- Email: [email protected]
Bridging troubled waters—conflict resolution from the heart
ARTICLE IN PRESS
International Journal of Intercultural Relations 28 (2004) 81–91
Book reviews Bridging troubled waters—conflict resolution from the heart Michelle LeBaron; Jossey-Bass, San Francisco, 2002, 352pp When entering into an exploration of innovative approaches and theories, readers will often take comfort in knowing that their guide is experienced and on their side. In the case of Bridging Troubled Waters—Conflict Resolution From the Heart, author Michelle LeBaron recounts years of extensive experiences and diverse stories from her roles as mediator, facilitator, professor, counselor, artist, and writer. Within the first few chapters of her book, we get a strong sense of someone with the generosity to share openly many of her professional and personal experiences, both successes and failures. Michelle is the central character of the book; through her eyes we explore, reflect, and learn about a theory of conflict resolution where relationship is held at the center and intuition is a key tool for discovery. Michelle comes across as a model of the authentic conflict resolution professional; she is an inspiring example of someone who puts a premium on paying attention. She is constantly striving to sharpen her creativity and deepen her observations in dealing with the complexities and subtleties of the art of transforming conflict. Her book is written from the heart. And the reader who wants to get the most out of the book should read it that way, as well. Bridging Troubled Waters is about helping people deal with conflicts in their lives at deeper levels and in more creative ways. At the outset, Michelle discusses several of the more traditional approaches to conflict resolution, which are largely based on the premise that emotion gets in the way of rational thinking. She posits that we should not abandon these approaches, but expand upon them, especially in the areas where emotions and relationships are involved. She makes a convincing case that ‘‘separating the people from the problem’’ might not always work in conflict situations, since emotions and relationships are often deeply rooted in the problem. She encourages conflict resolution practitioners to recognize, acknowledge, and use the deep-rooted emotions of participants as a way to manage conflicts. She suggests, ‘‘In composing the next wave of conflict resolution practice, practitioners and trainers need to access a range of resources rather than rely on limited approaches to bridging conflict that focus on logic and communication.’’ (p. 10) To complement our intellectual way of understanding conflict situations, Michelle teaches us to draw upon some less-practiced approaches, including emotional, somatic, and intuitive ways of knowing. She believes that intuition is one of the neglected resources that we need to more fully appreciate. She notes, ‘‘Few conflict resolution textbooks address intuition at all; it is not a capacity that is covered in
ARTICLE IN PRESS 82
Book reviews / International Journal of Intercultural Relations 28 (2004) 81–91
training.’’ Yet practitioners speak of it when they describe their work, using phrases like, ‘‘I just knew it’’ and ‘‘It came in a flash.’’ (p. 128) This excerpt on intuition gives a sense of Michelle’s elegant writing style: ‘‘Intuition helps us know what to do in the moment we need to know. It is there on our shoulder, helping us choose from imagined alternatives. At any choice point, dozens or even hundreds of options confront us. Intuition is our sieve, sifting through them at lightning speed, yielding an answer that feels congruent and right in the moment.’’ (p. 101) One of the standard practices in the conflict resolution field has been to create a ‘‘win–win’’. Michelle looks at likely outcomes in a more realistic way, and encourages us to appreciate a ‘‘mostly OK-mostly OK’’ resolution. She acknowledges the messiness of the conflict resolution process, and how usually neither party engaged in negotiation will achieve all of their goals. While much of the book focuses on individuals who are called upon to mediate conflicts as part of their professional responsibilities, Michelle also includes examples of conflict resolution in more personal situations. One of her key points is that conflicts permeate all aspects of our lives, and that all of us could benefit from an increased awareness of conflict and how it affects us. Bridging Troubled Waters is a very practical book. Both professionals and lay people who read the book will come away with some key learnings, specific approaches, and even a collection of ‘‘tips’’ that they can call upon the next time they face a conflict situation. Further, Michelle’s writing style makes her thoughtful ideas accessible and clear, engaging the reader with fascinating and meaningful stories. At one point, she reminds us how much stories help us as students: ‘‘Remember when you attended lectures at university or college? Did you sit with rapt attention, or did your mind sometimes wander? I tuned back in when there were stories.’’ (p. 224) Her stories keep us tuned in. At just the right moments, when we are feeling a little overwhelmed with abstract ideas, Michelle delivers a quote, anecdote, parable, or incident that pulls us back in and vividly illustrates her point. The ideas evolve fluidly from one to the next, and Michelle’s transitions move the narrative along in a comfortable way. The eclectic nature of the stories makes them especially compelling, as she weaves together quotes from people like Martha Graham, Goethe, Gauguin, and Ghandi. Many of her stories have an intercultural flavor, like the one about the Japanese husband who was able to discern his wife’s mood from her flower arrangements, or the First Nations story that tells of a subtle and mysterious way to solve the problem of a barking dog. I was also fascinated by many of the auxiliary facts presented in the book; did you know that Walt Disney invented the storyboard? A particularly powerful chapter entitled ‘‘Connected Ways of Knowing,’’ describes one of the first plane flights to take place after the September 11, 2001 tragedy. This section literally made me choke, as I was able to really feel the power of human interconnectedness. As you read Bridging Troubled Waters, I suggest that you do so at a leisurely pace. Michelle’s ideas become stronger and clearer when we apply them to specific stressful
