for implementing successful intervention programs that could facilitate better emotional and social outcomes for children leaving the SBW.

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