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Parenting: The Ultimate Valentine
News
www.jpedhc.org
President’s Message
Parenting: The Ultimate Valentine Jo Ann Serota, MSN, RN, CPNP, President and Fellow
Let me share with you some of my experiences and thoughts about parenting. I wish there was a manual for this position in life. Parenting is a job that includes a lot of trial and error. One has to believe that it is ok to err and then forgive yourself. My children (all four of them) have given me wonderful memories, lots of laughter, and of course, too many tears to count. As a parent, I often wondered if I was doing a good job. I read tons of parenting articles and books, went to lectures on parenting issues, “experimented” with new ideas from the experts (of course, my children knew when Mom was using a new “psychological technique”) and on many occasions, I just had to “guts it.” The love between a parent and child is everlasting. We all tell our children how much they are loved, and as young children they in turn tell us that we are loved. As the child reaches adolescence, the overt display of affection and saying “I love you” usually is the last thing the adolescent wants to do. We parents need to know that this is a temporary stage of adolescent growth and development. I know my children love me and also dislike me on more than one occasion when I pull out my “parent card.” That is parenting, like it or not. 22A
Volume 20 • Number 1
Jo Ann Serota, MSN, RN, CPNP, President and Fellow The other day, I received a belated birthday letter from my oldest son, which brought tears to my eyes and a flutter to my heart. He was the child who always was “the ONE”— forgetting his homework constantly, not studying for a test, socializing too much, and on and on. He was a good boy, but with him you never knew what was coming next. He marched to the beat of his own drum. His father and I prayed he would reach adulthood. I will keep his letter forever. At the age of 19 years, he told me that I made it through the storm of his adolescence. He appreciates me. He never fully understood the reasons for some of my decisions, but
is grateful for their effects. His father and I have always stressed with our children the importance of being honest, caring, helpful, generous, and thoughtful with everyone. I also made it a point to have proper etiquette at all times. I am still teased when I remind my children about their napkin and which fork to use. However, my son told me that as he observes the emotional responses and table manners of his peers at college, he knows which of his peers’ parents had a lifelong influence. He then stated because of the nurturing he has received, he has become a gentleman and that I am loved. Having your young adult child compliment you on your parental skills and express appreciation for all you did is so worth it. All parents deserve a pat on the back, and we hope, when the time is right, they will receive the ultimate compliment: “Thank you, mom and dad, for all you did. You did a good job and I truly appreciate it.” In my daily practice, I encourage parents to be parents—that is, to be honest, supportive, understanding, and most of all, to love their child though thick and thin. Someday, they too will be told what a good job they did. A child’s love: It is life giving. Journal of Pediatric Health Care
www.jpedhc.org
President’s Message
Parenting: The Ultimate Valentine Jo Ann Serota, MSN, RN, CPNP, President and Fellow
Let me share with you some of my experiences and thoughts about parenting. I wish there was a manual for this position in life. Parenting is a job that includes a lot of trial and error. One has to believe that it is ok to err and then forgive yourself. My children (all four of them) have given me wonderful memories, lots of laughter, and of course, too many tears to count. As a parent, I often wondered if I was doing a good job. I read tons of parenting articles and books, went to lectures on parenting issues, “experimented” with new ideas from the experts (of course, my children knew when Mom was using a new “psychological technique”) and on many occasions, I just had to “guts it.” The love between a parent and child is everlasting. We all tell our children how much they are loved, and as young children they in turn tell us that we are loved. As the child reaches adolescence, the overt display of affection and saying “I love you” usually is the last thing the adolescent wants to do. We parents need to know that this is a temporary stage of adolescent growth and development. I know my children love me and also dislike me on more than one occasion when I pull out my “parent card.” That is parenting, like it or not. 22A
Volume 20 • Number 1
Jo Ann Serota, MSN, RN, CPNP, President and Fellow The other day, I received a belated birthday letter from my oldest son, which brought tears to my eyes and a flutter to my heart. He was the child who always was “the ONE”— forgetting his homework constantly, not studying for a test, socializing too much, and on and on. He was a good boy, but with him you never knew what was coming next. He marched to the beat of his own drum. His father and I prayed he would reach adulthood. I will keep his letter forever. At the age of 19 years, he told me that I made it through the storm of his adolescence. He appreciates me. He never fully understood the reasons for some of my decisions, but
is grateful for their effects. His father and I have always stressed with our children the importance of being honest, caring, helpful, generous, and thoughtful with everyone. I also made it a point to have proper etiquette at all times. I am still teased when I remind my children about their napkin and which fork to use. However, my son told me that as he observes the emotional responses and table manners of his peers at college, he knows which of his peers’ parents had a lifelong influence. He then stated because of the nurturing he has received, he has become a gentleman and that I am loved. Having your young adult child compliment you on your parental skills and express appreciation for all you did is so worth it. All parents deserve a pat on the back, and we hope, when the time is right, they will receive the ultimate compliment: “Thank you, mom and dad, for all you did. You did a good job and I truly appreciate it.” In my daily practice, I encourage parents to be parents—that is, to be honest, supportive, understanding, and most of all, to love their child though thick and thin. Someday, they too will be told what a good job they did. A child’s love: It is life giving. Journal of Pediatric Health Care