ARTICLE IN PRESS Book reviews / International Journal of Intercultural Relations 28 (2004) 81–91
83
times in our own lives. Also, she provides us with several exercises—interludes that give us the space and context to closely examine our own physical, mental, and emotional reactions to conflict situations. If you take advantage of these opportunities for self-reflection, it will make a rich book even richer. In my work, I often deal with the types of interpersonal, intercultural, and organizational conflicts that Michelle describes. Having read the book, I now feel as if I have greater awareness that will allow me to be more creative with my clients. The next time I find myself mediating at the heart of a conflict situation, I will have a more solid foundation for paying ‘‘exquisite attention’’ and consciously filtering my intuitive choices. The essence of the ideas in Bridging Troubled Waters can be found in a quote from the Dalai Lama. It’s important to recognize that if human conflicts are created by misuse of human intelligence, we can also utilize our intelligence to find ways and means to overcome these conflicts. When human intelligence and human goodness or affection are used together, all human actions become more constructive. (p. 75)
Noriko Ogami Professorville, Palo Alto, CA, USA Email address: [email protected] doi:10.1016/j.ijintrel.2003.12.003
Coaching across cultures: new tools for leveraging national, corporate & professional differences Philippe Rosin.ski (Ed.), Nicholas Brealey Publishing, London, 2003, 306pp The title, Coaching across cultures, clearly announces Philippe Rosinski’s agenda in writing this book. An experienced coach for over 10 years, Rosinski’s intention is to ‘‘integrate the cultural dimension into coaching and coaching skills into intercultural work’’ (p. xi). As such, this book serves as a resource for both interculturalists and coaches who wish to learn about incorporating the other’s field into their own. Additionally, rather than seeking to be the definitive voice at this time, the author points out that this cross-fertilization of disciplines is just beginning to emerge and calls upon the reader to take the next steps in developing what he presents as an introduction to this integration. Rosinski organizes his book into three parts. Part I, ‘‘Coaching and Culture,’’ provides the working definitions for coaching and culture. Part II, ‘‘Leveraging Cultural Differences,’’ introduces 17 cultural dimensions grouped into seven related categories. Part III, ‘‘Facilitating the High-Performance and High-Fulfillment
International Journal of Intercultural Relations 28 (2004) 81–91
Book reviews Bridging troubled waters—conflict resolution from the heart Michelle LeBaron; Jossey-Bass, San Francisco, 2002, 352pp When entering into an exploration of innovative approaches and theories, readers will often take comfort in knowing that their guide is experienced and on their side. In the case of Bridging Troubled Waters—Conflict Resolution From the Heart, author Michelle LeBaron recounts years of extensive experiences and diverse stories from her roles as mediator, facilitator, professor, counselor, artist, and writer. Within the first few chapters of her book, we get a strong sense of someone with the generosity to share openly many of her professional and personal experiences, both successes and failures. Michelle is the central character of the book; through her eyes we explore, reflect, and learn about a theory of conflict resolution where relationship is held at the center and intuition is a key tool for discovery. Michelle comes across as a model of the authentic conflict resolution professional; she is an inspiring example of someone who puts a premium on paying attention. She is constantly striving to sharpen her creativity and deepen her observations in dealing with the complexities and subtleties of the art of transforming conflict. Her book is written from the heart. And the reader who wants to get the most out of the book should read it that way, as well. Bridging Troubled Waters is about helping people deal with conflicts in their lives at deeper levels and in more creative ways. At the outset, Michelle discusses several of the more traditional approaches to conflict resolution, which are largely based on the premise that emotion gets in the way of rational thinking. She posits that we should not abandon these approaches, but expand upon them, especially in the areas where emotions and relationships are involved. She makes a convincing case that ‘‘separating the people from the problem’’ might not always work in conflict situations, since emotions and relationships are often deeply rooted in the problem. She encourages conflict resolution practitioners to recognize, acknowledge, and use the deep-rooted emotions of participants as a way to manage conflicts. She suggests, ‘‘In composing the next wave of conflict resolution practice, practitioners and trainers need to access a range of resources rather than rely on limited approaches to bridging conflict that focus on logic and communication.’’ (p. 10) To complement our intellectual way of understanding conflict situations, Michelle teaches us to draw upon some less-practiced approaches, including emotional, somatic, and intuitive ways of knowing. She believes that intuition is one of the neglected resources that we need to more fully appreciate. She notes, ‘‘Few conflict resolution textbooks address intuition at all; it is not a capacity that is covered in
ARTICLE IN PRESS 82
Book reviews / International Journal of Intercultural Relations 28 (2004) 81–91
training.’’ Yet practitioners speak of it when they describe their work, using phrases like, ‘‘I just knew it’’ and ‘‘It came in a flash.’’ (p. 128) This excerpt on intuition gives a sense of Michelle’s elegant writing style: ‘‘Intuition helps us know what to do in the moment we need to know. It is there on our shoulder, helping us choose from imagined alternatives. At any choice point, dozens or even hundreds of options confront us. Intuition is our sieve, sifting through them at lightning speed, yielding an answer that feels congruent and right in the moment.’’ (p. 101) One of the standard practices in the conflict resolution field has been to create a ‘‘win–win’’. Michelle looks at likely outcomes in a more realistic way, and encourages us to appreciate a ‘‘mostly OK-mostly OK’’ resolution. She acknowledges the messiness of the conflict resolution process, and how usually neither party engaged in negotiation will achieve all of their goals. While much of the book focuses on individuals who are called upon to mediate conflicts as part of their professional responsibilities, Michelle also includes examples of conflict resolution in more personal situations. One of her key points is that conflicts permeate all aspects of our lives, and that all of us could benefit from an increased awareness of conflict and how it affects us. Bridging Troubled Waters is a very practical book. Both professionals and lay people who read the book will come away with some key learnings, specific approaches, and even a collection of ‘‘tips’’ that they can call upon the next time they face a conflict situation. Further, Michelle’s writing style makes her thoughtful ideas accessible and clear, engaging the reader with fascinating and meaningful stories. At one point, she reminds us how much stories help us as students: ‘‘Remember when you attended lectures at university or college? Did you sit with rapt attention, or did your mind sometimes wander? I tuned back in when there were stories.’’ (p. 224) Her stories keep us tuned in. At just the right moments, when we are feeling a little overwhelmed with abstract ideas, Michelle delivers a quote, anecdote, parable, or incident that pulls us back in and vividly illustrates her point. The ideas evolve fluidly from one to the next, and Michelle’s transitions move the narrative along in a comfortable way. The eclectic nature of the stories makes them especially compelling, as she weaves together quotes from people like Martha Graham, Goethe, Gauguin, and Ghandi. Many of her stories have an intercultural flavor, like the one about the Japanese husband who was able to discern his wife’s mood from her flower arrangements, or the First Nations story that tells of a subtle and mysterious way to solve the problem of a barking dog. I was also fascinated by many of the auxiliary facts presented in the book; did you know that Walt Disney invented the storyboard? A particularly powerful chapter entitled ‘‘Connected Ways of Knowing,’’ describes one of the first plane flights to take place after the September 11, 2001 tragedy. This section literally made me choke, as I was able to really feel the power of human interconnectedness. As you read Bridging Troubled Waters, I suggest that you do so at a leisurely pace. Michelle’s ideas become stronger and clearer when we apply them to specific stressful
ARTICLE IN PRESS Book reviews / International Journal of Intercultural Relations 28 (2004) 81–91
83
times in our own lives. Also, she provides us with several exercises—interludes that give us the space and context to closely examine our own physical, mental, and emotional reactions to conflict situations. If you take advantage of these opportunities for self-reflection, it will make a rich book even richer. In my work, I often deal with the types of interpersonal, intercultural, and organizational conflicts that Michelle describes. Having read the book, I now feel as if I have greater awareness that will allow me to be more creative with my clients. The next time I find myself mediating at the heart of a conflict situation, I will have a more solid foundation for paying ‘‘exquisite attention’’ and consciously filtering my intuitive choices. The essence of the ideas in Bridging Troubled Waters can be found in a quote from the Dalai Lama. It’s important to recognize that if human conflicts are created by misuse of human intelligence, we can also utilize our intelligence to find ways and means to overcome these conflicts. When human intelligence and human goodness or affection are used together, all human actions become more constructive. (p. 75)
Noriko Ogami Professorville, Palo Alto, CA, USA Email address: [email protected] doi:10.1016/j.ijintrel.2003.12.003
Coaching across cultures: new tools for leveraging national, corporate & professional differences Philippe Rosin.ski (Ed.), Nicholas Brealey Publishing, London, 2003, 306pp The title, Coaching across cultures, clearly announces Philippe Rosinski’s agenda in writing this book. An experienced coach for over 10 years, Rosinski’s intention is to ‘‘integrate the cultural dimension into coaching and coaching skills into intercultural work’’ (p. xi). As such, this book serves as a resource for both interculturalists and coaches who wish to learn about incorporating the other’s field into their own. Additionally, rather than seeking to be the definitive voice at this time, the author points out that this cross-fertilization of disciplines is just beginning to emerge and calls upon the reader to take the next steps in developing what he presents as an introduction to this integration. Rosinski organizes his book into three parts. Part I, ‘‘Coaching and Culture,’’ provides the working definitions for coaching and culture. Part II, ‘‘Leveraging Cultural Differences,’’ introduces 17 cultural dimensions grouped into seven related categories. Part III, ‘‘Facilitating the High-Performance and High-Fulfillment